The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Rant # 2,681,456 – Giving Babies Names that are Adjectives

Posted by thedarwinexception on August 12, 2009

Ok – so what’s the thing about naming kids after stupid descriptive adjectives? Did we run out of stupid place names as baby names? Are there too many Brooklyn’s and Dakota’s and Ireland’s so now we have to start imposing “adjective traits” on our children – hoping that they will aspire to be “Heavenly” or “Delicious” or “Desirous?” 

OK – so I talked to my brother this morning. He has a wife that’s due to give birth in September. I haven’t talked to him in a while – at least since the last ultrasound. I asked him “So??? Is it a boy or  girl??” It’s a girl (of course – I have all nieces yet could only give birth to boys
myself. that’s another rant…)

So, my next question was “What are you going to name her?”

Now, let’s remember here that I already have ONE sibling who was ignorant enough to name her kid “Precious”. And everyone in my family KNOWS how stupid I think that name is. Babies shouldn’t be named after stupid descriptive adjectives. Really. It’s dumb. Yes, your baby might be “Splendid” or “Angelic” or “Endearing” or “Adorable” but for God’s sake, don’t NAME her that. When you give your baby daughter some goofy adjective name you might as well install a stripper pole in the playpen and get her started early.

So – what did my brother say he was naming his new baby??

Scenic.

Yes, Scenic.

Scenic Lynn, in fact.

So, after my head exploded I said to him “Scenic? Well, I guess that’s a name you couldn’t OVERLOOK.”

Or maybe she just had a womb with a view.

Good God.

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Posted in Family, Oddities, rants | 27 Comments »