The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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CA vs. Spector – Punkin Pie with a Side order of Snide

Posted by thedarwinexception on July 11, 2007

Only three hours of testimony today, with court wrapping up at the noon hour. And we really needed court to end early today, because after the testimony of Jennifer Hayes, we all need a really long hot shower. What a disgusting little person she is.

Jennifer Hayes looks to be around 40, but is trying to look 20 and is behaving like a teenager. She’s all those female “friends” you had in High School wrapped up into one. You know the ones – the ones that would stop you in the hall and say “OH! I *LOVE* your shirt!” and then after you leave they would turn to their BFF standing next to them and roll their eyes. The passive aggressive teenage Heather friend. That’s who this witness is – all grown up and botox’ed. And she was most definitely *not* Lana’s “very, very  good friend” as she described it. Unless she describes a lot of her “very, very good friends” as “a melty little person, she was pathetic, she crumbled She liked to take drugs with her alcohol. She was belligerent”. Because that’s how she described her “very, very good friend”, Lana Clarkson.

Hayes contradicts herself so often and so easily that it’s really hard to tell what her testimony actually is. She started her direct examination late yesterday afternoon with Roger Rosen
pointing out that she was subpoenaed. Hayes agreed, but said that she “wanted to be here to tell the truth”. On cross examination today by Dixon, she said she *didn’t* want to be here, and said that “if you had *my* life, you wouldn’t want to be here, either.” Later she also included her father in the reasons she didn’t want to be there, for some reason. I don’t know, maybe he liked the Barbarian Queen movies or something.

She also flip flopped around on what exactly Lana’s state of mind was. First she said that Lana was “hopeful” and had a “good outlook”, then she said that Lana was depressed, that she hated her job at House of Blues, that she hated borrowing clothes for a $9.00 an hour job, that she borrowed money from anyone and everyone she could just to pay her bills, and that she was in a horrible, horrible situation. Dixon tried to pin the witness down on exactly what she meant with her conflicting testimony, but all he could get her to say was that Lana had a “game face”, one that she put on when she was working or looking for work, and that this was in no way related to the ‘real Lana”, the one who was depressed, dysfunctional, and overwhelmed with life.

Of course, this makes one wonder that if Lana so easily slipped between the two realities, as this witness suggests, exactly what state of mind Lana would have been in at Phil Spector’s castle? Would she have had her brave “game face” on, or would she have been the crumbling, melty person Hayes says she *really* was?

And despite her testifying that Lana was her “very, very good friend”, and that when you are Hayes friend, it’s an “intense relationship, when you are in my life, you know all the sordid little details of my life and I know all the sordid little details of yours”, she seems to have not been so intimately involved with Lana. For one, she hadn’t even spoken to Lana, according to phone records, in the last 6 months of Lana’s life. When Dixon points this fact out to her, she agrees that No, she hadn’t spoken to Lana, but that there were very good reasons for that – she had “bigger fish to fry”, she testifies, what with having two children she was trying to keep out of rehab. WTF? Where did that come from, and how much you want to bet that hearing this in open court on national TV made her kids go running for the crack pipe? And number 2, she testifies that “Oh, yes, Lana *always* lived in the “cottage” -for the whole 8 years I knew her.” Which makes one wonder who the hell was living there that she was having an intense relationship with, since Lana only lived in the cottage the last 2 years of her life.

Hayes also did the one thing that a witness should never, ever, ever do in front of a jury. She changed her entire demeanor, tone, attitude and testimony when going from direct to cross. When the Prosecutor got up to question her she was almost hostile, with a snotty, dismissive air that made her look pathetic and untrustworthy. And the fact that she never missed an opportunity to denigrate Lana and besmirch her name and reputation made her look even more unlikable and unbelievable. When she was asked if Lana was a neat person, she couldn’t just say “yes, she was neat”, no she had to throw out “She wasn’t neat – she was anal retentive.” Vicious.

She testified that it was “so sad” that Lana had to take that “horrible, horrible job for $9.00 an hour” and that Lana was “so upset and so distraught” when Lana came to Hayes’ nice home in a nice neighborhood after Hayes had her last child, and poor Lana had to sit there and *see* how well her friends were doing, and it must have been “just horrible” for Lana, knowing that poor Lana had *none* of these things. One wonders why she didn’t flop her lips over her shoulder and reach into her Gucci handbag and give Lana some money, you know, since they were such “very, very good friends.”

The only interesting part of Hayes testimony is that concerning “Punkin Pie”. Pie is Hayes “very best friend” and she met Lana through Pie, who was also Lana’s best friend. One wonders if the close relationship between Pie and Lana might not be the impetus for some of Hayes’ “back stabbing under the guise of being friends” testimony. Jealous much?

Hayes got sucked into all this mess when she agreed to go to a meeting that Punkin Pie was having with one of the defense’s investigators. She ended up answering a lot of the investigator’s questions for Punkin Pie, since “I am Pie’s memory”. WTF? Well, we have one wonderful cross examination of Pie to look forward to if she’s allowed to testify, seeing’s how Miss Botox here just threw her BFF’s credibility out the window.

Finally they scrape through the vitriol left on the witness stand by this hateful bitch and get her off the stand.

And next up – more of absolutely nothing.

The defense calls Richard Tomlin back to the stand. Which I thought was going to be great. It’s always interesting when the defense calls a police investigator or person from the sheriff’s department because, really, what is the prosecution going to do? Question his credibility? Question his motives? Attack his procedures? If a police officer is called by the defense, there’s usually a good reason for it and you know it’s going to be great testimony.

Well, you’d think that, huh? Not in this case.

Looking nothing but desperate and as though they are grasping at straws, Roger Rosen starts asking this witness about his official reports. “Isn’t it true, Mr. Tomlin, that in your report of your interview with Dorothy Melvin, there is no mention of the fact that Phil Spector was drinking vodka from a round bottle with a handle?”

“Ummm. no, it just says he was drinking vodka.”

“But, isn’t it true, sir that it does NOT say that it was from a round bottle with a handle?”

“You’re right, it doesn’t say that.”

And you almost expect Rosen to shout out “AHA! Mr. Tomlin!”

Oh for the love of fucking God.

Rosen goes on and on and on asking questions like “Is it true Mr. Tomlin that in your *OFFICIAL* report of your interview with Stephanie Jennings it does NOT say that Phil Spector picked at his food as she testified he did here in open court?”

You know, because if he didn’t pick at his food, there’s no fucking way he could have pulled a gun on her.

But, that’s OK, Rosen. Keep those prior acts witnesses names right there in front of the jury – that will help your case. Because you know, if it doesn’t *SAY* in the official police report of the interview with Rommie Davis that Phil had 3 daiquiris, well, it just must not be so. And ignore those fucking receipts we showed you jury, rely on the way this guy writes his reports, instead.

And thank God for Alan Jackson. He began his cross with this little exchange

“I’m Alan Jackson.”
To which Tomlin replied: “I know that.”
At which point Jackson smiled and said “I know. I was trying to break the ice

Hey, it gets the courtroom laughing, which can only mean they are awake. Something that was in question after the four different *OFFICIAL* police reports Rosen had to nitpick his way through.

Jackson seems to be on the right path with the cross, pointing out that SURPRISE! the report isn’t’ a fucking transcript, it’s a summary, for Christ’s sake, and just because it doesn’t say in there that the person being interviewed blinked their eyes in between questions, that doesn’t mean the fucking person wasn’t blinking.

The defense is sinking fast, I fear. If fair weather friends and unimportant omissions in summary reports are the best they can come up with, they better hope Phil has the funds to track down Henry Lee in China and drag his ass back here to testify. Either that, or Phil better start wig shopping for his prison ‘do.

Tomorrow Jackson will continue with his cross of Tomlin, and there are rumors and murmurings that Punkin Pie, she of the “no memory”, will be the next defense witness. One hopes she can remember where the court house is and that her “very, very good friend” Jennifer Hayes will be on hand to help her answer questions.

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24 Responses to “CA vs. Spector – Punkin Pie with a Side order of Snide”

  1. Kitt said

    Thanks again for the wrap up. Of course, after today you will owe your loyalty to a new network — Court TV has changed its name:

    http://www.reuters.com/article/televisionNews/idUSN1130377120070712

    Could anything be worse than truTV?

  2. Katy said

    What can I say, the woman is a liar. She didn’t even know if she was a good friend or an aquaintance. For what ever reason, I think she harbored some jealousy of Lana. She would rage at times when speaking about Lana. Maybe she was jealous of Lana and Punkin Pie’s realtionship. Who knows…glad she is off the stand and can no longer trash Lana. You know what happens when you talk bad of the dead….something about kharma I think.

  3. Could anything be worse than truTV?

    Yeah, they’ve been talking about this for a while at the Court TV boards, and I subscribe to Court TV Extra, which has been “building up” to the change for quite a while.

    I think it’s a dumb name, but they didn’t ask me.

    Kim

  4. She didn’t even know if she was a good friend or an aquaintance.

    Oh God! Didn’t you love that??? “I never said we were best friends…we were very, very good friends” – yeah, lady and with friends like you….

    She would rage at times when speaking about Lana.

    And that was the oddest part and what made her so tacky and unlikable. She did the defense no favors. All it did was make me more sympathetic to Lana – with people like this in her life it’s no wonder she felt overwhelmed.

    You know what happens when you talk bad of the dead….something about kharma I think.

    I think God should make her lips explode. Or she should fry in her tanning bed.

    Kim

  5. barskin said

    You wrote a great summation of today’s testimony and one terrific analysis of “Punkin Pie’s Memory,” Jennifer Hays.
    Bravo!

    One of my favorite moments:

    Dixon: You hadn’t spoken to her for months before her death, had you?

    Hays: Do you want to know why?

    Dixon: Could you answer the question, you hadn’t spoken to her for months…

    Hays: Do you want to know why?

    Defensive much?

  6. poplife said

    Wow, I love your entry, and just from nosin’ around a bit, I think I may love your blog. Consider yourself “marked,” bookmarked, that is.

  7. houdini said

    well i have this blog bookmarked after finding it the last 2 days! you are one heck of a writer, but i think you’ve been creeping into my head and writing what i’m thinking! LOL!

    your take on the silicone sleaze who threw her own kids under the bus proves that nothing she said could be taken at a face value. she shoulda spent money on introspection instead of botox!

    great job and look forward to much more!

  8. Sprocket said

    Even though I am in the court room most days experiencing the trial first hand, I throughly enjoy your accurate and very witty recap of the witnesses testimony.

    Consider me a fan.

  9. Dave said

    Years ago, Dennis Miller could have been talking about Jennifer Hayes instead of Monica Lewinsky when he said, “I’m not saying she’s not good-looking, but if you’re in a bar at closing time and she’s the last girl there, she makes an old copy of Swank look pretty good.”

  10. enlightenme said

    My favorite line:

    From Judge Fidler to Mr. Rosen – “Take all the umbrage you want.”

    LOL

  11. Welcome Poplife! Thanks for the kind words!

    Kim

  12. your take on the silicone sleaze who threw her own kids under the bus proves that nothing she said could be taken at a face value.

    Why would she do that!!!??? She DID throw her kids under the bus! I like that phrase. And did you feel she was almost as passive aggressive when talking about them as she was when talking about Lana?

    No wonder they are in rehab. Good God.

    Kim

  13. Even though I am in the court room most days experiencing the trial first hand, I throughly enjoy your accurate and very witty recap of the witnesses testimony.

    Thanks! And how lucky to be able to actually see the trial firsthand! I’ve only seen one trial “firsthand” that was ever covered on Court TV – in Florida. I somehow doubt Beth & Co. will ever be coming to Malone, though.

    Consider me a fan.

    Consider me jealous.

    And Thanks!

    Kim

  14. Nandee said

    It’s great to have a place where common sense reigns!

  15. Glenda said

    Great analysis and exactly what I was thinking watching the recap this morning.
    WHO ARE THESE FRIENDS that felt compelled to testify for the defense? If my “very, very, very good friend” was dead I sure wouldn’t be helping the side that was trying to free the only logical person to make her that way. Doesn’t matter what you thought about her–is this truly about your 15 minutes of fame???

  16. lyn Carlsbad CA said

    You really got it right and I doubt that she’ll get many design jobs from this exposure.

    I gave up on Court TV. I watch online at ktla.trb.com- none of the BS or commercial breaks.

  17. sharon stone said

    Defense attorney Rosen is without a doubt the most iritating lawyer I’ve ever seen in a court room. thank god for the mute button..Spector should have stuck with Shapiro. I’m usually on the defense side from the getgo but Alan Jackson knocked this one out of the ballpark from the beginning. Let’s face it, two people, one gun, one survivor. Do the math….the most important thing to me is if someone had killed thereself in my home, the last thing I would say was “I think I killed someone” It speaks volumes!!!!

  18. IonaTrailer said

    In the immortal words of Dennis Miller, when are these women going to go back to their day jobs – HAUNTING A BOG???

    sheesh – what a bunch of pathetic loosers.

  19. […] CA vs. Spector – Punkin Pie with a Side order of Snide Only three hours of testimony today, with court wrapping up at the noon hour. And we really needed court to end early […] […]

  20. Susan said

    Very awesome article; these thoughts were going through my head as I watched Hays’ testimony. Having worked in the legal field for many years (not criminal though), you wonder why in the hell the defense would have put her on the stand…they had no control of her ramblings and interjecting her live in this trial — they couldn’t even clean her up for the 2nd day of direct. I’m hopeful the jury sees her for the attention-getting wanna be diva that she is because I didn’t buy into her story. I feel sorry for any person that has any dealings with Hays; especially her children…

    I’m glad Hays is off the stand — they couldn’t get her off fast enough if you ask me! And, while the prosecution could have blundered her a bit more, I think they figured she’d done enough damage and that it wasn’t necessary to waste the Court’s/Jurors’ time on such self-serving trash!

  21. Marilyn said

    I Love You Guys & how witty you all are. Thanks from a bored Grandma in Vegas.

  22. Dave said

    This is a hoot. I have not been following this trial, but just read an AP article referencing this Punkin Pie person; so I Googled “Punkin Pie” to see what kind of a nut case would call them-self that. Is it a Honest-to-God female or a Drag? Is anyone making book on where Jennifer Hayes’ boobs and butt will be located in 10 years, and if the tan lines will follow? I think I’m going to have to bookmark and explore this site some more.

    Thanks

  23. Bethany said

    Is is something to do with someone I heard of call Punkin Head?

  24. OJ Simpson said

    Jennifer Hayes’ defining moment was when she said Clarkson envied Hayes’ life (“everything I have” I believe were the exact words), and then she testfies how two of her kids are resisting rehab, she recently banged out another kid making her a single mother of 3, and that she has bad luck. Was the pretty and single (though poor) Clarkson envious of that? Clarkson’s association with the Punkin and Hayes shows that she was narcissistic gold digger like them. Clarkson obviously prospecting for gold when she went home with the decrepit Phil Spector after getting the $500 tip, no doubt hoping he would be her sugar daddy. This encapsulates life for lonely women in Los Angeles, with fake smiles, faded looks and bitter attitudes, who can no longer attract what they consider to be a fetching suitor. How darkly they turned against her at trial is a testament to their ambitions.

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