Posted by thedarwinexception on October 5, 2008
OK – the one good thing about the OJ trial being over is that now I have time for other stuff!! So let’s catch up on other things.
First off, Val had her baby!! A beautiful little girl named Anna, who looks much like her big brother, and that has to be a good thing because I’ve gotta tell ya, he’s the most gorgeous little boy God ever made.
Here’s my sweetie pie Luke.
And here’s baby Anna.
In other news, my birthday is a week from tomorrow!! I hope you’ve shopped already! HA! (Just kidding.) I don’t know if I want anything. I’m fairly sure Paul will get me a Joanne’s Gift Card – which is always a good thing, especially since The Great “Day After Thanksgiving” sale is coming up – and I always spend way too much money there – but the fabric I get on that day lasts me the whole year, so it’s all worth it. Oh – and I want “The Great American Aran Afghan” book – because that’s the afghan I think I’ll make for the fair next year.
But mostly I just want to go to the Chinese Buffet. I MAY be able to arrange that, too. And I won’t even MENTION to Val that I’d love some of her damned homemade brownies, now that she has TWO kids to take care of. I think my brownie days are done.
Of course, Paul is pissed at me so he may just tell me to go fuck myself on my birthday. And do you know why he’s pissed at me? Because I know his code. I’m sorry I know his code, but after all these years of being together, what the hell does he expect? He’s pissed off because I know what he’s saying when he’s trying to be “oh so subtle” and not say what he means. And he tries so hard to make me think that “Oh, baby, I’m putting YOUR needs first.” when he’s really not. I see though his charm and he’s pissed.
Here’s Paul speak:
WHAT PAUL SAYS:
“Babe, you only have one Diet Coke left, you may need to get to the store today.”
WHAT PAUL MEANS:
Now, Paul wants me to think “Oh, what a nice guy – he’s right on top of what I need and he’s concerned about me enough to keep a running inventory of when I need Coke so I don’t run down to the fridge to discover I’m out. What a fucking sweetheart.”
But DON’T BE FOOLED. That’s not what Paul means AT ALL. You know what Paul REALLY means?? Paul REALLY means “Kim, I need Gatorade, can you go to the store today?” That’s what Paul REALLY means.
Paul will come to me and say “Do you need Diet Coke?” When I have 6 Diet Cokes in the fridge. And it means the same thing – “I need Gatorade.” It has NOTHING to do with Diet Coke, or me, or what I need. It’s all about what PAUL needs.
WHAT PAUL SAYS:
“Babe, are you getting hungry?”
WHAT PAUL MEANS:
Now, is there anyone who thinks that Paul gives a rat’s ass if I’m hungry or not? He doesn’t give a shit if I’m hungry. If I said to Paul “Yes, I’m FAMISHED why don’t you go make me something?” He’d have that same look as Sarah Palin during the Katie Couric interview. Like I just said something to him in fucking Greek. Paul does NOT want to know if I’m hungry.
What Paul REALLY means is “Kim, I’m hungry – go make me something.”
So why can’t he just come upstairs and say that to begin with?? Why can’t he just come upstairs and say “I need Gatorade?” Why does he have to couch everything in the “I’m such a nice fucking guy I think of you first.” terms?
It’s aggravating. And patronizing and it drives me fucking insane.
But, that’s Paul.
In other news, I need a haircut again. Last winter I got it cut to my shoulders and now it’s back down to my waist. I hate my hair. Absolutely hate it. I can’t run a brush through it because it’s too damned thick, so I get this thing going in the back of my head where my hair starts turning into dreadlocks because I can’t brush the shit. And it’s heavy and nasty. I need a nice, neat, manageable haircut that doesn’t need me to fuck with it with blow dryers and curling irons or whatever else people use these days to fuck with their hair. Because that’s not going to happen. So if you know what kind of cute hairstyle I can get, let me know. I REALLY need a haircut. Shaving my head is looking like a reasonable alternative at this point. It grows so fast it would be back down to my waist in a few months, anyway.
So is anyone watching Project Runway?? Can you believe the final four?? I swear to God, if this is the caliber of the contestants I *AM* auditioning next year. Whether I can put two colors together or not. With these 4 as the finalists, I don’t think it matters if you can put two colors together. Korto can’t. Last season was SOOOOOO much better.
Did anyone watch “America’s Got Talent”? Were you pissed Eli didn’t win? I was. But I knew the fat opera singer was going to win from day one, anyway. Because “Britain’s Got Talent” had Paul Potts last year, and America needed a fat opera singer, too. What the producer failed to notice was that Paul Potts was actually good.
So, tomorrow is a new week – one without the OJ trial to sit in front of all day! YEAH!!! I’m so happy about that. Back to sewing and knitting. I’m almost done the Devan sweater. Woo Hoo. Gotta find buttons for it – I SUCK at button finding.