The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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New Baby, Old Problems

Posted by thedarwinexception on June 27, 2008

 

So I can finally post the pictures of the new baby I took the other day. I should have posted them sooner, but I have felt like complete and utter dog shit all week long, I swear to God. I spent most of the day yesterday laying on the couch watching stupid TV shows, although even laying there is uncomfortable and maddening because I can’t stay in one position for very long before I have to move. So, I get up and go try to sew or get up and try to knit, then I get uncomfortable again in whatever position I’m sitting in and have to lay down again. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

So, getting to actually sit at the computer and answer emails or upload photos or post here is damned near impossible. Next Friday I’ll go and get the prescriptions filled that clown doctor gave me and see if those help – which I doubt they will. But I’ll try. And actually I hadn’t even looked at the prescriptions he gave me, because, really, I’m on so much shit and it’s so expensive every month the LAST thing I wanted to do was go and fill 2 more that would cost me another $100, but I looked at them yesterday and one of the prescriptions is for Protonix. Protonix. Now, is there *anyone* here who believes that what I am experiencing has anything at all to do with :acid reflux disease? Anyone? I mean, this doctor tells me “Don’t walk so far every day – you are raising your heart level and that’s what is giving you the pain in your chest, oh, and don’t walk up and down the stairs so often, make one trip at the beginning or end of the day and have someone else do all the walking up and down the stairs for you the rest of the day” and then gives me a fucking prescription for heartburn? I’ve had three kids – I *know* what heartburn is – this ain’t it.

The other prescription is for Metoprotol – I guess another of the never ending High Blood pressure pills, since none of the 15 different ones I’ve tried so far actually controls my high blood pressure. Must be all that acid reflux.

If I don’t feel any better this weekend, I am definitely going to Plattsburgh. Because now I’m determined to drop dead just to prove the clown doctor wrong. Stupid fuck. I swear to God.

But, anyway, on to bigger and better things.

Here are some pictures of the baby. He’s cute, I guess, as far as babies go. Tiny little thing, though.

 

I haven’t called over there to ask if she got more stuff in the mail. Paul will be going over tomorrow, though, to “fix their toilet”, so I’ll make sure and have him ask if she has gotten more stuff in the mail.

Oh – and that aggravates the fuck out of me, too. Everyone remembers that I didn’t have a fucking kitchen sink for like a year, right? Because Paul never got around to hooking the new plumbing up, right? So I had no god damned kitchen sink AT ALL. Which is a major pain in the ass, if you think about it.

So he goes over to these people’s house and their toilet is leaking. Leaking like a sieve. And what does Paul do? Paul offers to fix it for them. FIX IT FOR THEM. After I didn’t have a fucking kitchen sink for a fucking YEAR he’s going to go over to SOMEONE ELSE’S house and do plumbing work for them! Because their toilet fucking leaks?? Are you fucking kidding me??

So I say to him “You’re going to WHAT?? Fix their toilet? Look, asshole, fix my fucking TV room light!” Because I haven’t had an overhead light in the TV room for over a month. Doesn’t work. Don’t know why. Just doesn’t work. And it’s pissing me off.

And Paul says “You know I don’t ‘DO’ electricity – I’m a plumber, not an electrician.”

So, this pisses me off even MORE. So I say “Oh, OK, Yeah, that’s right You’re a PLUMBER. So you’re a PLUMBER, but I didn’t have a fucking KITCHEN SINK FOR A FUCKING YEAR , but you’re a PLUMBER? Well, you’re lucky I didn’t know your were a fucking PLUMBER when I was running up and down the fucking stairs to wash dishes in my fucking bathroom sink.”

Why?? Just WHY? That’s all I ask, just WHY?? Sometimes I just think the stars are aligned only to drive me outside my fucking mind.

And now I want to break my fucking toilet just to see how long it takes Paul the Plumber to fucking fix it.

 

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13 Responses to “New Baby, Old Problems”

  1. You are too funny!!!! Just remember…a shoemakers kids never have any shoes…..

    My hubby is a metal fabricator / welder and I can’t even get him to make me a fucking SHEPARDS HOOK!! Or a hanging pot rack, or GOD FORBID a flat piece of metal – just b/c I fucking asked for it. But he can make himself race car tubs, battery boxes, custom made gas tank for his chopper…oh don’t make me go there.

    I will be adding you to my list of blogs. You are just great!!
    http://www.averagegirlinaverageworld.blogspot.com

  2. Val Dalton said

    Kim please let me know if there is anything you need. Do you feel up to birthday cake? I’m making Janice a birthday cake tomorrow (her bday is today though but we’re stuck at work) i could save u guys some pieces if you are up to it 🙂

  3. i could save u guys some pieces if you are up to it

    Are you kidding Me?? Of course I will eat cake. I will eat cake even if I am *not* up to eating cake. Make me sick? Oh fucking well, it’s CAKE.

    Just for future reference – here is a list of things I will eat NO MATTER WHAT:

    1. KFC ANYTHING – especially biscuits and cole slaw.
    2. Bread from the bakery – any exotic or unusual breads, like Peasant bread or Italian bread or french bread or english muffin bread (that’s my favorite, actually.) I don’t care if that shit is moldy, I’ll just scrape it off or eat around the green spots.
    3. Val’s brownies. For some reason, these are the best brownies EVER. I actually had to have sex with Paul last time she brought some over, because he threatened to eat the last brownie unless I “gave him some”. And I don’t “give him some” easily, so the brownies must have been good.
    4. Carrot Cake. Without raisins. Best if it has cream cheese frosting, but not a deal breaker.
    5. Chinese food. Take me to that Chinese buffet and I’ll eat until I have to be rolled out of the place.

    OK – now everyone say a little prayer for our dear friend Dana,(www.holdthetoast.com) because you KNOW her head just exploded.

    Kim

  4. My hubby is a metal fabricator / welder and I can’t even get him to make me a fucking SHEPARDS HOOK!!

    The odd part of all this is – Paul is not a plumber. He just knows how to do it. Unless that makes him a plumber. It’s just that when someone ELSE needs some plumbing done – he’s a plumber. When *I* need something done, well, he’s not a plumber anymore, and can’t do anything. Believe me, if THEIR light needed fixing in THEIR TV room – he’d be an electrician. It’s all part of the “Paul is a nice guy” thing he has going on.

    When we were still living in Florida, Paul had a sticker sheet of Harley stickers in the barn. I went in there, saw them, and took the whole sheet, then went in the house and stuck them on everything I wanted fixed or taken care of – I put one on the garbage can, one on the laundry basket, one on this door that wouldn’t close. Paul asked what all the stickers were doing all over the house and I told him “Because I finally figured out that the only fucking things around here that get any attention are fucking Harley things – now take out the Harley garbage.”

    Kim

  5. “Paul asked what all the stickers were doing all over the house and I told him “Because I finally figured out that the only fucking things around here that get any attention are fucking Harley things – now take out the Harley garbage.”

    That’s what I’m talking about. You are my kinda girl!!!

    At least you have enough nerve to show yourself on your blog, I have trouble even cussing on mine. oh well. Can I come here and cuss?

  6. Caroline said

    Harley Garbage? You had me laughing out loud over that.

    I actually left my first husband because he was so fucking lazy. Our house was falling down around us, the bathroom was backed up and he would “have” to go play in a baseball tournament and then hang out in the bar with his team. Every weekend. And many weeknights too. Best thing I ever did. I learned you can hire somebody to fix anything, even clean your house. If you are low on cash you can just barter for it. You have lots of skills to barter with.

    Take care of yourself, get Paul to order takeout for you and continue to rest and relax, too many people, including me NEED your blog for our daily dose of humour!

    The baby is cute, but he looks jaundiced.

  7. The baby is cute, but he looks jaundiced.

    Ahhhhh,…..VERY good call! He *is* jaundiced. He looks like a little yellow butter bean. She’s had to take him in like every other day to check his bilirubin.

    Of course, I thought that they told me when my son was jaundiced to keep him out in the sun some every day, but when I told her this she said “oh, they didn’t tell me anything about that….”

    The again, they kept my son under some special lights for like 3 days before they let him come home, but they let the little butter bean come home at 3 pounds the day after he was born. So I’m assuming “shit has changed some”.

    Kim

  8. Veronique said

    “Because I finally figured out that the only fucking things around here that get any attention are fucking Harley things – now take out the Harley garbage.”

    OMG, Kim, I literally LOLed.

    V.

  9. Cathy said

    Sounds like you have to take baby steps in dealing with Paul … first the kitchen sink, then print out electrical instructions from the Internet somewhere and get him the “parts” he needs to fix your overhead light.
    Cute baby, hope he’s spending plenty of time in the sunlight working on his jaundice as he’s not being cooked under the bilirubin lights …
    You take care of yourself, Kim. Try to keep that blood pressure down. When will you be seeing a real doctor for a proper answer? I doubt your problem is acid reflux, and if they really thought that’s what it is, why not scope ya real quick and go looking for those esophageal ulcers? ‘Cause that’s not what you’ve got, but why not throw a pill at it and hope for the best!

  10. Amy said

    I was going to post that he was jaundiced, too, but someone beat me to it. MG had it, and they had me sit her in the sun. That was 2005, so it wasn’t too long ago.

    Must be baby week, because two of my friends had ’em this week, too. Both boys.

    The Harley Garbage made me laugh. You are too fucking funny.

    Hope you get to feeling better.

    Amy

  11. JayDee said

    Dahlink, dahlink, dahlink…

    From a long time member of the ‘dealing with blood pressure’ clan:

    There is no standard drug route for blood pressure, it’s an iterative process. You try something, it doesn’t work, so you try something else, and you keep repeating it until you find the solution. Find a non-clown doctor, and during the first visit tell him/her you want to work with him/her by phone to find the right combination. Then try whatever’s prescribed for a couple of weeks, check your own BP, then call the office if it’s not right yet and have the Doc phone in a prescription for whatever the next drug is that he/she wants to try. It’s a total pain in the ass process, but you can usually find the right combination eventually. (I’m on a combination of three) You just can’t do it on a ‘one visit every six months’ basis.

    Take care of yourself, ’cause you’re the one who has to live in that bod… Jay Dee

  12. Caroline said

    “The again, they kept my son under some special lights for like 3 days before they let him come home, but they let the little butter bean come home at 3 pounds the day after he was born. So I’m assuming “shit has changed some”.”

    Was this little guy born in the clown hospital?. If so, that place is ripe for malpractice suit heaven. 3 pounds and jaundiced should never have been allowed to come home with what I imagine is a very young mother. Shit has not changed that much. Get a sunlamp.

  13. AtwoodLady said

    Awwww…..Kim, thanks for sharing pictures of baby Jeremy……he is adorable!!!!! I am sorry he is not up in weight and proper blood levels.
    Nay

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