The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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I Learned it in AFCA 08/03/07- 08/09/07

Posted by thedarwinexception on October 15, 2007

YOU WILL LEARN STUFF HERE

Kool-Aid was invented by a Gerard and Edwin Perkins in Hastings, Nebraska. Its predecessor was a liquid concentrate called Fruit Smack. To reduce shipping costs, in 1927, Perkins discovered a way to remove the liquid from Fruit Smack, leaving only a powder. This powder was named Kool-Ade (and a few years later, it was renamed ‘Kool-Aid’ due to a change in government regulations regarding the need for fruit juice in products using the term “Ade”).

There was a limit to the Supreme Court’s tolerance of discrimination against margarine. A handful of states weren’t satisfied to merely ban yellow margarine, they wanted to force the spread to be another, more unappetizing hue. While some legislators suggested dying margarine red or black, five states ultimately passed laws requiring that all margarine be dyed pink. It’s suspected that pink was chosen because a cow that is ill with mastitis will give pink milk. The Supreme Court finally drew the line in 1898, striking down New Hampshire’s pink margarine law.

“The presidential call sign was established for security purposes during the administration of Dwight D. Eisenhower. The change stemmed from a 1953 incident where an Eastern Airlines commercial flight (8610) had the same call sign as a flight the president was on (Air Force 8610). The planes accidentally entered the same airspace, and after the incident the unique call sign “Air Force One” was introduced for the presidential aircraft.”

The bagel is a bread product traditionally made of yeasted wheat dough in the form of a roughly hand-sized ring which is boiled in water and then baked. The result is a dense, chewy, doughy interior with a browned and sometimes crisp exterior. Bagels are often topped with seeds baked onto the outer crust with the most traditional being poppy or sesame seeds.

The melody of “Happy Birthday to You” was written by American sisters Patty Hill and Mildred J. Hill in 1893 when they were school teachers in Louisville, Kentucky. Of the two co-writers of the melody, Patty Hill’s life determines the length of copyright as she died decades after her sister in 1946.

There is no Air Mail from the U.S. any more.

 Trichina worms live in the dirt. At one time, pigs ran free and contracted the worms from the dirt. Nowadays, commercial hog farms raise their animals in huge barns with concrete floors, so there is not much chance of trichinosis. Hogs still raised “free range” would still present a risk.

Hot Rod Lincoln was recorded as an answer song in 1955. It was written by Charlie Ryan (who had also recorded a version of Hot Rod Race) and W. S. Stevenson. It was first recorded by Ryan, recording as Charlie Ryan and The Livingston Brothers. It begins, “You heard the story of the hot rod race, where the Fords and Mercurys were setting the pace…I was the kid in the Model A.” The 1959 version, on 4 Star, as Charlie Ryan and The Timberline Riders, is probably better known. The version that may be considered most popular is Johnny Bond’s 1960 hit on Republic Records. Bond’s Lincoln has eight cylinders (“and uses them all”) rather than the 12 cylinders pulling Ryan’s Model A. Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen’s may be the best known version today. It was released in 1972 and went to #9 on the Billboard charts. Cody’s version is essentially true to the original–with only minor changes.

 A man who became the subject of a book called “The Radioactive Boy Scout” after trying to build a nuclear reactor in a shed as a teenager has been charged with stealing 16 smoke detectors. Police say it was a possible effort to experiment with radioactive materials…

unlike nearly all other primates, human females do not display clear, physical signs of ovulation. This could have plausibly resulted in human males evolving to respond to more subtle signs of ovulation. During ovulation, the increased estrogen present in the female body results in a slight swelling of the breasts, which then males could have evolved to find attractive. In response, there would be evolutionary pressures that would favor females with more swollen breasts who would, in a manner of speaking, appear to males to be the most likely to be ovulating.”

Surveys indicate that consumers lose $1 billion to $2.5 billion each year because of scanner pricing errors. While many states and municipalities have enforcement officers who go to stores to check the accuracy between stated prices and what rings up at the register, it’s up to consumers to reconcile receipts as soon as they get them.

Teddy Roosevelt was the first president to fly in an airplane, but he did it after leaving office.

STUFF THAT MADE ME LAUGH

Edna Hill was noted for her boundless enthusiasm to try and bring culture and fame to the Franklin County, New York area. Through her tireless efforts, the Redneck Games came to Malone, New York, and she is often called “The Mother of the Redneck Games”. Each year, awards are given at the fair in various categories to the women who best exemplify this spirit.

Maybe they could be forced to wear a large red “A”, for alcohol.

Brides are SUPPOSED to quiver when you take the covering off.

You misspelled “kiss” – and you’re STILL delusional.

GUESS THE AFCA’N

I’ve been offered a job as test pilot in a whorehouse.

I guess when they come after those who use Clairol Hydrience Light Golden Blonde Sunrise Hair Color, I might have to leave town.

Before I discovered Smirnoff vodka I thought cunnilingus was an Irish airline.

Oh, and those wonderful memories – especially of the dysentery and puking through the scared valley of the Inca.

Prior to the internet, I only knew “plonk” as a cheap red wine.

I am not turning down opportunities to meet any women at this point.

I’ve always thought the idea was silly, but I’ve been wrong before.

MOTTO’s

Got probed and didn’t even get any pictures to show for it.

But I’ve got afca to keep my brain all warm and fuzzy.

I don’t know whether to laugh or giggle.

For whatever it is worth, I have a sincere, heartfelt mild interest in the answer.

I won’t go out swinging a dead raccoon here and claiming “It’s a witch! It’s a witch!”

AFCAN ADVICE

If a bush has burning sensations, then it’s a good idea to keep your dick well away from it.

The only foodstuff that should be thrown at people is pudding, and the people should be naked when that happens.

Be thankful you are not a lesbian living in San Francisco.

If you can afford brunch, you can afford your own apartment.

You can use shaving cream as hair gel, but you can’t use hair gel as shaving cream.

INNOCENT QUERIES

What — you want a blowjob, too?

I have a pair in my bag.  Does that count for anything?

How does one poison a peter?

What gives you the qualifications to determine whether or not I’m generally ignorant?

Do you have an extra ramrod I can borrow?

How bad is it when you can’t even write bad porn?

SIMPLE TRUTHS

Cricket doesn’t have rules, it has Laws.

BAND NAMES

Alien Dick

BELIEVE IT OR DON’T

Recent testing by America’s Test Kitchens showed that artificial alligator flavoring tastes more alligatory than actual alligator.

It’s because driving on the left side of the road uses the right side of your brain, which is that same side used for processing art, including literature. Here in the US, we use the left side of our brain while driving, so there’s no conflict, unless we try logic puzzles, or structural engineering, or stuff like that.

NOW SHOWING ON THE AFCA CHANNEL

“Harry Potter and the Grassy Knoll”

 

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2 Responses to “I Learned it in AFCA 08/03/07- 08/09/07”

  1. Cracking up at the PINK margarine law~~~

  2. D.F. Manno said

    Kim, I like your summary more than that other one. I make yours more often.

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