The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Secret Santa

Posted by thedarwinexception on December 16, 2008


Who is excited for Christmas? Anyone? I wasn’t as  excited for Christmas as I was my yearly plate of goodies from Val. And she didn’t disappoint, bringing me over a huge platter of brownies and sugar cookies (the sugar cookies were Paul’s request). Of course, she brought them over on Sunday and they were gone on Monday. And I didn’t get a single sugar cookie. Paul’s assessment was “Say what you want about Val, the bitch can make cookies.” I think that was a compliment. 

I ended up buying Paul something for Christmas, which I normally don’t do. But his circular saw broke down a while ago (it was really old, I think ti was my Grandfather’s, so it was bound to break down sooner rather than later.) He’s been borrowing a circular saw from his bitch, so I knew Paul would have use for one. Then I got a Sears flyer in the mail that said “Come to Sears for Doorbuster Specials the day after Black Friday – and you can get this $70.00 circular saw for $39.99. ” That seemed like a good deal, so I went and got it. So now Paul will have something to open on Christmas – which really isn’t the norm around here. 

Although I do have a list of things I want – but mostly they are things I am buying regardless of what time of year it is, or whether or not there’s a scheduled day that it’s permissible to get gifts. 

Number One – I need a new printer. For the first time in 20 years, out of ALL the printers I’ve EVER owned, I have one that physically broke. The cartridge holder thing on the inside of the printer snapped off when I was changing the ink. Snapped right off in my hand. Which pissed me off, because I had just spent $50 on two new ink cartridges, I was changing the ink, and SNAP! The thing came off in my hand. What the fuck is THAT? 

But I want one of those new Kodak ESP printers that have replacement ink cartridges for like $25.00. They have the printer at Wal Mart for $89.99 – so that’s what I want. At least I’ll be able to print stuff without having a nervous breakdown about how much the ink costs. And since I’m not one of those people who throws the $25 printer away and goes and buys a new one when the printer runs out of ink, rather than spend $60 on new ink, I think it will pay off in the end. 

Number Two – I still want that stupid book at Joann’s “The Great American Aran Afghan” – especially now since they have a coupon for Free Shipping – No Minimum Purchase. I’ve been holding off on buying the book because the shipping is $6.00 – on a $12.00 book! That seemed unreasonable. 

Number Three – Rum and Eggnog. Nuff Said. 

Number Four – I want a Nintendo DS. I’ve never, ever wanted any of those “game” things before. In fact, we have a Playstation sitting in the garage that someone left here. But I want a DS. You know why? Because of that stupid fucking commercial with Phoebe from “Friends” where she makes the Chinese food with some kid using the DS. Damn, I REALLY want that. *I* want to make Chinese food with the DS!!! And I want that “Brain Game” cartridge, too. 

And Last But Not Least – MORE TIME. I need more time. More time to sew and knit. 

So, if you have tons of extra money from your rising stock portfolios, feel free to send me any of the above. Address available upon request. 

Oh – not that I haven’t been sewing and knitting lately – seems that’s all I’ve been doing. I’ve set the Sims aside for a moment and been making a bunch of stuff – mostly for Fonzie and her new nephew. I won’t show you pictures yet of all the stuff I’ve made for her, I’ll let her see it first, then show you pics, but I can show you the little dress I made for Val’s baby. And Paul hates this dress. Well, he likes the dress itself, he just hates the color. I LIKE the color. I’m just not into explosions of gaggy pink for baby girls. I like more adult prints and colors. But Paul is more of a traditionalist. He likes the dress, but thinks it would be much better if it was pink.

What do you think? Do you like the color? 


Here’s the front of the dress. It’s got an apron (with pockets) over a little ruffled dress with the opposite print pattern of the apron. 




Close up of the front of the dress with the little pockets on the apron. This is a better representation of the color than the other picture. 



The back of the dress. The dress has a zipper and the apron has snaps to the waist. 


Okay, so let me know if you like the color. 

And to everyone who has asked – the snow is generated by WordPress. It’s a plug in that you can enable. I’ve enabled it because I thought it was different. It starts in winter and ends sometime in January or February. WordPress has lots of these neat features, and they are always adding more. One of the nice things about WordPress.


16 Responses to “Secret Santa”

  1. Marcy said

    I agree with you about not needing every girly thing to be pink. On the other hand, the yellow you’ve chosen seems a little old-fashioned — you know the recipient and whether their tastes run more modern or more old-fashioned, so I’m sure you’ve considered that. I think it’s lovely.

  2. Greg Smith said

    “Say what you want about Val, the bitch can make cookies.”

    So what is it they say about Val?

  3. So what is it they say about Val?

    She fraternizes with the Amish.


  4. Greg Smith said

    She fraternizes with the Amish.

    Well, there you go, they make good cookies.

  5. Mary Beth said

    Hi Kim,

    I love the dress. From the picture it looks like a little calico print. I agree with you I don’t think that baby girls need to be dressed in pink all of the time.

    My Mom used to bake Amish Sugar Cookies every Christmas. If you want I will type the recipe for them here…for you and all your readers. Mom had these beautiful cookie cutters (which I have now). I tell you what she did with those cookies were works of art. One year I tried to varnish some them. I did it my shed & a damn mouse ate them 😦 Bastard Christmas Cookie Eating Mouse!

  6. HT said

    What does Val say about Paul?

    The dress is adorable…an apron?…maybe she’ll make the next batch of cookies for Paul. I’ll donate an Easy Bake Oven that’s about 8 years old and never opened. She could use the mix in that. Should be yummy. The oven was meant to be a joke. That’s why it was never opened. Well, that, and I’m way too old for an Easy Bake Oven.


  7. Caroline said

    I LOVE the dress, blondes look good in yellow and it has much more of a designer-couture vibe than the usual pink or blue.

    I also say go for the Kodak printer. I have a Kodak EasyShare 5500 to print photos off of my digital camera and it does an excellent job printing photos and just plain printing text, the cartridges are a breeze to change. I love the Phoboe ad also. It always makes me crave Chinese food and the little girl is really cute.

  8. IndyGena said

    Mary Beth,

    I would love that cookie recipe. I am always looking for a good one, and I don’t think I’ve ever really had one. So, if you wouldn’t mind… please, please post it. Did the mouse eat the cookies with the varnish on them?


    Anything you make is nice. I think the color is nice. I get sick of seeing all baby items in pastel colors. I like the pattern, too.

  9. Val Dalton said


    I have pictures of Anna in the dress I will send them to you soon. I think she looks cute in it, but i’m her mom so im suppose to think that. Tell Paul i will make him more sugar cookies after christmas… things are really busy right now. I told Scott that Paul said he Heath Ledger reminded him of himself in his younger days. Scott laughed too haha 🙂


  10. Kim (Canada) said

    The dress is very pretty, KIm! And I’m with you, “gaggy” pink isn’t always the way to go.
    My mother dressed me in pink ALL my life, and so it’s a color I deteste!
    Literally drives me around the bend and back – And so it’s no wonder my favourite colour is BLUE!
    It serves her right, really! Definately get a kick out of her, especially when she catches me in a pair of my “blue boxers”, and it sends her up the wall!!! Told her when they make a pair of “COMFY” “BLUE” “PANTIES” (YUCK), I’ll consider them! In the meantime, it’s boxers all the way, and the blue-er the better….LOL!

    Anyways, I’m on my way out, and so I will be checking the mail –
    Fingers crossed that the little card instructing me to attend the post office is there –
    I’m so excited!!!

    Have a Doctor’s appointment, but will let you know whether the stuff turned up today or not as soon as I arrive back home….
    I’m hoping, I’m praying, and dying to see these little baby outfit/saques –

    Back in a bit – Check in with you soon!

    Fonzie :`)

  11. Veronique said

    OMG, Kim, the dress makes me weep. You don’t ever do big girl stuff, do you?

    My sister sent on, with all seriousness, her 13 year old daughter’s Christmas list:

    1. Laptop
    2. Ipod touch
    3. Phone (with QWERTY keyboard)
    4. Nintendo Wii
    5. Digital camera
    6. Games for her DS

    Now, I don’t even know what a DS *is*, but I looked up the rest, and stuff runs from $99 (cheap digital camera) to a couple hundred bucks or more. And my sister helpfully noted, “…tell me if you buy something, so she doesn’t get the same present twice.” Now I can tell you, there is no one in my family about to drop a couple hundred bucks on one 13 year old niece. I will probably spend less than a hundred dollars on her whole FAMILY. I’m not blaming my niece– what do you know at 13? But her mother? Surely when your daughter hands you a list like this, and you make $8/hr and your husband is out of work, you hand it right back and say, “Get real” right? Right? Or do you pass the list on to your “rich” parents (living on SSI) and siblings (making ends meet but certainly not out burning piles of extra cash lying around) and helpfully try to make sure your daughter won’t have the heartbreak of opening TWO Nintendo Wiis ($349 each at

    The comments about Val and the Amish have tempted me to roust out the little Amish cookie book I bought years ago and make some cookies. Or you can forward my address to Va.


  12. Kim (Canada) said

    I sooooo sad!
    No post office ticket in the mailbox advising me of
    parcel pick-up….
    Oh well – Maybe tomorrow!


    PS – Veronique, my girlfriend just had the same thing happen with her niece!
    We were both completely taken aback, not to mention disgusted,
    that this seemed appropriate, and was ok’d by the mother, to email that as her birthday wish list to her aunt.
    Scary enough as that was, WTF are we gonna do with the christmas wish list that’s soon to follow….
    What’s this world coming to? And what kind of manners, respect, and social graces are these people teaching their children?
    I just don’t get it…

  13. Mary Beth said

    IndyGena Says:
    December 16, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    Mary Beth,

    I would love that cookie recipe. I am always looking for a good one, and I don’t think I’ve ever really had one. So, if you wouldn’t mind… please, please post it. Did the mouse eat the cookies with the varnish on them?

    (Yes, the mouse did) & here is my sweet Mom’s Amish Sugar Cookie Recipe:


    1 Cup Sugar
    1 Cup Confectioners Sugar (Powdered)
    1 Cup Butter
    1 Cup Canola Oil
    2 Eggs
    4 ½ Cups Flour
    1 tsp baking soda
    1 tsp cream of tartar
    1 tsp vanilla (I would use at least 2 tsp)
    ½ tsp almond extract (I would use at 1 tsp)

    Cream sugars, butter, and oil together. Add eggs, flour, soda, cream of tartar and flavorings. Mix well and place in the refrigerator overnight or at least several hours.

    Now…this is where it gets a bit murky. This is what the recipe said: Roll dough into balls,
    about the size of a walnut. Press down with a fork dipped in flour (this is where you could use the Cookie Cutter). Place on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 375 for 8 to 10 minutes. Can be decorated with colored frosting & sugar. YIELD: 10 & ½ DOZEN

    One of these days I will try it. But, I can never do what my Mom did with this recipe. Not only beautiful, but delicious!!

  14. IndyGena said

    Thanks Mary Beth… appreciate it. I will let you know how they turn out.

  15. I wanted to give you a little feedback on the snowflakes on the blog. While they are pretty and different, I get recurring labrynthitis (aka vertigo) and trying to read while also involuntarily trying to track individual moving snowflakes is exactly the kind of thing that can set it off if I’m not careful. I turn off images and signatures on web forums for the same reason, because the fast-moving animated smilies can have the same effect if I’m bombarded with them. Fortunately, I figured out that I can turn off Javascript in Firefox (in the Tools/Options/Content panel) when I read your page now, and the snowflakes stop in their tracks, so it works out, albeit with an occasional character blotted with a suspended snowflake 🙂

    I LOVE your articles, and if I hadn’t figured the Javascript part out, I would have copied and pasted the text into an editor so I could read it without the snowflakes (which is, in fact, what I DID do the first time I encountered them).

    Merry Christmas!

  16. I think it’s time for your 2009 Predictions.

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