The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Posted by thedarwinexception on June 9, 2008


OK – I went to the baby shower. It was OK – they had a lot of food. And they didn’t play a lot of those nauseating “party games”. Which I was grateful for. I would have won the one game they played – but I was embarrassed and didn’t raise my hand.

The hostess passed out a sheet of paper with “scrambled words”. I had the words unscrambled before she finished handing out the sheets of paper. And she hadn’t even gotten to the hint of “THESE ARE ALL RELATED TO BABIES AND BABY THINGS”. So I don’t know how I managed to unscramble them. Everyone had a whole three minutes to do the list of 12 words. It took me about 12 seconds. I was the only one who got them all right – most people were stumped by “kelwar”. But when the hostess asked “OK – did anyone get ALL of them?” and people started grumbling things like “Yeah right – ALL of them – HAHA.” There was no fucking way in hell I was going to raise my hand.

But, I think the guest of honor liked the things I made – who knows? I don’t think she really took in a lot of what she was getting – there was a LOT of stuff, and she didn’t spend a lot of time ooohing and ahhhing over anything, even the things I thought were really special, like a couple of really cute outfits, and one of those “pack and play” things, and a handmade quilted photo album with a place for the baby’s picture on the front.

She got a lot of nice things, and lots of clothes and diapers, and like I said, there was a LOT of food.

I did notice a couple of things that I had to think twice about.

Number one – is it customary now for the father to attend the baby shower? I don’t remember ever being at a baby shower where there were *any* guys there. But it’s been a long time since I’ve been to a shower. I generally avoid shit like that. And I do know that there are “Jack and Jill” wedding showers nowadays -s o maybe the father does go to baby showers now. I don’t know. But the father to be (assumed father to be) was at the shower, and I thought that odd.

Number two – I have to admit, I felt REALLY bad for one girl there. She’s pregnant, too, with the guest of honor’s brother’s kid. OK – now this shower was thrown by the soon to be grandma, the mom-to-be’s sister and sister in law. Okay, got that? But the mom to be also has a brother – and his girlfriend is pregnant, too. In fact, she’s due *before* the girl who had the shower yesterday – she’s due at the end of THIS month. And nobody gave HER a shower. And she looked sad. I mean, I can understand that maybe it’s up to HER mom to throw her a shower – but her family lives way downstate, and she lives HERE, and it seems that everyone who was at the shower yesterday was “family” in some way, which would all be “family” of the brother of the guest of honor, too.

I don’t know, I did say to the hostess, the soon to be grandma – “You know, I didn’t realize that sad girl is due first, otherwise, all the shit I brought today would have been going to her, instead. Your daughter isn’t due until the end of NEXT month, the other girl is due the end of THIS month.” Grandma laughed, but I really wasn’t kidding.

She did say “Oh, we were going to have a shower for her, but time just got away from me.” HUH?? Aren’t we at a fucking shower? Isn’t THIS shower like three weeks before this bitch is going to pop? I mean, the only thing different would be the name on the fucking invitations and a slight game of musical chairs so that the other chick is sitting in that seat over there with fucking balloons.

And I’m not sure about what Miss Manners would say – but why couldn’t this have been a “joint” baby shower? You know, a shower for BOTH of them? Would that have been so unacceptable? What – would everyone have to bring one extra present? What’s wrong with that?

Whatever – but I felt bad. And now I’m going to make sad girl a quilt and a sweater and some other shit. And I’ve got like three weeks to do it. Oh – and she’s having a boy, too, so even the decorations that no one had time to buy for HER shower, but managed to get for THIS shower would have been appropriate. Well, fuck em, I’ll make her some nice shit for her baby.

As soon as I get done all this OTHER crap I’m working on.

I’ve discovered needle rolls, They are cases for knitting needles. I’ve been wanting to try and make one for a long time, and I finally did. I made one this weekend. Then I made another one this morning.. They came out WONDERFUL. I’m so happy with them. I think they’ll make really nice gifts for some of my knitting friends- and who knows, I may even keep one for myself. Here are the ones I’ve finished so far.


If you knit and you’d like one – let me know. We can work something out. “Will Sew for Yarn”.

Oh – and I finished the little train sacque. I did the bias tape bind off on the collar *and* the sleeves on this one. Just to mix it up some.

I think that the cutest things about these sacques are when I can match the buttons to the fabrics. See the little train button at the neckline?? Gotta admit – that’s cute.



And I’ve started on the baby girl quilt for Val’s baby.



And I’m still working on the fair/baby sweater set.


So I have a few things to keep me busy. And three weeks before sad girl pops and I need to have some kick ass stuff done for her baby. Good thing I’m in a knitting and sewing mood.


For now.








20 Responses to “Showered”

  1. luvgabe said

    Kim, *everything* you make is cute and gorgeous.

    And it is so kind of you to make and give some of your creations to the BabyShower-less mom-to-be. Bless you!

  2. NJGill said

    OK, you’ve not been providing us with stupid newspaper clippings on a regular basis (not since April Fool’s Day), so I’m sending this site I ran across today:

    Oh, what else does the baby boy need? I will knit something, too If you’ll send me an address to send it to.

  3. Leslie said

    I promise I won’t tell anyone and I really hate to ruin your reputation but….

    You really are a good person.

    You’re also too smart and talented for the likes of Malone.

  4. kizzzy said

    Ok I am going to embarrass & humiliate myself by asking this ( this is why I don’t post much lol )
    What is “kelwar”?

  5. mclayton said

    Kim, if you would email me an address I would love to send something for the showerless Mom to be. She could have a cyber-shower from all your loyal readers!!!

  6. Scottie Rich said

    Got to be “walker”…..I hate those games. Kim, your knitting is just to die for. I hope you make some wonderful things for the sister-in-law. If I could knit i would definitely send her something special. What an insensitive grandma!!

  7. your bro said

    i knew it was (walker) too. don’t you hate that when you are at a gathering where the conversation going on around you is at a 3rd grade level but you have to be polite. just sit and nod your head. seems i get into those situations frequently. i can just picture the look on your face when she passed out what sounds like was a retard test. and yes, i agree that it is very nice of you to make something for sad looking pregnant girl. see, i too would have felt so bad in that situation. you’re awesome sis!

  8. Angi said

    Good for you! I bet Sad Girl will appreciate the things you give her more than Unenlightened Girl appreciates all the shit she got.

    I want to trade you for a needle roll. Would you like some handspun? Email me or message me on Ravelry and we’ll work out the details.


  9. Val Dalton said

    Awww how sweet the quilt is!! I feel bad for Sad Girl. It must have been hard for her to sit there and celebrate knowing she wasn’t getting a shower of her own.

    Tell the barn squatters to hold on tight we’ve got a tornado watch on for today!! Hope they dont go flying by your sewing room window. Make sure you keep your camera handy hahaha 😉

  10. Terry McCabe said

    Miss Manners would say that it is in fact inappropriate for family members to throw a shower, either bridal or baby. Showers are correctly thrown by friends of the woman, not relatives. I’m all for Mclayton’s idea of a cyber-shower. Let’s declare ourselves Sad Girl’s friends and send her some baby stuff. Kim, can we send it to you?

  11. Veronique said

    I would trade something for a needle roll. I don’t knit, but they’d be great for art brushes.


  12. Caroline said

    Forgive me – I know I must be so out of touch with the sad state of affairs that is teenage pregnancy today…Terry is correct in stating that is inappropriate for family members to throw a shower.

    BUT, even more inappropriate is for the father, who never deemed it important enough to marry his baby’s mama, TO ATTEND THE SHOWER!

    If he cannot comprehend that the most important gift he can give his future kid is a full-time, official, live-in, legal daddy who financially supports his spawn and emotionally supports his “baby mama”, there is no hope for this “family”. To sit there without shame to see what his girlfriend “scored” for this kid is so offensive.

    Your creations are beautiful as always, such a shame they were just taken for granted by the recipient. I would also like to send a baby gift to sad girl. Please let me know where I should send it.

    You have such a big heart and generous nature, you are an inspiration!

  13. marissa said

    I knew it! Nobody who can knit and sew such beauty can be as hard as she puts herself out to be (though I entirely enjoy that side of you, as well)!
    I love the needle rolls, and I do knit (currently hold the title for World’s Slowest Knitter), and would love to trade for yarn. Whattdya like?

  14. ginger said

    Kim, my daughter is having a little girl in September and she and her husband are having a shower together. I think it’s the new thing. Fathers want to be more involved, which, is a good thing.

    I love the sacks. Please let me know how much for you to sew one for me.

    Love your blog. thanks!

  15. Oh, what else does the baby boy need? I will knit something, too If you’ll send me an address to send it to.

    I can’t imagine there’s anythign the baby doesn’t need. Write me at my regular email and I’ll send you an address.

    darwinexception @ verizon . net


  16. You’re also too smart and talented for the likes of Malone.

    And you aren’t??

    I think we should build our own subdivision – and require IQ tests to live in there. We’d have very few neighbors.


  17. Kim, if you would email me an address I would love to send something for the showerless Mom to be.

    email me and I’ll send the address. I just have to find out her last name – I know the address where she’s staying.


  18. I would trade something for a needle roll. I don’t knit, but they’d be great for art brushes.

    Oh yeah!! You’re right!! They would be great for that!!

    Sned me your address.


  19. I love the needle rolls, and I do knit (currently hold the title for World’s Slowest Knitter), and would love to trade for yarn. Whattdya like?

    Yarn. I just love yarn.

    Currently, I’m thinking about htat brocade throw. I think what I’d like to do is that everyone who wants in on a chance to have it for their very own to send me a color of Red Heart super saver yarn in one of the colors the throw requires. Mostly because I can’t find a lot of colors around here, it requires like 15 colors, and Red Heart is ubiquitous – you can find it at Wal Mart and most eveyr low brow place that carries yarn – and it’s cheap. Like $2.99 a skein.

    Mail me a color, you get an entry in the raffle, then I’ll make it, put it in the fair, and someone (probably Val) will pick a name out of a hat and that person wins the throw.

    The only thing is, I don’t want it to be expensive. I’ll have to find out how much it costs to mail one skein of yarn. It may be so stupidly pricey that it would be cheaper to just go buy the yarn at my local wal mart. Red Heart shouldn’t cost $7.00 a skein with shipping, you know?

    I don’t know, I haven’t worked out all the details in my head. But I did like the idea of everyone picking out a shade or color – you know, being able to see what everyon’es idea of “the prettiest green” or “the nicest red” is – because Red Heart comes in lots of different shades of green and brown and red and orange – and I wanted to see the color combination we came up with when we were all involved.


  20. Greg Goss said

    Skill at word jumbles isn’t related to intelligence. I take whole minutes for each word. “What happens if I put this letter first, then try all the second letters and so on. Some people are just not wired to see words as a pattern of letters, and stepping back from “wordhood” means that you’re playing with combinatrics on six or more letters. I stared at “kelwar” for about thirty seconds and nothing stood out, so I went on.

    “We meant to, but time got away from us”? It’s not an excuse. It’s an admission of guilt. I use it occasionally, but it’s still pretty bad.

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