The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Posted by thedarwinexception on June 12, 2008

So I think we jinxed the sad girl.

Since I thought that *her* shower should have been on Sunday – you know, since she was the one due first, and with timing and all that, and since I worried that she had nothing for *her* baby, doesn’t she go to the doctor’s two days after the shower – and doesn’t he tell her that she has to come to the hospital the next day to be induced because her baby is “in distress”.

So she went to the hospital Wednesday and delivered her baby boy – premature – last night at 10:00.

The baby is doing fine – although he weighs a little less than 4 pounds.

Should I mention that the first thing that crossed my mind when they said it was “in distress” and “premature” and “less than 4 pounds” was “Well, tell her to have another fucking CIGARETTE???”

Don’t get me on my rant about pregnant women who smoke, but I *WILL* say that a good test of whether or not you are ready to be a mother is to ask yourself “Can I give up smoking for 9 months?” If the answer to that question is “No, No I can’t give up smoking for 9 months”, then chances are you are way to selfish and self indulgent to be a parent. Because believe me, once you have kids you’ll be giving up way more than a cigarette. Hell, you won’t even be on the toilet alone for at least 4 years. Kids like to watch you pee.

But, I think we jinxed her.

Paul went over to the house where she’s living (with her boyfriends’ parents, the ones that gave their daughter a shower on Sunday), and they were wondering “gee, I don’t know *what* we are going to do!” Sad girl has NO diapers, sad girl doesn’t even have a crib or bottles for the baby or any clothes or ANYTHING!” I told Paul – “gee, maybe they should have given her a SHOWER”. But, Paul is firmly of the mind that it wasn’t their responsibility to give her a shower, that her own family should have done that, and that, besides, if you don’t have the means and wherewithal to buy your baby a crib or diapers, well, maybe you shouldn’t be having the kid in the first place. And, both are very valid points. I mean, her boyfriend’s parents are giving her a place to live, feeding her and paying for her meals. Maybe they feel that’s “shower” enough. And really, who can argue with them? There’s only so much they can do, I suppose.

Oh – and did I mention? The baby’s father is in jail. Yeah, that’s right. In jail. So sad girl had to deliver her baby alone. Which was sad enough in itself. But did make me wonder if that means his name can’t be on the birth certificate, since he wasn’t there to sign it. I wonder how that works. Just because I wonder about stupid shit like that.

Anyway, I’m knitting and sewing up a frenzy for her. The baby will be in the hospital for a while, at least until it gets to 5 pounds or so, and since she isn’t breastfeeding (why, I don’t know, I think that would be the best thing for the kid – and her – Breast milk is free), that might take at least a couple of weeks. I’d like to have some things ready for her when the baby comes home. And I may go and buy something for her to bring the baby home in. Everyone likes something cute and new and nice to bring their baby home from the hospital in, right?

But, if anyone wants to send her or the baby something, I’ll find out her last name and you can email me and I’ll send her address to you. I think you should send the stuff right to her – I think that would brighten her day – to get mail and nice things for her baby.

Oh and the baby’s name is Jeremy. Which surprised me – that it wasn’t a weird or odd name. Good for her.



24 Responses to “JINX!!”

  1. AtwoodLady said

    Kim, you have a big heart and lots of love to share with the down-trodden.

    I would like contribute to help this baby. He is so little and innocent and could use help when he gets out of the hospital.


  2. Gail in NC said

    God bless you, Kim! You talk like a tough girl but your heart gets you every time.

    Just because people make bad choices doesn’t mean we have the right to neglect a helpless little baby. I hope everyone will reach out to help little Jeremy.

    Again, God bless!

  3. Val Dalton said

    Hey kim i have a crib if she wants it. It’s older and has to be put back together but it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to do it, all they would have to do is go to walmart and buy a matress for it.

  4. Leslie said

    Kim- I have a playpen for her- I’ll go through my stuff- I may have more-

  5. Hey kim i have a crib if she wants it. It’s older and has to be put back together but it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to do it, all they would have to do is go to walmart and buy a matress for it.

    Oh Val!!! I called over htere and asked if they had room for a crib and they were fucking THRILLED!!!!!!! YES! They want it very much.

    Next question is how to get it to them… me or email me.



  6. I have a playpen for her- I’ll go through my stuff- I may have more-

    Oh that’s great!! They live right down the street from you, too. Same street – just like 5 houses past my street.


  7. Caroline said

    You and your readers have such big hearts. Although she must be feeling lower than low right now I bet this virtual shower will restore her faith that their are people out there that wish her nothing but happiness.

  8. IndyGena said


    Send me her address, I would like to send her some money or a gift card. Do you have a “Babies R Us?”

    p.s. Read your e-mail…


  9. Matt said

    Kim you are such a big hearted woman to go out of your way to help this girl. i agree with you 100% about pregnant women smoking…i mena COME ONE!!! its a small thing to give up to ensure the health of your baby. Being the father of premies, seeing a baby so small fighting for its life is a sight you never forget and would sell your soul to the devil to make sure your baby leaves that NICU healthy & happy. My prayers are with her and the baby. Are they in the Burlington NICU? I know some March of Dimes people over there that could help her.

    Matt (father of twin angel premies)

  10. Dana said

    Unless she’s quit smoking now, probably best she’s not breast feeding. Kid could be hooked on nicotine from Day One.

    Oh, and tell Paul he’s wrong: It’s an etiquette faux pas for the family to throw the shower. Showers, both baby and bridal, are supposed to be given by the recipient’s friends.

  11. Leslie said

    Hi Everyone-

    I just wanted to let you all know that Kim went to the ER today and they admitted her. She was not feeling well yesterday and the pain in her chest was giving her a lot of grief. I guess it was unbearable today. She called me to tell me where she was. At 10pm they are doing blood tests, they have her on pain meds. The kinda sorta good news is that when they gave her nitro, her pain went away. So- My suspician was right, she needs some invasive heart tests. Hopefully they send her to PLattsburgh. I will update you as I know more; please say a prayer for our mean- ass, good- hearted friend.

  12. Bahamamama said

    Leslie…Thanks so much for the update. The weird thing is that I stumbled onto this site about a year ago and it’s been a mainstay for me ever since. As you can see from my ‘name’ I’m living in the Bahamas but the ironic part is that I used to be a nurse in the ICU at CVPH/Plattsburgh. I knew the staff in the cardiac unit well when I worked there and they are really an excellent group of people. I hope she does get sent there and that the cause of whatever is causing Kim’s unbelievable hypertension will also be found before permanent damage results. Kim, herself, has no idea how much she means to all of us out here in “cyber” world and I will pray for her rapid and complete recovery. She has too much sewing and knitting to do!

  13. Kay said

    Thank you Leslie for letting us (Kim’s fans) know what is happening with her health. Kim is an amazing person. She certainly sets a code of high courage and conduct in the way she deals with her health issues. She continues to accomplish so many things, and writes about “things” with such insight and cleverness. I am always looking forward to reading what she writes about. She is in my prayers.

  14. HT said

    Thanks, Leslie. Very kind of you to let us know what the heck was going on. That makes sense something heart related is going on since her BP was so high. Are you the Chamber of Commerce Leslie? If you visit Kim, tell her we’re “pulleying” for her. Had to do a little play on words.


  15. luvgabe said

    Thank you, Leslie, for informing us about Kim’s health situation. PLEASE continue to keep us posted.

    Kim, you are in my thoughts & prayers. Know that MANY many are thinking of you, worrying about you, and sending you their good wishes. Take care 🙂

  16. tess said

    Leslie, Thank you for the info on Kim.
    I certainly will have you in my prayers. I hope that the medical staff can get to the bottom of your problems and straighten them out. We miss you Kim. Malone will just have to behave until you can get out and monitor all the interesting characters that we have all come to love. Most of all, we love you.

  17. Kim (Canada) said

    I mirror the above sentiments!
    Thanks Leslie!

    Keeping you close, and in my thoughts, Kim!

    Fonzie :`(

  18. luvgabe said

    ZL was/is a Gypsy, otherwise known as Roma. Here’s an interesting article on the plight of Europe’s Roma in The Economist:

    Now that I think of it, ZL & her son being of Roma background might explain why both of them are so elusive.

    Thinking of you, Kim!

  19. luvgabe said

    To the good Leslie:

    May we have an update on Kim?


  20. Windsmiles said

    All of our thoughts and prayers are with you Kim. Happy thoughts. My blood pressure was well over 200, now its fine thanks to modern medicine. Get well soon, we all miss you.

  21. Anonymous said

    Thanks so much for posting. Although hearing Kim is sick enough to be in the hospital was not good news. It is good she is there for ongoing watch. I had been wondering if she followed through with the tests. Hopefully more will be done and this latest situation will get the evalutions needed.

    Keep us posted and let her know how much we care about her.

  22. noorbe said

    I’m sorry to hear this news.
    I always look forward to read what Kim has to say.
    Kim, you are an amazing person with a hart of gold.
    Get better soon.

    Leslie please tell Kim she’s in my thoughts, I care very much for her.

  23. AtwoodLady said

    Thanks, Leslie, any updates regarding Kim, Paul and Baby Jeremy and mommy will be appreciated.


  24. Greg Goss said

    I think that the father’s name on the birth certificate is whatever the mother says. They let the courts settle that much later, if ever. I knew someone who once told me that her “boyfriend” was on the birth certificate for her third son but that someone else from a drunken encounter was probably the father — don’t tell Tim.

    Back in 2004, a friend/protege of mine was pregnant. One of the big stress items between Wendy and I was that we couldn’t have kids. My job was to talk this youngster out of an abortion. I got her up to about a 50/50 point then her decision flipped back into the default decision that was already in process. But the discussions had already been there — If she carried it to term and we still wanted to adopt, then she would put my name on the birth certificate to simplify the adoption.

    Society takes the woman’s word for it.

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