The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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In Other News….

Posted by thedarwinexception on August 3, 2007

OK – there’s no testimony today in the Spector trial, as is usual for Friday’s, so I thought I would turn to some other news and see what else is happening around here.

In Local news,  Hosler’s burned down (again). Hosler’s is a restaurant here in Malone. This is the third time it has burned down. Draw your own conclusions. Before the fire was even out, the owner posted the words “We’ll be back” on the sign outside. And since it’s a loss of 27 jobs in Malone, well, let’s hope that they do come back. We certainly don’t need 27 more people on unemployment.

And Hosler’s is right across the street from the fair, which starts this weekend. So now, at least, they’ll have a nice empty parking lot to fill with fairgoers at $3.00 a pop.

I’m looking forward to the fair, since I FINALLY got everything done and brought it in on Wednesday (YEAH ME!). If anyone wants to come to experience the Malone Fair, let me know, because I’ll bet I can score you some Loverboy tickets! Yes, Loverboy – Because we get the really *big* acts here. Fucking Loverboy. See, that’s what I’m talking about. Loverboy. That’ll bring people to Malone – that encourages tourism. Loverboy. I can’t even imagine what Loverboy is asking as an appearance fee these days. Probably $50 and a couple of coupons for the all you can eat buffet at La Pizza. And you know, I doubt I’d pay *that*.

And the best part is that Loverboy is not like the “secondary, cheap concert because I can’t afford to go see the *real* headliner, like the Kanye West concert”. No, the best part is that Loverboy is THE HEADLINER concert. Loverboy must be pissing all over themselves to be the headliners again. Loverboy is the “Big act” at the fair this year. They must think they won some kind of fucking Jackpot.In contrast, the Burlington fair has “Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard and Ray Price” as one concert, and their washed up rock and roller concert includes “Joan Jett, Blue Oyster Cult and Foghat”, and their “we had to get *somebody* current concert” is “Brad Paisley and Trace Adkins”. And that’s Burlington Freaking Vermont. You’d think if Burlington Vermont could get three washed up rock and rollers for one concert, Malone could, too. I mean, what’s Loverboy going to do, go out there on stage, since “Everybody’s Working for the Weekend” and then leave? Do they have any “new albums” to pimp? And how much of their “old stuff” is recognizable? “Here’s a song we did in 1987 that never actually hit the top 1000, but we hope you like it now…”

In other musical news, my rock
and roll star brother
(not to be confused with my heroin addict brother),  finally left his hideous wife. Of course, he leaves her all the time, only to return a few weeks later. But he’s actually been gone at least a month now, which is unusual, and he swears it’s for good this time. We’ll see. This is a picture of the rock and roll star brother. He looks so much like my Dad it’s uncanny.
I haven’t heard from the heroin addict brother in quite a while. I still have his crap here, too. It’s sitting right next to Todd’s crap in the Harley Barn. And all that shit is heading for the garage sale I keep threatening to have, but never actually have quite enough energy to put together. I will – someday. And here are some new pictures of the gang.

Brewster, who won’t look at cameras because he’s afraid of cameras.

Holly the Horse



Now I am off to Joann’s to get that blue and white yarn.


14 Responses to “In Other News….”

  1. Jill said

    Hey, not only is Loverboy all loveable Canadian boys, they have a new album out this year! Go, you’ll love every minute of it, the crowd will be full of hot girls in love, but you won’t notice them because of all the heaven in your eyes. Maybe you’ll get lucky and they’ll be able to keep it up live loud and loose until the big ones end up on the wildside as the temperature’s rising!

  2. I’ll go if you come down here and go with me.


  3. pattymac said

    Crap, with acts like that I need to put in my vacation request now for next year so I can be sure to go. Is the fair held the same week every year? I wouldn’t want to get to Malone, find no fair, and have to spend the weekend sitting in front of the formerly dead lady’s house watching her cut the lawn with scissors. That may be fine for dessert but I want a bigger entree.


  4. Greg Goss said

    A friend had a dog that was half rotty, half husky. It looked like pure rotty. The owner claimed that rotties are descended from Roman chariot dogs. Combine that with a sled dog and you’ve got someone who insists on pulling pretty hard on the leash. Those eyebrow dots look hauntingly like the late “Ralph” who died about a month back of a tumor.

  5. Sue Wikoff said

    Maybe it’ll rain.

    I’m probably a lot older than you but I never heard of Loverboy. And maybe that’s your point, nobody has or cares to remember.

    I loved the comment about AOL being a reason to commit suicide. I think, moreso, it’s a reason to kill only their tech support all live in India. Find out if Phil has AOL. That could be the missing piece. He was trying to log on to some sex site and kept getting knocked off. Lana got tired of waiting for Viagra to kick in and decided castles are arcane and so are the occupants, sort of like “The Rocky Horror Show” and you know the rest of the story.


  6. Ron Sowards said

    Loverboy is great, sure they’re an old act, but I noticed on their webpage they are playing in 25 venues this month, and will be on the Regis and Kelly show the day before appearing at your fair.
    I guess the Rolling Stones were booked, what do you want in a small country venue? Just for the record, Kane would charge about 200,000 dollars for one performance, how many folks in Malone would be able to pay the hundred(s?) dollar ticket price just to cover the cost of the act?

    I’m not a country fan, but Rodney Atkins is playing there and he’s in the top 15 or so on the billboard charts for a single and an album.

    I’d go if I could.

  7. I guess the Rolling Stones were booked, what do you want in a small country venue?

    I don’t know – but that’s a good question. I’ll have to think about it.

    I know I’d like a bookstore.

    Just for the record, Kane would charge about 200,000 dollars for one performance, how many folks in Malone would be able to pay the hundred(s?) dollar ticket price just to cover the cost of the act?

    I think it should be a benefit. For Malone. He should play free and the Town could charge…I don’t know, say $30? For a ticket -and all the proceeds can go to “Revitalizing Main Street!” – and maybe the renovation of the movie theater.

    We’d get some tourists, I’m sure, and they could see the pretty architecture and the National Park and the ski resort, and maybe a business or two would come in because of it.

    And we’d get a book store!

    And a dog groomer!

    This was all hypothetical, right?

    I’d go if I could.

    Oh Come on – come to the fair, you can come – I’ll even put you up. Can you paint??


  8. JayDee said

    Okay, I’ll bite:

    How the heck do they hold a rooster crowing contest at 11 in the morning?

    Little tiny blindfolds, maybe?

  9. How the heck do they hold a rooster crowing contest at 11 in the morning?

    Oh Sweet Baby Zombie Jesus – you FELL FOR THE PR!!!!

    Roosters have a very good thing going – due to the media only reporting the fact that this sweet, gentle, normally quiet and sedate fowl crows once every morning as the sun peeks over the horizon to gently wake the farmer out of bed and then goes back in the coop and sits around all day, just waiting for the sun to rise once again, so he can do his one job.


    One Easter, when we still lived in Florida, Paul bought me the cutest little pair of chick and rooster ever seen. They were small, golden yellow and fuzzy. We let them run around the house for a week or so, and they would actually follow me around, peep peep peep’ing. SO CUTE.

    At night I would put them in the bathtub so they wouldn’t get caught in something or hurt.

    As they got a little bigger, we found they were some exotic set of rooster and chick – they had these elaborate white combs on their heads that made them look like rastafarians – they were awesome looking.

    Until the fucking rooster hit puberty, that is, and started crowing.

    Yeah, he’d crow when the sun came up – and he’d crow when the fucking wind blew, and he’d crow when the dog barked, and he’d crow when the lights went on in the house (500 fucking YARDS from the coop), he’d crow when the chicken got his ass all riled up, and sometimes that sonofabitch would crow just for the fuck of it.

    ALL FUCKING DAY LONG that fucker would crow. Crowing ass fucking rooster.

    I don’t know who made up that shit about roosters only crowing at the crack of dawn when the sun came up, but somehow the world believed it – and it’s a damned good thing, too, because otherwise there wouldn’t be a sane fucking person alive that would have a goddamned crowing ass fucking rooster.

    It got so bad with our crowing ass rooster, I used to go outside with empty KFC buckets and throw them in the coop and scream “Shut the fuck up or you’re next you son of a fucking bitch!”

    So I wouldn’t worry too much about the contest being at 11:00 – what I would worry about is how many of the fuckers will survive the day after the person in the next tent over goes and wrings all their fucking necks and has a crowing ass rooster fucking free for all barbecue.


  10. Jill said

    I’ll go if you come down here and go with me.

    I can’t come, I have to go pick up the boy who has been working out of town for six weeks, then have a birthday supper at my ex-laws, then cut down a tree, then clean my eavestroughs.

    Besides it’s against my religion to go to a country fair before harvest.

    Besides, I’m probably coming down to annoy you this fall.

  11. Hatpin said

    Guy’s driving along a remote country lane, and as he passes a farmyard, a rooster runs out of the yard and in front of the car. Guy can’t brake in time; the rooster’s killed.

    Feeling guilty, the guy gets out and knocks on the farmhouse door. A little old lady farmer answers the door.

    “I’m sorry, I’ve killed your rooster. I’d like to replace him.”

    The lady looks puzzled, then replies: “OK, if you really want. The hens are out in the back.”

  12. I’m probably coming down to annoy you this fall.

    WOOOHOOO!!!! I LOVE when you come down to annoy me!!!!


  13. Wendell said

    Went to the Loverboy show on the weekend. Seems a lot of people know their MANY hits. It wa packed.

    You should have been there, the crowd LOVED it.

  14. You should have been there, the crowd LOVED it.

    A couple of Paul’s friends went and they both said it sucked – but I’ll take your word over their’s. If Jill likes Loverboy -they can’t be ALL bad. And Paul’s friends aren’t exactly the “Loverboy” types. So I wouldn’t expect them to like it – I don’t even know why they were there. I think it’s kind of like me dragging Paul to a Michael Buble concert. I would love it – he would say “It SUCKED”.

    Glad you had fun.


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