No More Carrot Cake….

So my old lady across the street died. Sad, sad thing. I really loved that old lady - and that’s two old ladies I’ve lost since I’ve lived here. This one was special - she’s the one who always made little casseroles and pies and cakes for Paul and always made me a carrot cake on my birthday. My birthday this year won’t be the same without her carrot cake. She was also the one I always brought my finished projects over to have her see them as I completed them - and she was so good at “oohhhing” and “ahhhing” over them - telling me how wonderful they were, and how I had *better* put that one into the fair. I miss her already.

I’m glad she died at home, though, and not in a hospital - that’s the way she wanted it - but let me tell ya, when I’m dying - PLEASE please please - don’t have 15 people staying with me 24/7 the way she did. I was glad her family was there, but her house is small and that many people jammed into it at once must have been overwhelming - especially for her, since she was such a quiet, private person. If I had that many people in my house at one time when I felt sick and bad, I’d think I had already died and went to hell. Please, people, call me, say “Hey - too bad about you going to die soon, and all…” and leave it at that.

But the day the old lady died, we saw why they were so eager to stay there 24/7. And it wasn’t for the old lady’s benefit.

Now, when she died, I thought that the rescue would come and get her - take her away on a stretcher, maybe pronounce her dead along the way, and then whatever happens to dead bodies would happen. But no, when she died, the hearse came (Oh, and turned around in MY DRIVEWAY - which was disconcerting), and the hearse took her away on a stretcher in a body bag. Now, in the meantime, there were still 15 people in the house who had been there for the last three days without leaving. And before the hearse even *got there* - what did they do? Well, they didn’t waste any time, that’s for sure. They started clearing her house out of all the things thy wanted to take home with them. While she was still dead in the house!

Out comes her TV, out comes her dresser, out comes her toaster oven and microwave, out comes her pots and pans - to get stowed in the cars and in the back of their trucks. Are you believing this shit?????

It took like an hour for the hearse to get there - and all the while her family and friends were loading up their vehicles and digging up her rose bushes. Most disrespectful thing I’ve seen since my own family had a will read. And it’s not like the old lady had priceless antiques or valuable shit in there. And it’s not like they had to clear the house out or pay another month’s rent - she owned the house. Paul said “God Damn! We should have hired those fucking vultures when Aunt Sandy died! They would have had that place cleaned out in 2 days!” Which is true - it took us three months to clear Aunt Sandy’s house out. These people had the shed cleared out across the street by the time the hearse came.

And as if that wasn’t bad enough - it got even better when they started fighting - because you *know* that was bound to happen - with a bunch of people so eager to “get theirs”, you had to know that conflict was going to arise eventually. And it did. One of the girls (who had a smaller vehicle and wasn’t able to stuff as much in) finally realized that those with trucks had distinct advantages and started pitching a fit about her lack of ability to cart away furniture, and had a temper tantrum meltdown right in the driveway, screaming and yelling and kicking over boxes and furniture.

Un-fucking-real.

But it did make me glad it was nice enough weather out to have the windows open - and that I had washed the windows recently.

So, here’s to my little old lady. I hope that her spirit had already flown far, far away, and that she didn’t realize her family was pulling the sheets out from under her dead body and moving her around so they could move out the bed she had died in.

She was better than that, and deserved more respect.

People slay me, I swear to God.