The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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I Learned it in AFCA 07/06/07 – 07/13/07

Posted by thedarwinexception on September 1, 2007

YOU WILL LEARN STUFF HERE
What appears to be a half-squid, half-octopus specimen found off Keahole Point on the Big Island remains unidentified today and could possibly be a new species, said local biologists.

ClariFloc is a brand of coagulant made for municipal sewer plants to attract turds.

U.S. government scientists determined in the 1950s that the Mississippi River was starting to switch to the Atchafalaya River channel because of its much steeper path to the Gulf of Mexico, and eventually the Atchafalaya River would capture the Mississippi River and become its main channel to the Gulf of Mexico, which would leave New Orleans on a side channel. As a result, the U.S. Congress authorized a project called the Old River Control Structure, which has prevented the Mississippi River from leaving its current channel that drains into the Gulf via New Orleans. Because of the large scale of high energy water flow through the Old River Control Structure threatening to damage the structure, an auxiliary flow control station was built adjacent to the standing control station. This US$300 million project was completed in 1986 by the Army Corps Of Engineers.

Liquid nitrogen has a significantly lower boiling point, at -196 °C (77 K) than oxygen’s -183 °C(90 K), and vessels containing liquid nitrogen can condense oxygen from air: when most of the nitrogen has evaporated from such a vessel there is a risk that liquid oxygen remaining can react violently with organic material. Conversely, liquid nitrogen or liquid air can be oxygen-enriched by letting it stand in open air; atmospheric oxygen dissolves in it, while nitrogen evaporates preferentially.

“On the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Quotient scale, the low-end was classified thusly:
IQ Range Classification
70-80 Borderline deficiency
50-69 Moron
20-49 Imbecile
below 20 Idiot”

Aristotle Onassis upholstered his bar stools with whale scrotums.

To tell what kind of bear is chasing you, climb a tree.
If the bear climbs up the tree after you, it’s a black bear.
If the bear rips out the tree by its roots, it’s a grizzly bear.
If there are no trees, you’re in the arctic tundra and it’s a polar bear.

“In humans brucellosis can cause a range of symptoms that are similar to the flu and may include fever, sweats, headaches, back pains, and physical weakness. Severe infections of the central nervous systems or lining of the heart may occur. Brucellosis can also cause long-lasting or chronic symptoms that include recurrent fevers, joint pain, and fatigue. The most common way to be infected is by eating or drinking contaminated milk products.”

King Victor Emmanuel II of Italy [the first to rule over a unified Italy] gave his mistresses his toenail clippings framed in gold and studded with diamonds.

“How Worn: Females may carry and use an umbrella, only during inclement weather, when wearing the service (class A or B), dress and mess uniforms. Umbrellas are not authorized in formations or when wearing field or utility uniforms.”

The City of Keizer is taking heat for installing a group of cement posts designed to protect pedestrians from cars, but which some say is a phallic symbol.

Pliny the Elder ate two owl eggs to cure hangover:

Tokyo Rose was the name given to *all* the women who broadcast for the Japanese.

The very first bomb dropped on Berlin in WWII killed an elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

China on Tuesday executed the former head of its food and drug watchdog who had become a symbol of the country’s wide-ranging problems on product safety.”

“A pie floater is a meal served at pie carts in Adelaide and elsewhere in South Australia. It was once more widely available in other parts of Australia but its popularity waned. It consists of the traditional Australian meat pie covered with tomato sauce (similar to ketchup), sitting, usually inverted, in a plate of thick green pea soup.”

About half a million acres of land in Ohio were given as compensation to Connecticut civilians whose property was destroyed in the Revolutionary War.  The people were known as the “Fire Sufferers” because their homes were burned by the British army, and the land became known as the “Firelands” — the current Erie and Huron counties, and some extra bits and bobs of land including Johnson Island in Lake Erie.  The settlers were apparently good at farming but unoriginal in their naming practices, which is why Ohio contains towns and/or townships named Norwalk, New London, New Haven, Greenwich, Fairfield, Danbury, etc.

In the really important Red Wings home games, someone throws an octopus on the ice.

“Sony apologised ‘unreservedly’ yesterday for featuring Manchester Cathedral in a violent computer game.  The computer giant acknowledged it had offended worshippers by using the cathedral as a backdrop for Resistance: Fall of Man.  The game includes a virtual shoot-out between rival gunmen, with hundreds killed during a gun battle inside the cathedral.”

Most people with diverticulosis have few or no symptoms. Doctors refer to diverticulosis with no symptoms as asymptomatic diverticulosis. For people who experience symptoms, the condition is called symptomatic diverticulosis. Symptomatic diverticulosis is categorized into three types – painful diverticulosis, inflammatory diverticulitis (inflamed and infected diverticula) and bleeding diverticulosis (the blood vessel in the wall of the diverticulum ruptures).

STUFF THAT MADE ME LAUGH

Mom developed a peculiar affection for Who’s The Boss sometime in the 90s, but I attribute that to  incipient dementia.

Dude, he’s TOTALLY not playing.

If it’s a text-based game set in a cathedral, you need to make sure that’s you’ve installed the correct font.

GUESS THE AFCA’N

I really don’t appreciate people experimenting with flesh-eating bactieria around me.

 I miss wowing women.

I live in a 5-mile radius world!

While the Summer Of Love was happening, and the sexual revolution was taking place, I was in a hospital in Hull having my penis operated on.

MOTTO’s

I point at you and laugh.

I wonder if actual morons feel offended when I call you a moron.

I have no idea what either of us is talking about anymore.

I thank AFCA for being my alternative to beneficial exercise.

 I have 3 daughters so I’m not fussy about work

There’s so many jokes, snide comments, and innuendos available for that paragraph I don’t know where to start.

INNOCENT QUERIES

Is there an alligator on my butt?

How do utter bullocks compare to rising bollards?

What would be more fun than a little Parisite?

How do you get a prison-trained dog?

You donated blood to a sci-fi and fantasy convention?  Aren’t you afraid of what they’re going to do with it?

Who doesn’t like blowing up spare labware?

Do female camels have persontoes?

COMPLIMENTS

you’re not all googley.

SIMPLE TRUTHS

anything that has the word “Miracle” in its name is trying too hard.

Only one thing is impossible for God: to find any sense in copyright law…

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

BAND NAMES

Daleks in disguise

bollards in bondage

vegetable gravy

Snail Elbows

Mayberry Machiavellis

tangible poo

AFCAN DISSERTATION OF THE WEEK

Passion and Resurrection: A Synthesis of Parallactic Lenses on Amaranthine Lives
from Bobby Ewing to Jennifer Love Hewitt: Towards A Hermeneutics of Renascence.

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2 Responses to “I Learned it in AFCA 07/06/07 – 07/13/07”

  1. wyler said

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/

    I notice there’s no definition for AFCA in the urban dictionary. Any help for a city slicker trying to figure out what it stands for from a sweet country gal?

  2. PJB(UK) said

    Wyler: I notice there’s no definition for AFCA in the urban dictionary. Any help for a city slicker trying to figure out what it stands for from a sweet country gal?

    (Answer from a non-sweet non-gal:) AFCA is the newsgroup alt.fan.cecil-adams – a usenet discussion group that can be accessed either via a newsreader such as Outlook Express if your ISP still maintains a news server (cheapskate ISPs don’t nowadays) or, failing that, via Google Groups.

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