The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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I Learned it in AFCA 07/27/07 – 08/02/07

Posted by thedarwinexception on October 9, 2007

YOU WILL LEARN STUFF HERE

In Colorado, the water that falls on, flows on or flows under your property probably belongs to someone else.  Well permits protect the property rights of people who actually own the water that is on your property.  To get a well permit, you have to apply to the Colorado Division of Water Resources.

due to the changes in the chinese economy, more chinese females boobs are getting bigger as they are eating more than usual.  so, current bra size being sold to these ladies are too small…

The word forte, coming from French fort, should properly be pronounced with one syllable, like the English word fort. Common usage, however, prefers the two-syllable pronunciation, (fôr’ta-‘), which has been influenced possibly by the music term forte borrowed from Italian.

“Chrysler introduced a modern Hemi in 2003. This engine is not a true hemispherical head engine; it has a polyspherical combustion chamber, but retains the Hemi’s traditional inline perpendicular valves.”

“The study results confirmed that consumption of meat – particularly beef, pork and lamb – significantly increases the risk of gout and that consumption of all types of seafood tended to carry an even higher risk.

STUFF THAT MADE ME LAUGH

Wow.  That’s as big as my dialup connection.

Moth balls must be pretty microscopic, or they’d weigh down the moth.

The good thing about pants is that if I remember to put them on once, they kind of follow me around all day long.

I just hope they don’t need to sell cocaine to finance the company.

Your dismissive wave of the hand does nothing to reduce the strawosity of your construction.

GUESS THE AFCA’N

My only requirement for breasts is that a woman have them.

Consumer Reports:  “A normal sized person cannot possibly drive this truck.”  I didn’t let that bother me.  I’m not even close to “normal sized”.

I’m uniquer than you.

Every time I eat crickets they come right back up.

I’m not having an affair, so I can’t comment on that.

I’m currently unable to dangle anyone out of the window, my tendonitis is acting up.

I remember Demerol from my appendectomy in about ’72. I floated four inches off the bed and fell in love with several nurses.

I pretty much only wear a ball cap while driving

We took the llamas in a VW bus to Reno to hang out at a llama show. That was about the high point.

MOTTO’s

Sometimes you just *know* that the bozo who posted is never going to be in the same neighborhood as a clue.

AFCA first. Breakfast later.

Fox News: We report; you collide

I thought I remembered reading it somewhere.

I had the same thought, but with better grammar.

I could enlighten you on this, but to be enlightened about the dark is to endarken all that is light.

AFCAN ADVICE

You really shouldn’t listen to these voices you are hearing.

You seem to have misplaced your wild boar.  No wonder it’s angry.

INNOCENT QUERIES

Is it wearing Milk-Bone underpants?

Does this mean I should stop eating bras?

Why should I answer a really stupid question?

So how come Google Groups ONLY works for the guy who despises it?

You want a gig in a fig?

So can ground water be contaminated by chickens?

Would you like to disprove any other assertions that no one has made?

Moore, Gore, what’s the difference?

SIMPLE TRUTHS

In the Stone Age, everyone was a geologist.

THE DOCTOR IS IN….5 CENTS

You have what is called a ‘shorty’.

I think you are stuffed with more shit than a Thanksgiving turkey.

BAND NAMES

Radial Velocities In The Zodiacal Dust Cloud

recreational Limericks

Bier Keller

BELIEVE IT OR DON’T

The bra size system was developed in the late 1920s, at a time when many women had grown up on a farm doing some heavy duty chores.  The result of this difficult manual labor was that many woman developed two different sized breasts.  Vandelay Industries, a New York company, measured these oddly-breasted women during their attempt to formulate bra sizes, and the double letter size was their attempt at accomodating the unusual pairs.  It started to show some success at arriving at a standard for odd breast sizes (A= big, AA=not so big, etc.) until it was realized that the whole system fell apart because of left-handed woman; everything became reversed and a different set of sizes were needed.  Vandelay gave up, made each bra cup the same size, and kept the unfinished and imperfect size designations.

christening a ship goes back to the days when people believed in gods, and when a ship was launched a child was beaten to death on the hull of a ship as a sacrifice to appease the
sea god.

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11 Responses to “I Learned it in AFCA 07/27/07 – 08/02/07”

  1. Kim (Canada) said

    Thanks for that…
    I now feel that much “smarter” carrying out the rest of my day!

    Cheers! Have a good one!
    (“3” more sleeps b’4 the Big Day eh?)

    Fonzie

  2. Holy Toledo said

    I mailed your BD card today. It is so stupid I almost regret sending it.

    Haven’t you finished the Friedman book yet? And are you still craving KFC? Just wondering….

    OK, one last question. Have the leaves turned there yet?

    HT

  3. Sprocket said

    I thought I remembered reading it somewhere.

    LOL! This is me. 😀

  4. Lady Di said

    Kim, what is AFCA??? I now realize is it not what I thought…..I was confused with the ACFA … the American Cat Fanciers Assn. I do love cats and assumed you did too. Please enlighten me. Thanks

  5. I mailed your BD card today. It is so stupid I almost regret sending it.

    Oh shut up – you know I’ll love it!

    Haven’t you finished the Friedman book yet

    Yes, I’m trying to finish the Bugliosi JFK book – but that thing is like 2500 pages long, I shit you not. AND it comes with more stuff on a CD. I’ll never finish this book – never.

    I need to update that sidebar, though. I get ya. But I am still craving KFC. I am always craving KFC.

    Have the leaves turned there yet?

    I don’t know. I don’t pay attention to such things. I am not a leaf peeper or even a leaf appreciater. I don’t go for long rides “enjoying the scenery”. I don’t walk on the beach or sit and watch sunsets. Those things bore me. I mean, if you want some yellow or orange leaves, I can probably pick some out of the backyard and mail them to you, but I wouldn’t notice the color of them unless I made it a point to look.

    Kim

  6. Kim, what is AFCA??? I now realize is it not what I thought…..I was confused with the ACFA … the American Cat Fanciers Assn. I do love cats and assumed you did too.

    LOL – Cat fanciers.

    No, AFCA is an obscure newsgroup called Alt.fan.cecil-adams. You are welcome to join us over there – if your isp has newsgroups and you have a newsreader like Outlook Express, you have everything you need.

    You can also access the group through Google Groups, although then Blinky wont’ see your posts – which some would say is a GOOD thing.

    Cecil Adams was the author of those “Straight Dope” newspaper columns, and AFCA is an extension of that, a bunch of really smart people gathered together to answer questions on every subject you can imagine. I’ve been hanging out there for years, hoping some of the brilliance would rub off – no such luck yet, although I have met some of the greatest people in the world, people who are as close to me as family.

    And really, come on over and check it out. They are really nice and welcoming to newcomers, and sooner or later you’ll learn the “in jokes” and recurring themes and the shorthand sort of language that goes on. And you are guaranteed to laugh your ass off.

    Kim

  7. Holy Toledo said

    Most of the time if someone tells me to shut up, I’d be offended but when you said it I laughed. Yeah, you probably will love the card.

    I’m not exactly a leaf peeper but I do love autumn or is it caramel apples? I got this sweet tooth going this evening and went to my corner grocery store that has a bakery too. I saw a carrot cake but passed on that but thought of you. Then I decided to make apple crisp. It was pretty yummy.

    Leaf peeper sounds obscene.

    HT

  8. coco said

    Kim! OMG!!!

    Imagine my surprise this morning when I opened the Houston Chronicle and inside the front page is a story titled: “If you like it in Malone, you’ll love it in New England”…

    then the story precedes as follows:
    “A graphic goof on signs welcoming travelers has an upstate New York community facing an identity crisis. That’s because the ‘Welcome to Malone’ signs feature a bucolic image of the New England countryside, not northern New York. The image was chosen by a committee after a contest that included local schoolchildren and arts groups. It’s not clear how the photo, available on the Internet, slipped into the competition.”

    Yikes! Gotta love Malone! You guys are famous now (or is that infamous?)

    lmao

  9. Charlie Pearce said

    Blimey, you *are* behind, Kim! I’m up to 9,606 unread messages and thought that was bad, but you’re quoting things from the beginning of August…

  10. I’m up to 9,606 unread messages and thought that was bad

    HA! I will see your 9606 and raise you to 27379. That’s how many *I* have unread.

    I am considering killfiling the lot of you until I catch up.

    Kim

  11. Holy Toledo said

    JMJ, be careful what you pray for….

    There you were, lonely, isolated, unstimulated mentally in Malone…no bookstore, no dog groomer, no gormet restaurant, no Norway yarn…. but now you have 27379 unread messages…

    I haven’t had that many messages in the lifetime of my 3 computers. I might have sent you two which you can delete for sure.

    Oh, and Happy Birthday. Did you get my card? Wasn’t the sticker on the back about the tackiest thing you’ve every seen? I thought it just fit perfectly with the card.

    HT JMJ=Jesus, Mary, Joseph (a Catholic thing)

    PS: I’m going to see “Menopause” tonight.

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