APS Visits the Zombie Lady
Posted by thedarwinexception on November 15, 2007
So, not doing much here – sewing, I’ve been sewing a lot. I’m still making things for my friends little boy, who just had a birthday at the end of last month. So far I have made a sweat suit, a little shirt, a pair of overalls and a duckie bathrobe. I want to make one more thing – a sleeper. I’ll post pictures of everything if I ever get my computer back.
I called the computer guy this morning. Nope, it’s not done yet. He’s had the computer over a week. Want to lay odds he hasn’t even looked t it yet? I fucking hate my computer acting up. Only because I don’t have the shit anymore to fix it myself. I just need to find a faster computer guy who knows as much as this guy. I’m not sure if the two are compatible, though, I think you either get someone who is really fast or someone who is really knowledgeable. And I’m not sure which is more desirable.
Oh – and before I forget, the countdown is on!! Don’t forget! Next Friday is the BIG FLANNEL SALE at Joanns. Be there – and be there early. 99 Cents a yard for flannel prints and solids. Best day of the year. I think this is the only day I actually leave notes for Paul to wake me up when he gets up. The sale starts at 6 am. You know, like Paul doesn’t normally wake me up anyway. Tell me, why is it fucking imperative that the guy put his fucking clonking clunking fucking heavy workboots on – and THEN have to clomp up and down the fucking stairs? Is that like fucking necessary?
And OK – I’ve decided to invite the zombie lady over for Thanksgiving. Not only because of the entertainment value, but because now I feel sorry for her again. They finally sent someone out from Adult Protective Services to talk to her!! And I got to listen!! Thank God zombie lady doesn’t open her door to anyone! That’s all I got to say – because the lady had to yell the questions she was asking to zombie lady, and I had just enough time to crack open the bedroom window so I could hear.
APS asked her if she had electricity yet and zombie lady said no, then APS lady said – “Well, it’s going to get cold you know. See? It snowed last night, and it’s going to snow more.” Zombie lady said “I am going to Moscow when it gets cold.”
APS Lady then asked if zombie lady knew what day of the week it was, what month it was and what year it was. Zombie lady said “2007” and APS lady asked again “What day of the week and what month?” And Zombie lady said “I am not sure – I have no need for this, no?” Which is fair, I mean, it’s not like she has to make sure she catches “Dancing with The Stars” or anything, which is really the only reason I need to know what day of the week it is – to make sure I know what’s on TV that night.
APS Lady was very, very nice – asked zombie lady if she had a phone (no), if she had food in the house (meow) asked if she had warm clothing and blankets (I didn’t quite catch how zombie lady responded to this), and asked if there was anything APS lady could do for her today. (Zombie lady said no).
And APS lady must have either smelled gas or was going off previous reports to their office about the gas grill, because she tried to explain to zombie lady how dangerous it was to have a gas grill inside and that she needed to have the area well ventilated if she was going to use it inside, which might just be counter effective to having the gas grill inside at all. She also asked zombie lady when she was headed to Moscow – which was kind of funny to me, since zombie lady had just got done saying she didn’t know what day or month it was. What was APS lady expecting her to say “Ummm…Next Tuesday – of course, I don’t know when quite the fuck that is, but…”
But APS lady asked if she could come back and check on zombie lady again. She asked if zombie lady wanted her phone number (zombie lady said no – because, you know, she DID just say she didn’t have a phone), and APS lady thanked her and then she left – oh, and she also asked what zombie lady’s full name was, and zombie lady said “You can say to me Natasha”. Which, for some reason, made me giggle.
But, I have decided that I shall invite her over. I’ll try to teach her social skills at the same time and tell her “Look, just because I am inviting you over for this SPECIAL OCCASION, that doesn’t mean that you can knock on my door umpteen fucking times a day. Don’t do it, or I shall be forced to yell at you again.”
But, I figure it will be good fodder for the blog if she comes over, and besides, I REALLY want to get a good picture of her, and this will be a way to do it without looking suspicious. I mean, I can say *anything* is a Thanksgiving tradition – “Oh, we always take pictures on Thanksgiving!”, “Oh, we always eat cat food straight from the can on Thanksgiving – show us how you do it – and SMILE!”
Should be fun.
And “You can say Kim to me.” God, I love that.