Stupid Products in the News
Posted by thedarwinexception on February 13, 2008
Today is my Mother’s birthday. (Happy Birthday!). She’s a psychopath. No, seriously, she is. I’m thinking she’s what? 68 today. Too funny, since I just saw Tina Turner on the Grammy’s singing and dancing with Beyonce and they said Tina Turner was 68. My mom looks nothing like Tina Turner. But I’m betting Tina Turner can’t bake and cook like my Mom – so, there you go.
I finally got around to making the appointment for the stress test – I made the appointment yesterday and they scheduled me for Friday. Which I think is the *real* stress test – they schedule it 3 or 4 days down the road and then see if you die of stress worrying about having the stress test. It’s fucking working, too. I’m more worried about this thing than I ever was about giving birth when they scheduled my c-sections in advance. And someone in AFCA said that I’ll get another IV. So now I’m stressing out about that, too, because my arms are already all fucking black and blue from the last three IV”s they stuck in me.
I’m thinking I should take my camcorder with me and tape the whole thing. You know, in case I do have a heart attack and keel over there will be a record of what the bastards did to me. Just my luck I’ll get those nurses in training running the fucking test and you never know what they might do.
Then next Thursday I get to go to a real doctor in Burlington. I called my own doctor and he set me up with a cardiologist that he knows and recommends. So that will be fun. Probably have to do every test they did here all over again. You know how that goes.
So – in honor of my Mom’s birthday – here’s some stupid products in the news. Pick one or more of these up for your next Birthday or for your sweetie for Valentine’s day.
First off, take your mom out to dinner – and remember, nothing says “delicious Dining” like a hot dog and chips.
I don’t know – if they want to market it as “a great holiday gift” – they should have named it something else.
If you need to make sure that your toilet seat is fire retardant – maybe you need to change your diet – maybe too much “delicious dining” on hot dogs!
For that redneck handyman in your life….
Mom has been single a while – but how creepy would it be to give her this?? I don’t care how good it feels as a “gift idea”.
Life is full of hard choices
Yeah, because nothing says “I love You” like a box of chocolates and colon hydrotherapy.
Wasn’t that an 80’s hair band?
Check your labels – you never know where stuff comes from – and sometimes, neither does anyone else.
You know, I’m just not thinking that’s going to be a good look on anybody.
Well, it *is* unique – how many of your towels and t shirts are mammogramed?
Yeah, how fucking stupid is this?
When Albertson’s gets a 10 inch love pole – hey, I’m there.
…and my favorite, because really, well, this is just fun for the whole family.