The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Parenting Skills, Knitting and Val the Do-Gooder

Posted by thedarwinexception on June 16, 2009

So?? What has everyone been up to? Me? Yeah, I’ve been knitting, mostly. And I’ve gotten quite a few things done, too. More on that later. I’ve also been sick (of course), spent a small amount of time in the hospital (of course), and I got sick of Twitter. (I wish everyone else would, too.)

My main complaint at the moment is that with the nice weather has come troubles with the DishTV . We’ve had this thing for three years and never had a problem in the summer besides a few trimming of freshly blooming trees. Yeah, that didn’t work so well this year. The fucking thing doesn’t work at all if you want to watch any channel besides local channels. Which is a pain in the goddamned ass. I hate it. 

I called DishTV and the guy came out to see what the problem was and he says “Yeah, you need to move the dish. Here, de-limb this huge pine tree here, and we can mount the dish up in the tree somewhere.” OK – so I don’t think this is going to work, because even though I don’t know what the problem is, I’m quite sure it’s not that. The Dish guy says that the dish was never installed correctly to begin with – since it’s only on like a 4 foot pole that the guy stuck in the ground without securing it. But, whatever. The minute he said “De-limb this tree…..” My immediate question was “How much of this do *we* have to do before you can do what *you* have to do?” And when he said “You need to de-limb the tree yourselves.” I knew that it was bye-bye upper channels, because if I have to rely on Paul to get this done, it ain’t getting done. 

And I was right. It ain’t done, despite Paul saying “Yeah, I’ll do that this weekend…and Kim can call you guys back on Monday to come and move the dish.” I knew I wouldn’t be making that call on Monday. And I didn’t. And there’s no evidence it’s getting done any time soon. 

I hate summer. Makes my TV not work. 

But, on Sunday, Paul was out back wiggling the pole that the dish is mounted on (incorrectly), and I was yelling out the window telling him “No, that’s not helping…” When all of a sudden we heard this huge “boom” – like a tree had fallen in the back 40 – that’s what it sounded like. Then we heard a woman’s voice yelling “OH MY GOD.” And Paul ran into the backyard to see what the hell was going on. It wasn’t anything, really, just another example of what you get when you combine the stellar parenting skills of Malonians with a 4 year old kid, a car, and a backyard that includes a drop off.


Nice, eh? The kid wasn’t hurt, which is a good thing. But it took them a while to get the car up over the ditch. It went down a lot easier than it came up. 

Did you all like the picture of Phil Spector sans hair? Mostly, I loved Rachelle’s comment “They took his liberty, they took his dignity – now they’ve taken his HAIR.” I think that’s her best sound bite, yet. Of course, remember, this is the same Rachelle that INSISTED during the first trial that Spector’s hair was real – that she should know, because SHE was the one who styled it for him. Lying bitch. Kind of makes you wonder – if they’d lie about this, maybe they’re lying about Phil shooting that woman, right? 

I’m so glad he’s in jail. So – Val, in all her do-goodiness, asked me to make a sweater or something for he jamboree she was helping with for one of her friends who has a little boy who is very sick. So I made this sweater for her. 

Came out cute. I wasn’t sure about the pattern, so I made the sweater in a really cheap acrylic from my stash. Now that I know how cute the sweater turns out, I think I’ll make it again in a nice wool or superwash and give it to Val’s little girl this winter. 

Then, I decided that I had too much sock yarn for someone who doesn’t knit socks at all. So I took some self striping sock yarn and made a little sweater that I shall enter in the fair in the category “Baby Sweater”. I *love* this sweater. 


Paul likes this sweater, too. He said “Make one in MY size! I’d wear that!” I told him “Yeah. fuck you – go de-limb the tree.”

There’s a couple of other things I’ve made, too. Including a really cute hat. And I finished another square for the afghan. And at the moment I’m making mittens. I haven’t made mittens in 20 years.

More on that later this week. Sitting here typing all this out gets me exhausted. I think I need a better chair. Maybe that would help?



6 Responses to “Parenting Skills, Knitting and Val the Do-Gooder”

  1. Gail said

    Kim nice to see you back! Sorry to hear you were in the hospital. I hope you are feeling a lot better now. You are on my morning rounds and I was getting worried about you per my post yesterday. Thanks for surfacing. Take care.

    Love the sweaters, especially the sock sweater!

    I about fell over when I saw PS’s real hair, well what there was of it! He looks kinda scarry!

  2. Tess said

    Hey nice to hear from you again. I LOVE the sock sweater….very cute.
    I really don’t think that Philly boy looks any worse then he did with all the crazy wigs. If he just trimmed the scraggles he would be rather ordinary. He is never going to be good, but ordinary would be a step up.
    He is where he needs to be. Chelle will be gone in a few months…when the rest of his assets are under attack. She best get what she needs now, she will be back to doing whatever it was she did before she met him. She needs to go away too.
    How did the pipe bedroom turn out?

  3. Lorraine said

    Glad to see you back Kim. Call Dish back–if you get voice mail hell press 0. Usually that takes you to a live (sorta) person. Tell ’em whats going on and that your TV was working just fine until that tree grew overnight to stop it. If they won’t make your Dish work, then they violate the contract and you are switching to another company and they can whistle for their money. If that “tech” said that the Dish wasn’t installed right in the first place–then they get to fix it. Good Lord woman, you are missing all the re-runs! Seriously, being a somewhat ailing person myself, I know that the tube can be pretty important.
    I’ve missed your wit. Glad you are somewhat better. Aren’t these setbacks a bitch.
    Lets compare Malone to Edwardsburg, MI–me first: My daughter called her Dad last Sunday to wish him Happy Father’s Day. He said its on HIS calendar for this coming Sunday. OUR calendar shows last Sunday. Hmmmm–ours must be right because ours is the official Edwardsburg School System Calendar. Scary huh?
    Take care. Those of us who thrive on your view of the world really miss you when you are incommunicado.

  4. emagineer said

    Gosh, I was really worried you were not going to blog again. And also concerned about your health. This is such a wonderful morning welcome today.

    Love, love the sock sweater. I’m a bright color person which fits me to a tee.

    Please take care of yourself. I know there are many here wishing the best in all.

    Sandy in Colorado

  5. Valerie Dalton said

    OMG I LOVE THAT SECOND SWEATER! Paul would look so cute in one like that dont you think?

  6. Janna said

    OMG I second that emotion for that AMAZINGLY AWESOME self-striping sock yarn sweater. Would it be possible to make them in an adult size? What a stupid question … I know you are capable of knitting anything … The question is would you be willing to do it for a smallish female like myself?? Please email me and let me know your approximate price. I will be waiting. Take care of yourself, and THANKS IN ADVANCE!!!

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