The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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A Letter and A Surgery Date

Posted by thedarwinexception on January 28, 2010


So, we finally got a date for Paul’s surgery. FINALLY. It will be on the 10th of February. I am Sooooooooo glad. We really need Paul to be better – and we need him to go back to work. And I really need to quit with the whole “arguing with doctor’s” thing. I’ve been caught up with doctors and specialists and insurance companies for a long time, but going through it with my own shit has been a LOT easier than trying to deal with Paul’s injury. We’ve been getting nothing but the run-around from these doctors, I swear to God. 

As an example of the stupidity I’ve been dealing with, let me tell you about the flutter. 

Paul goes in for a standard EKG that is required before you can have surgery. They find a “flutter”. So, the doctor decides Paul should have a working stress test to determine the extent of the “flutter”, so they can see if he’s OK to have surgery. But – Paul can’t do a working stress test, because he needs surgery on his knee. So, the doctor decides that before he can have the stress test to see if he can have surgery, they’ll need to do the surgery FIRST, then have the stress test to determine if he can have surgery. 

Yeah, I…….know…..But this is what I’ve been dealing with. Is it any wonder I was excited to FINALLY get a surgery date? So, all next week Paul has lab work appointments and pre-registration at the hospital and an appointment with his Primary Physician and then an appointment with the surgeon for pre-op stuff – then on the 10th, surgery. 

In other news, we got a letter from the District Attorney. Well, not *really* from the district attorney – but we got a form letter from the District Attorney’s office. It was a “You are the victim of a crime – here’s what we can do for you…blah///blah////blah…” letter. Receiving this letter made me think that the Preemie Dad must have been arrested – I mean, otherwise the DA’s office would have no clue that Paul was a “victim of a crime”, so I called the police department to talk to the officer who took our complaint. And yes, he confirmed that Preemie Dad had been arrested on the 19th – and he was arraigned on two counts of endangering the welfare of a child and one count of felonious assault. So *that* was good news – until they said that yeah, he was arraigned and RELEASED. What the fuck? I don’t understand how they could just release this idiot. But they did. And I asked if these new charges were going to violate his probation, but, of course, the police had no way to know if his probation officer had violated him or not. He very well could be violated, bit that would take a couple of weeks to make it’s way through the system. So, here’s hoping that these new charges were enough to get him violated. 

The worst part of all this is that *despite* the call to CPS and *despite* the fact that the CPS worker sat right here in my house and TOLD me “Preemie Dad is NOT to be living in that house with Preemie Kid – and Grandma and Grandpa Preemie have been TOLD in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that if they allow Preemie Dad back in the house then they are subject to charges, as well.” Well, despite all this – guess where Preemie Dad is living? Yup – right back at the house. Which REALLY pisses me off. I mean, THIS is why people don’t get involved. THIS is why people don’t call CPS when they see a child being abused – because even if you DO call, even if the charges are FOUNDED, even if the parent is FORMALLY CHARGED by the district attorney’s office with TWO COUNTS of child endangerment – even if ALL THIS happens – CPS doesn’t do a fucking thing. They don’t follow up on their idle threats of “OK – we’re here – don’t you DARE let that guy back in the house! Right? Got that? Yeah – there won’t be any follow up, of course, we are going to just like take you at your fucking word that he won’t come back. He won’t come back, right?” 

Ridiculous. Totally ridiculous. I mean, that guy sat right in my house and was blowing smoke up my ass about how “Oh, this is SERIOUS! Those grandparents will be CHARGED. This could mean a change of CUSTODY!” Yeah, right dude. OK, I fell for it. Shame on me. 

I got so pissed this morning, I called CPS again – just to tell them what I thought about their ability to follow up and make sure that their “Ooooohhhh – scary!!” orders were being followed. I told them who I was, told them that my husband was the one who got beaned on the head with a fucking ashtray doing their job, and I asked the lady on the phone what the hell was up and why Preemie Dad was right back living with the kid he was supposed to be staying away from. All she would tell me was that the case was “Still under investigation”. What the fuck they are investigating is beyond me – I mean, the guy was CHARGED for Christ’s sake. The DA thought there was enough credible evidence to take the guy to court – what the hell more does CPS need? What evidence do they want that the DA doesn’t seem to think is necessary in order to prove that this guy is beating the fuck out of this kid? 

So this really pissed me off even more than I already was, so I told the lady on the phone that I was NOT PLEASED. And I told her that while they were dragging their fucking asses “investigating”  if the kid got seriously injured or killed by the person they had ALREADY ordered to stay away from the residence, that I was going to be mighty fucking vocal in my displeasure. I asked her if she watched the Today show – because when the kid got seriously hurt (and make no mistake – that kid WILL get seriously hurt if nothing is done), I was going to be on the Today show and Meredith and I were going to be talking about how fucking ineffective the CPS office in Malone really is. And how “He’s not allowed to be at the house” really doesn’t mean a fucking thing, in all reality, because CPS doesn’t like actually go BACK to the house and make sure the offending parent isn’t living there – they just kind of take it for granted that their scary words will keep the offending parent away. 

Yeah, so she hung up on me. But I got my point across. And don’t be surprised if you see me on the Today show. Because I will SO be there when this kid is killed. I swear to God. 


But this is why, people. This is why no one GETS INVOLVED. Because they don’t do Jack Shit when you DO get involved, and all that ends up happening is YOU look like the idiot for calling.

Shit just frustrates the fuck out of me.

But at least we have a surgery date.

9 Responses to “A Letter and A Surgery Date”

  1. anygirl said

    Kim, I am glad you finally have a date for the surgery. You have been through so much lately. I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers. I am sick about the other news. The child beater is back in that house with preemie baby. My heart truly aches thinking about it. I do not think that I have ever felt so helpless. Thank you for trying to get some kind of positive reaction from CPS. Yet again, another pathetic effort by those who are charged to protect the innocent. I do feel as though I am watching a crime take place and I am doing nothing. Why aren’t they enforcing the law in that community? Helpless and frustrated beyond belief, but still I am in a better place than preemie baby. I just cannot believe this still goes on in our country. Bless you Kim, and bless that child. He needs our prayers, it seems that is all he has on his side.

  2. Caroline said

    I know this is will be of little help with all anguish you are experiencing right now, but everything you have been dealing with (Paul’s injuries, numbscull insurance companies, CPS, etc.),is the reason most people get screwed over, murdered, or die from simple injuries is that they just don’t care enough, or don’t know how or can’t bothered to get involved.

    The world needs more people like you. Don’t ever back down. You have already made a big difference in Paul’s recovery and Preemie’s life. Keep it up, and give Meredith that call.

  3. Nay said

    Kim, I am bewildered that CPS treated you so poorly. However, I bet they did some checking when they hung up on you.

    I am sad to hear that little boy is not in a safe home.

    Are you and Paul planning to press charges against the horrific son?

    If the police and CPS are not on top of this situation, could a TV news source or news reporter turn up the heat. Also, putting up flyers telling the story of this family and their terrible son and the dire home life that preemie tot lives in.

    I know you and Paul have his health priority as #1 and needs your

    Maybe something awful will happen to that horrid dad.

  4. Anonymous said

    Can Paul get a temp restraining order against him? If he ever shows up at your home, he could be arrested, yes or no? Or would this be another futile attempt?

    This story is truly a nightmare. Hope that poor baby gets a third chance, he needs one.

    Good luck for Paul on his surgery.

  5. kathy said

    paul can always file a small claims and be on the peoples court. marilyn is my favorite judge. paul’s “flutter” could have many causes, including his thyroid. however, there is a non walking stress test involving thallium/adenosine that he should have. as for your baby beater next door…keep taking pictures and keep calling…not just the cps but the police…don’t stop being involved…you saved this childs life so far

  6. Pam said

    You are so right about why people dont’ get involved. Hell, I don’t even want to read further I am so fucking frustrated.

  7. LCoastMom said

    Sorry to come into this so late, but the actual reason for CPS to not mess with the status quo is the valid reason they don’t want to interfere with preemie dad’s rights (perp’s have rights, victims not so much…) that and they have found that preemie is XX (insert an ever changing number) times more likely to experience abuse in a foster care situation than he is in his home.

    Yup they have decided kids – no matter just about what the circumstance, are safer with their own abusive parents than a set of trained and paid professionals.

    Sucks to be a kid.

  8. caroline said

    Kim and Paul,

    I know that posting to this blog is the last thing you want to do right now, but there are a many, many fans of yours out here in the blogosphere that need to know how ya’ll are doing. I sincerely hope that Paul is recovering nicely and you have not been ignoring your health. Just a brief posting will suffice.

    Your fan and fellow human,

  9. tulpjes said

    So what’s going on?

    Hope everyone is more than okay……

    …Lets us know….

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