The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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The Party Goers 2007

Posted by thedarwinexception on January 1, 2008

 So we attended the New Year’s Eve party last night. Paul took a nap when he got home and slept until 8:00, even though we had been told to *be* at the party at 8:00. I brought along my trusty carton of eggnog and a small bottle of Bacardi’s, which was a good thing, since most of the attendees were drinking beer – with the hardier souls chasing that with shots of Jack Daniels. Definitely not for me. The beer or the chasers.We stayed until slightly after midnight – the party seemed to wind down after the host, who was standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the hallway, chased a few too many beers with Jack Daniels. He was swaying in the doorway, talking to Paul and and some other guests, and then, like a giant tree cracked at the base by a lumberjack, he fell. Not face down into the kitchen, not backwards into the hallway, but completely sideways – driving his head right into the door jamb. BANG!!!!! It sounded like an avalanche of snow falling off the roof and hitting the pavement, and shook the dining room where I was standing talking to his wife.

I’m not sure if he was passed out and then fell or if the meeting of the head against the door jamb knocked his ass out cold, but he was sure the fuck knocked out after he fell. It took 5 minutes to make him come back around enough to ask him if he was OK, and it took Paul and two other guys to lead him to the couch and get him to a sitting position – where he promptly passed out again.

We took this as a sign that maybe the party was over.

There were some of the same faces from last year in attendance last night, and it was interesting to see the changes from one year to the next. The most striking change, of course, was Katie – the host’s daughter. I like Katie. She was one of the teenage girls I had a little hope for, since she had left her parent’s home last year when she turned 17 and moved to the big city of Plattsburgh with her boyfriend. I thought the change of scenery and different attitude there might be conducive to her getting a job, finding some interests outside of “find a man and spit out babies” and that she might even go to college or at least find a job she loved and could excel at.

Not to be.

This year she attended the party with her new boyfriend, who she also lives with in Plattsburgh. Oh – and she’s pregnant. Not that this stops her from smoking, of course, another pet peeve of mine. Don’t get me going on THAT.

The hosts other daughter, the younger and more ambitious Karissa, was also in attendance this year. Since she is now 16 it was the first year her mother sanctioned her drinking at the party (which is probably why she was there), and she took great delight in chasing her beers with Jack Daniels shots with her Dad. A true father/ daughter bonding experience.



Paul had a good time – since there was food. Every time I went to look for him he was back in the kitchen dishing out another plate of the salads, appetizers and nachos with salsa that were there.

Not to say that he didn’t do his share of chasing beers with shots. Ray, the host, made a game of it, telling both Katie and Karissa’s boyfriends that if they wanted to party with him they were going to have to keep up and keep downing the shots. Of course, he said this right up until he fell like a brick into the door jamb.



By the time we left, after the big kaboom – it was quite apparent that the 4 or 5 hours of drinking shots had taken their toll on most of the party guests. When we left there was one guest, Mike, who was refusing to get in the car with his wife for the trip home, and she was yelling at him as we walked out the door, saying that if he didn’t come now he was going to play hell getting her to come back tomorrow to get his ass. Surprisingly, he took this threat rather nonchalantly and didn’t seem to care.


But I had a good time – and I shot lots of video that I shall edit and upload today for posting. I got some good footage of the transporting of the fallen brick host over to the couch and I got some wonderful footage of the host just before the fall trying to figure out what day it was. As well as some conversations with the two daughters, when I asked them about their hopes, dreams and future plans.

Some of the footage is quite funny, since Ray was just drunk enough not to realize what he fuck a camcorder was, and every time I would point it at his he would “pose” like I was taking his picture, and when he wanted a picture of the group of guys drinking their shots together he kept telling them all to “hold still so she can take a picture”. Made me laugh.

I came back home with most of the eggnog and rum still left – for some reason drinking seemed unnecessary. I think I was the only one even halfway sober the whole night – well, except for Buddy. He was sober, too, and enjoying the spectacle almost as much as I was.



12 Responses to “The Party Goers 2007”

  1. luvgabe said

    It is discouraging to read about Katie. At the tender age of 17, when her life is really just beginning, she has chosen the path of stupidity by becoming pregnant & unmarried, and a smoker & drinker to boot. How disheartening.

    As a naturalized US citizen who came to this country as a foreign student, I’m convinced that a person has to really work at it to fail in the United States. Sad.

    Kim, it must drive you batty to live among Malonians!

    Happy New Year to you, Paul, your extremely cute fur-persons, and all the many fans of this blog!

  2. A.D.A. said

    Oh, how funny you are! What a hideous, hilarious, DISASTER of a party! (Glad Paul got lots to eat, though. 🙂 )Get the feeling that 2008 will be much like the preceding years for these folks? And the years to come will also be of a sameness? Hey, getting drunk enough to pass out sideways is a substantial milestone, a significant event, something memorable.

    You’re a like a curator of these people, Kim, a calm and informed tour guide among them. One can tell that you have a great affection for them, and I’m glad you had a good time. You really are the classic anthropologist… so calm and intelligent and quietly observant… and hilarious, too! Yet it’s all so resonantly sad.

    All the best for 2008; hoping it’ll be a year of wonder and miracles for you and Paul. Love you!

  3. skweekie said

    I think we may be related in some way. My 19 year old nephew showed up for my Christmas party with a hangover. He had been out drinking on Christmas Eve until 4 in the morning. His parents saw nothing wrong. He slept through the whole day on the couch which meant nobody else could sit down. At least he’s not pregnant.

  4. pj said

    After a long night of working, where I was surrounded by drunks, and a quick trip to the local emergency room for a slight hand injury ( never let two drunks help you put two tables together to make a bigger table)where I got to see the ther drunks who were too drunk to make it to the place I work, I had to ruch home to read about this party. i knew Kim would be able to make me laugh! I miss Malone and the whole gang of freaks in the small town. it sure beats the murderers and drug dealers here in Buffalo.

  5. Jenn said

    Well Kim, Katie’s kid is going to grow up in a house filled with smoke. She’s just trying to prep the baby for what’s to come!

    It’s unfortunate that our bodies mature faster than our brains!

  6. Caroline said

    Sounds like the party of the year, and you Kim, were the Elsa Maxwell of Malone! Can’t wait to see the video!

  7. oh my…and I thought my neighbors were a bunch of losers. Those folks in Malone take the cake!

    Wishing you and yours all things good in 2008!

    Thanks for the laughs!

    with friendship,

  8. AtwoodLady said

    Having experienced the death of my 2 1/2 yr old grandson who had excellent health care and see a “child” herself already abusing herself and her baby is difficult to see.

    This innocent baby will be born to a mother who won’t have the maturity to care.

    Sorry…..stepping down from my soap box.


    P.S. Thanks, Kim, tho, for sharing this holiday event. I have been to these kind of parties and had a neighbor’s drunken daughter pitch my BIG platter of antipasto into a campfire “thinking” no one wanted anymore…..however, we hadn’t started eating yet.

  9. Glenda said

    Well at least you could go to the party without the cloud of worry about ZL hanging over you. That part of the drama seems to have worked out OK at least for now. And many many kudos and cyber hugs to you and Paul for caring for this strange little lady who has gotten lost in the world.

    My husband and I have avoided NYEve parties for the past few years because of the obvious moniker of “amateur night”. Now I know what I’ve been missing. Perhaps we should rethink our position cuz there is a ton of fun to be seen according to your accounts.

    Happy and healthy new year to you, Kim and Paul and the rest of the crazy cast of characters. You definitely made my year better in ’07.

    PS is there someplace we can write to protest the whole revamping of CourtTV thing or just wait and see if it crashes and burns?

  10. Kim (Canada) said

    Well, you know what “they” say…

    “Disfunction breeds disfunction”

    I’m thinking you captured all the elements of exactly that with this family…

    I feel sorry for this unborn baby…I guess they’ll be able to tell him/her that “it all started with “Grand-pa”…Quite possibly even with his father or grand-father…Welcome to our vicious cycle – Now you try and do better k – Here! Let’s seal that deal with a shot of JD!”

    Sorry! Don’t get me going on this shit either…

    Well, my NYeve celebration seemed rather “tame” next to this…Pinky and I had a quiet night at home, complete with movies and chinese food delivered to the door. Gotta tell ya, it was nice waking up feeling “fine” with the added bonus of full and total re-call of the night before…Welcome 2008!

    Again, I send out my “bestest” of wishes to Kim and fellow blog-mates…

    “Heres” and “Cheers”
    …to a brand new year!

    Fonzie :~)

  11. Cathy said

    I’ve attended parties like that in Hicksville South Monterey County in California. Though I can’t remember any preggers teenaged daughters in attendance at any of ’em …

    The hangovers were too painful and after 10 years or so, I started going to bed New Year’s Eve. Lots less pain the next day.

    I saw ZL’s twin in San Jose! Poor gal must have thought I was nuts, giggling like an idiot as I walked by her. Perhaps there’s one in each city?

    Thanks for the memories, Kim. At least you had fun with the people watching!


    P.S. LOVED the Dale Earnhardt jacket and hat. Stylish NASCAR-branded apparel is always a nice touch when one is dressing up for a par-tay! NOT!!!

  12. poplife said

    I get the impression that some might not get the subtle affection Kim writes with, about her observances. She’s not judgemental, but factual w/ a bit of satire. Sounds like a fun party to me. I also stayed sober this year, for the first time in about 17 years, it felt great to wake up w/o a hangover!
    Happy New Year, Kim!

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