The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Don’t Be a Pig

Posted by thedarwinexception on November 3, 2007

There’s a real reason why your mother always told you to A.) Don’t touch other people’s stuff, and B.) Don’t be a fucking pig. Because when you touch other people’s stuff and you act like a pig, bad things happen.

Last week Milo had a cold. He was coughing, sounded like kennel cough to me, but it wasn’t that – it was just a cold. I took him to the vet, and the vet told me to give him Robitussin DM (just like a kid!) and not to keep him outside too long where he would get chilled.

Since Holly needed shots, she went to the vet with Milo (get it all done in one trip – that’s my thinking), and she was diagnosed with hookworms (ewwww….). The vet said that lots of dogs are born with them, and most dogs will have their “first worming” shortly after they are born. Now, you know Holly never went to a vet in her life until she came to stay with us, so it was most likely never done on her. No big deal, just mix this powdered stuff into her food, oh, and here’s a packet for Milo and Brew, too, because they are catchy from one dog to another. Ok, no big deal.

Friday I mixed the powder into Holly’s bowl, poured a little hot gravy on the food to stir the powder in, and she gobbled it down. Put some powder on Brew’s food, pour on some gravy – he gobbles it down. Milo, of course, doesn’t eat dog food. So I opened a can of Swanson’s chicken breast, poured the powder on the chicken mixed it all up and gave him the can, He took about 3 bites, but since he doesn’t like “non warmed up” food, and there were no humans eating, Milo wasn’t into eating, either. So I took the can, telling him “OK, I can’t leave this out – Brew will eat it you know, Mommy will put it in the fridge and warm it up for you at suppertime, Kay?” Milo seemed agreeable so I put it in the fridge in one of those ziplock bags that you can write on, putting MILO across the frosted white panel that they have for identifying the contents of the bag.

Paul comes home after work and he’s downstairs bopping around and 20 minutes or so later he comes upstairs. He’s sitting on the couch and finally I look over when I realize he’s feeding Milo something. I want to tell him “Don’t feed Milo, I have some stuff for him in the fridge and he needs to eat that because his medicine is mixed in with it…” When I notice Paul is feeding Milo pieces of sandwiches.

I get up and as I am going into the TV room I say “Paul! What is that?? I hope that’s not the chicken from the fridge!!!” Paul says “Yeah, why?? I didn’t ask you to make it for me – I did it myself…” So I yell ‘DIDN’T YOU SEE THAT IT SAID MILO ON IT? IT HAS THE WORM MEDICINE IN IT!”

He says “Awww, fuck! Why didn’t you tell me? I just ate 5 sandwiches!”

And I said “Good!!! Be a pig!! That’s what you get. The fucking bag said Milo on it – don’t touch shit that isn’t yours.”

So I called the vet to ask him if this worm medicine shit is safe for humans because Paul just ate a whole packet of it and when he stopped laughing he said no. But if Paul is losing weight from some intestinal parasite, well, that problem should be cleared right up.


9 Responses to “Don’t Be a Pig”

  1. Kim (Canada) said

    I’m with you on that one…

    “A.) Don’t touch other people’s stuff, and B.) Don’t be a fucking pig. Because when you touch other people’s stuff and you act like a pig, bad things happen.”

    And there, right there, is WHY! LOL!

    Fonzie :~)

  2. Holy Toledo said

    Geez, I hope it doesn’t kill his big worm. 🙂 Sorry, just couldn’t resist.


  3. Sprocket said

    LOL! I am so sorry, but, I am rolling here!

    Let me tell you, we have a similar situation in our house, all the time, lol!

  4. Rick B. said

    I knew where this was going at “Paul comes home after work…” Hey, who needs Hollywood writers when real life is a sitcom?

  5. ROTFL!!!! That was Paul gets for being a glutton!!!

    too funny!

  6. Val Dalton said

    OMG that is great! Tell him at least my cookies are safe no worming medicine in them. I do have a recipe for dog cookies , if he cares to try them LOL 🙂

  7. Lisa Ann said

    But at least he didn’t give himself a concussion.

    Lisa Ann

  8. PJB(UK) said

    Somebody tell me: why do I *believe* the stuff Kim posts?

    Damned if I know.

  9. Somebody tell me: why do I *believe* the stuff Kim posts?

    Hell, I don’t even fucking believe it.

    But you just can’t make this shit up. Really.


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