The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Stupid Fools in the News

Posted by thedarwinexception on April 1, 2008

 It’s April Fools Day! Don’t let anyone fool you!

So – no fooling – I got tired of the dishcloth and needed something soft and warm to work on, so I started a sweater for Katie’s baby. She found out she is having a boy. Katie is the teenage girl I really like who got herself knocked up. Such a shame.

But, she’s having a boy – so I started a little boy sweater. Which is a real big change for me – I never knit boys stuff. So, it’s kind of fun.

So I shall knit all day, since my “Works in Progress” list is getting rather large.

In the meantime, let’s look at some “Fools in the News”.

I’d hire her.

 

Now this woman is a fool. I’m not even sure how she managed that.

 

Fools. I’ll bet they complain that the desert is too dry, too.

 

Well, that’s not fair – everybody kind of knows he’s a fool.

 

OK – now correct me if I’m wrong – but do the Amish even *have* entertainment centers? And aren’t their entertainment centers more like butter churns?

If you buy this – you are a fool. That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

Which is weirder – that people send their vibrators in for maintenance – or that someone has a job with the title “Chief Vibrator Mechanic”?

Why would anyone do this to their cat? Do cats meow so loud you need to muzzle them?

If you are size 304 and someone has asked you to the prom – someone is playing a joke on you. And I don’t care if you *do* have a “pretty face”.

 

Lysol for “feminine hygiene”? So how did *that* work?
 

No wonder more men are getting manicures.
 

There’s some things I just don’t think we really need experts to put forth an opinion on.

Well, that *would* be entertaining.

well, I have a few questions……

 

 

Are we neutering the homeless???

 

Thank you for clearing that up..,..

 

If you believe that – you’re a fool

 

You gotta feel bad for police – you just do.

and my favorite – for obvious reasons. Fools.

 

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21 Responses to “Stupid Fools in the News”

  1. Gail said

    Thanks for the laughs!

  2. Kay said

    Thanks Kim for the entertaining start of April Fool’s Day, Two Thousand Eight! Great job in finding all the odd funny stuff.
    Wishing for you a very good and pain free day today.

    California Fan

  3. luvgabe said

    Kim:

    Check out this article on hi BP drugs in today’s news:

    “Blood Pressure Drugs Lower Heart Risk”
    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/03/31/national/a150557D45.DTL&hw=high+blood+pressure+drugs&sn=002&sc=930

  4. HT said

    Those were good. I think I liked the car driven up the guide wires the best. She and her car could get a job in a circus as a tightrope performer.

    I just finished the book “Water for Elephants” so that’s where that came from. Pretty good book.

    HT

  5. mclayton said

    You are better than Leno and Letterman, probably better looking too!!! Thanks for the laughs.

  6. Val Dalton said

    oh those are great here are a couple of April Fools Jokes Janice and I played:

    1) There is a woman named Lisa who is short, very heavy and has a mullet. She walks around town all day long. We told our UPS guy that we stopped and told her anytime she needed a ride that she could just wave to him and he would stop and take her anywhere she wanted to go. His response “Oh great so now i’m going to look like a jackass when i drive by her because I’m not legally allowed to have anyone in my truck” haha we totally had him going. Then we said april fools. HAHA

    2) We told our inspector that Mr. Lyon called for an inspection in Cooperstown. And then we gave him the number to the local cooperstown zoo. Havn’t heard yet how that converstation was. Guess he’s probably thinking of a way to get even.

  7. Niner said

    Hey Kim!!
    Glad to ‘see’ you back posting your blog!! LOVE the baby sweaters!!! So cool!
    Good wishes on your health! And yea, I’d go with the Leslie says!! LOL! saves a LOT of $$ for ya!
    Take care!

  8. Caroline said

    Happy April Fools Day!!

    Love that Garden Girl ad! I would hire her in a minute!

    Is Katie the girl that you were making the prom dress for? If so you will have to make it a “maternity prom dress” I bet if advertised your “maternity prom dressmaking” skills in the Malone nickel ads, you could make a decent living! So sad, I hope that this is an April Fools joke also.

    Hope you are feeling better and having a pain free day!

  9. NJGill said

    welcome back – take care of yourself and listen to Leslie. she sounds smarter and more concerned than your dr.

    1) that’s not even a cat they have that muzzle on – I swear it’s a terrier

    2) “From 1930 until 1960, the most popular female contraceptive was Lysol disinfectant — advertised as a feminine hygiene product in ads featuring testimonials from prominent European “doctors.” ” http://chawedrosin.wordpress.com/2007/05/16/lysol-for-feminine-hygiene/

    I sent you some info on spinning – did you get it, or did it go into your junk mail?

  10. Sandy in Colorado Springs said

    Great morning wakeup. I started recording Leno’s show recently. He has a Dollar Store segment. I want to get paid to find that stuff he gets. Shopping would be much more interesting.

    No wonder you and Val are good friends. Both with a take on life in Malone which never seems dull at your end.

    Also great to have you back and hoping for good health in the very near future. Along with hoping ZL returns.

  11. Anakerie said

    Thank you for the laughs, Kim! Those were great!!

  12. Hank said

    Muzzles are to keep an animal from biting, not to prevent noise.

    I could use one of those when I trim one of my cats claws, because he tries to bite me when I do it.

  13. Charlie Pearce said

    Val Dalton Says:
    April 1, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    “2) We told our inspector that Mr. Lyon called for an inspection in Cooperstown. And then we gave him the number to the local cooperstown zoo. Havn’t heard yet how that converstation was. Guess he’s probably thinking of a way to get even.”

    On a similar vein, somebody left a note on a colleague’s desk yesterday telling him that a C. Lyon had phoned and wanted to be called back. Guess what kind of place the given phone number was for…

  14. Kim (Canada) said

    Wow!
    I needed that! Feel so much better after that laugh…Man, some people are STUPID eh? Amazing…

    So yeah! Pinky’s 83yr old aunt broke her hip last Wed, and so we’ve been living at the hospital…Not the greatest place to be loitering around in, but I did get opportunity to celebrate “another” birthday while there…So, that was fun!

    Anyways, glad to see you’re back, up and runnin’…
    I haven’t had a chance to read the other latest post yet, but I will definately check back later so as to get caught up –

    Happy ‘belated’ April fools to all!
    Fonzie :`)

  15. DocS said

    “On a similar vein, somebody left a note on a colleague’s desk yesterday telling him that a C. Lyon had phoned and wanted to be called back. Guess what kind of place the given phone number was for…”

    That one’s so old it’s got hair on. I pulled that one almost 15 years ago, and it was an old saw then. Worked for a medical billing company, and had a collections rep calling the Baltimore Zoo to collect on a worker’s comp case for the infamous Mr. Lyon.

    The ridiculous thing is that the twinkie rep repeated that name, with increasing emphasis and aggravation, six times. She only caught on when the poor soul on the other end of the phone said “Sugar, I think someone’s playing a joke on you…”

  16. luvgabe said

    Kim:

    How’s the weather in Malone? Is the snow thawing? Can’t wait for ZL to return!

    .

    Happy Birthday, Canada Kim (Fonzie)!! Woohoo! (celebration noises)

  17. Kim (Canada) said

    Thanks Luvgabe!
    That sounded awesome!
    Much appreciated…
    THX!
    Fonzie

  18. DT said

    “Lysol for feminine hygiene? So how did *that* work?”

    First you have the man gargle with it….

  19. Matthew said

    Okay, so (per my Smelt comment) I’m from Lorain Co.!!!! I can only imagine what somebody did at the Lorain Co. Fair!!! LOL

    BTW my Dad’s Ashes are spread out there! LOL don’t tell anyone. but if anyone asks, we can always say, oh Dad.. he’s at the fair!!!!

    m.

  20. Elly said

    Your posts on the dramatic threads at Ravelry over the past few days have made me laugh out loud, and led me to your blog and this post, and now I am crying with laughter. Fab.

  21. Your posts on the dramatic threads at Ravelry over the past few days have made me laugh out loud,

    Oh my God! A fellow Raveler! How exciting!!

    And I was going to blog about “the drama” but first off, I wouldn’t know where to start, and secondly, Who the fuck would believe a knitting community scandal?

    Kim

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