The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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I Learned it in AFCA 08/10/07 – 08/16/07

Posted by thedarwinexception on October 24, 2007

I have decided I shall probably never be caught up in AFCA – those people are too chatty. Right now my unread post count stands at 28,775. Yeah, right….

YOU WILL LEARN STUFF HERE

NOTAR, an acronym for NO TAil Rotor, is a relatively new helicopter anti-torque system (see the helicopter article for more details} developed by McDonnell Douglas Helicopter Systems which eliminates the use of the tail rotor on a helicopter, yielding quieter and safer operation.

Conway Twitty died June 5, 1993 in Springfield Missouri at Cox South Hospital from an abdominal aneurysm.

The “Hairy ear gene on the Y chromosome” hypothesis has failed to withstand a good combing over.

decapitated snake heads are dangerous for between 20 and 60 minutes after removal from the body of the snake.

In the PC and XT era, there were lots of games that ran as fast as the program could run and gameplay was normal.  Double the speed of the computer and you doubled the speed of the gameplay to “Impossible”. So when computers jumped from 4.77 MHz to 8 MHz, a lot of them included a button to slow the system down to 4.77 to play these badly written games.

JFK was the first President to join the Mile High Club on AF1.

Emmer wheat (Triticum dicoccon), also known as farro especially in Italy, is a low yielding, awned wheat. It was one of the first crops domesticated in the Near East. It was widely cultivated in the ancient world, but is now a relict crop in mountainous regions of
Europe and Asia.

Humans have seasonal patterns of hair growth, with growth peaking in summer (mean of about 78 mg/day of beard) and being shed in autumn, with lowest growth in winter (around 50 mg/day). In contrast, thigh hair shows a biannual pattern of grrowth peaks. Apparently, summer peaks of semen volume, sperm count and mobility have also been
reported.

In most, if not all (I don’t remember), smaller marsupials the female has two uterii, and the male a bifurcated penis, each branch getting a uterus to itself.  Presumably, each uterus has one ovary, and the conjoining of the two uteruses evolved along with the placental womb, which retains the twin ovaries.

The Coanda Effect is the effect of fluid flow adhering to whatever it’s flowing over.  It got the name when the exhaust from Coanda’s not-quite-jet engine adhered to the fuselage of his airplane and set it on fire despite the metal covering installed to prevent that from
happening.

STUFF THAT MADE ME LAUGH

He subconsciously wants us to believe that he made the earth move for thousands of people.

What’s that got to do with anything?  Nothing you’ve said adds to a knowledge base.

The God of Peeps is a squishy god.

They thought Jasshole was too rude.

You’re just saying that because it’s subjective.

Promise her anything; she wants to kiss your rock thing!

If I had a month to live, I’d spend some of the time setting up a rig to make sure my nose hit the “send” key when I finally keeled over and died.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la LA, la-la-la-la-la

GUESS THE AFCA’N

I can do a neat party trick where I emulate the stomach-busting scene in Alien. Up to the busting point, that is.

I’m very careful about whose pockets I place my coins in.

I’ll look into martyrdom when you can guarantee 72 Danish hookers!

I’m amazed that 280 people took the time to say that, on average, I suck.

I prefer to give my business to gramatically correct pizza joints.

it wasn’t about sex, so I didn’t read it.

I know that after lying around for weeks with nothing to read but books about Jesus and saints I’d be finding knotholes starting to look just a little sexy.

I’m a Yorkshireperson by injection.

I’ve always been good at procrastinating but it seems I’ve raised it to an art form.

MOTTO’s

Most of us figure that working in Advertizing is pretty much like being a prostitute except not quite as honest. But with a better medical plan.

“This is my body.  Take; eat; I has a flavor.”

What d’you mean, that’s a boring response? It’s got TRUTH, dammit!!!
 
 If I buy it, it’s personal preference. If you buy it, it’s rampant consumerism.
 
 it’s your openings you gotta worry about.

You can’t just disappear from AFCA for 6 weeks and then come back expecting everyone
to accept you.

AFCAN ADVICE

it’s very lonely to be screwing a dead-ass woman.

Don’t hide your light under a Malone bushel; Malone bushels only hold about a pint.

It’s also prudent to keep an extra million dollars or so in the checking account – just in case.

Next time you get bored with your life just give me a call and I’ll come ’round and kill you.

INNOCENT QUERIES

Do you have little nodules of extra-goodness embedded in you, too?

Are you coming too soon?

So, are you claiming this as your “Cower, Cheese heads” subject?
So you have ejectile dysfunction?

You’re an iformation slut aren’t you?

You ain’t got many virgins in your’e locality, eh?

SIMPLE TRUTHS

The male ape doesn’t need to be consistent when slinging insults.

“sucks green donkey dick” makes some sense as an insult, but it’s nothing without the green donkey.

IE is a digital slut — it’ll do anything anybody asks.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together……but I’ll still have to register to see a NY Times article.

THE DOCTOR IS IN….5 CENTS

Your standards start out rigid, then become more flexible, and then become downright flaccid.  Soon, they may retract into the abdominal cavity altogether.

Those are pubic hairs that migrated to the wrong place during your embryonic stage.
.
HEADLINE OF THE WEEK

“Lisa is fucking a new guy and Beaver got a mention in TV Guide.”

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One Response to “I Learned it in AFCA 08/10/07 – 08/16/07”

  1. Sprocket said

    I loved the “Headline of the Week.”

    All the news I needed, lol!

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