The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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An Open Letter

Posted by thedarwinexception on June 18, 2009

Dear People Across the Street:

  1. Just how loud do you need the music in the car when you are driving around? HINT: If I can hear you coming when you turn the corner to come down the street, it’s too loud. And yes, I know I sound like my mother, and I know that she used to tell me “Turn that crap down!!” and I hated it, but guess what? She was right – disco music sucked. And you know what? So does that rap crap you listen to.
  2. When you get drunk on Friday and Saturday nights and call a cab to take you to the bar once you are liquored up enough, please keep in mind this simple fact: When you call a cab – they generally actually come to your house. There’s absolutely no reason for the cab to have to sit outside your front door honking the horn for 20 damned minutes at 11 o’cock at night. It shouldn’t be like this huge god damned surprise to you that they are there. You called them – keep an eye out for them.
  3. I realize you don’t have a driveway. But your lack of one should have been clear to you when you rented the place. That does not mean that MY driveway is available for you to use as “overflow” when you are having company. No, they can’t park in my driveway. And yes, I AM going to ask you to move your car. This should not elicit eye rolling and impatient remarks of “Geez, just a minute – damn – what a bitch” when I pound on your door and ask you to move. I may be a bitch, but I’m a bitch with a driveway. And a telephone – and don’t think I won’t call the tow truck.
  4. When you bring strange men home from the bar on the weekends – please ask them not to piss in the front yard. Because that’s just nasty. And nobody wants to see that.

Thank You. BTW – I realize you are on a short term lease. Don’t think I’m not counting the days until October 1st. I think the entire street will have a party when you leave. And HAHAHA! I WILL liet them park in my driveway. Even the ones that piss in the front yard.

Your Across the Street Neighbors


12 Responses to “An Open Letter”

  1. Val said

    OMG Too great!! Totally sucks that you have crappy neighbors thank God the ones i had moved out and the house is vacant now… now that i say that there will be a truck of people moving in tonight lol

  2. emagineer said

    And you are posting this on their door? I hope so. Have a “sort of” same issue a few doors down. The loud base music. But in this day and age, nothing will happen if you call anyone to take care of this stuff. Budget cuts in cops, but not the robbers. So guess who comes first?

  3. craigtamy said

    I really feel for you. I live in an apartment and the people who live directly behind us/master bedroom have this thing about hitting the walls. I have no idea what they do, but they hit the walls about 50-70 times a day/night. It sucks laying in bed about to go to sleep and then a THUD on the wall right next to you feels like it’s coming down. Hard to relax. I’m glad you have a date to look forward too. If you have a video camera mabye point it towards them, people doing stupid things generally don’t like to be taped. Maybe it will at least discourage them. Good luck.

  4. Caroline said

    Boy, that really sucks.

    I have some crappy neighbors also, but my neighbors and I have been able to keep them in check by calling the city and turning them in when they “store” their “classic”, i.e. old and crappy cars on the street, and when they play their really loud shitty music really loud past 10pm.

    How’s about getting Paul to put some obsticles in the driveway to keep them out? It really sucks when temporary people move in and dominate your serene neighborhood with their lack of concern for others. At least you know they are leaving in October!

  5. Sprocket said

    Hope they’re really leaving in Oct. Kim, and the place is empty for a while.

  6. Lorraine said

    Okay, your health must have taken a nosedive. You have had way too much fodder in the past few days for this silence to be voluntary. Everything okay?

  7. Kay said

    Missing your posts Kim, hope you are feeling well.

  8. Kay said

    Missing reading your creative posts Kim. Lorraine is right about the fodder in the past few days. Awaiting your thoughts. Hope you are ok!

  9. your bro said

    funny stuff. very funny stuff. love it.

  10. Starbright said

    Kim, where are you? Hope all is well. Just get worried when I don’t see an entry for a while. Again, hope all is well.

  11. Bob E. said

    Meanwhile, over in AFCA:

    On July 11 at 7:40, Kim posted a pretty funny comparison of what she ate that day, compared with what Paul ate.

    On July 14 at 6:48, we learn that Kim uses King Arthur flour exclusively.

    On July 15 at 12:51, Kim posted a funny question about why the sack of potatoes she bought had a three-pound sack of salt included inside. Apparently “salt potatoes” are a regional recipe in upstate New York.

    On July 16 at 7:45, we found out Kim does not like any sort of berries, or cheese.

    On July 19 at 3:48, Kim posted a four-word reply to a thread that was staggeringly funny, but only if you knew the history of several people (including her) in the history of AFCA…

    Also July 19 at 6:29, Kim started a thread (which she usually does each Sunday) asking ten random questions for all and sundry to answer. They are usually thought-provoking and/or intriguing, but not always deep, like “What is your hobby? Have you ever made money from it?” or “Have you ever won an award? What was it for, and what did you win?”. Everybody in the group learns a lot about everybody else as a result.

    On July 21 (today) at 10:58, Kim posted a response in this July 19 thread about the things she knits for the fair.

    And back on June 30 at 12:36, Kim posted an especially touching (and painful to read) recounting of her childhood experiences when her mother would disappear for days at a time, and taking care of the rest of her siblings devolved on school-age Kim.

  12. Gail said

    Hi Kim! I am sure a lot of us are worried about you again. Please stop in and let us know how you are doing. OK OK OK OK~

    If nothing else, please share your fair entires with us. They are always so beautiful to see! 🙂

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