Now If VAL were my sister, this wouldn’t happen…..

So I called the post office this morning. After obsessing about the package that was going to my mother’s house all weekend. They opened at 8:00 and at 8:02 I was on the phone.

I explained the whole situation to the guy who answered, and asked him what the hell could be the problem. He put me on hold, then came back not 4 minutes later and said “OK – I have the package in front of me – I don’t know why it was marked undeliverable.” I said to him “Well, can you bring it to my mother’s house please?” And he promised me on Rudolph’s life that it would be delivered today.

So there you go. Let’s see if it gets there.

And now I have decided to obsess over my niece. This is my youngest niece. Her name is Christian.

This Christmas she will be alone, with no family and being shuttled between her day care workers, who are rotating taking her home each night from the day care. Her mother, my sister, has landed herself in hot water again, and is spending Christmas in jail. Christian’s father is doing the same – at a different jail. And Christian is alone without family.

I really wanted to go and get her a month ago when all this started and my sister got picked up, but between being sick, and having limited resources to deal with a child and given that areas of my house are still pretty much a “construction zone”, I just didn’t think I could take her. Although it killed me that she has basically lost her parents, her home and all the things that mean anything to her. But with the wise counsel of dear friends, I got over the GUILT I was feeling at not going to get the kid, and just let it go as something else that was absolutely horrible, but not something that I am in a position to do much about. If it was 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago, maybe I could step in and take responsibility, but at this point, I just can’t. Despite the guilt I feel over it.

And I haven’t had any contact with my sister. My brother Gary has been trying to keep up with what is going on, and keep up with my sister’s court appearances and her apartment and everything in it – which she is going to lose any minute – and keep up with Christian and where she’s at, and trying to avoid the kid being put in state’s custody, but it’s not easy when you have limited information and no one will actually “release” any information. And by the way, KUDOS to Gary, who is FINALLY getting HIS life back on track and is doing really well. I’m proud of him. He checks in here and leaves comments every once in a while, so next time he does, give him a pat on the back.

So my sister’s next court date is January 26th. By then the landlord will have surely put her shit out on the curb, so she will no longer have any stuff or an apartment, and the kid will probably be in state’s custody, and my sister will get out of jail and have to start all over – the stress of which will surely throw her back into her depressive, manic state and she’ll have more reasons to use drugs – which got her into all this shit to begin with.

I’m not worried about my sister – I’m actually thinking jail is a reasonable alternative to rehab – which she was always on her way to “next week”, and I’m not even worried about her apartment or her stuff – which was mostly “rent to own” overpriced under quality junk, anyway, what she hadn’t already sold for drug money, anyway, and I’m sure Gary will intervene to get any family pictures and personal crap, what I am worried about is the kid – who had no role in any of this and doesn’t deserve to take the brunt of the fallout from it all. But she probably will. Which is a fucking shame. And no, I won’t go into my rant about why in the hell people have kids they don’t want to fucking take care of or be responsible for, and no, I won’t go into my rant about personal responsibility and learning to be UNSELFISH when you have kids and be willing to PUT THEIR NEEDS FIRST. And I won’t even go into my rant about young women who have kids as a means of support. Only because it’s Christmas, and it’s a time for joy and happiness and making sure that your 3 year old is rotated around to the BEST day care worker, since it’s CHRISTMAS FUCKING EVE and all, and really, shouldn’t THAT be the overwhelming priority?

Oh don’t get me fucking going.