The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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I Learned it in AFCA 05/25/07 – 05/31/07

Posted by thedarwinexception on June 10, 2007

YOU WILL LEARN STUFF HERE

The FDA today warned consumers not to buy or eat monkfish because it may actually be puffer fish containing a potentially lethal toxin called tetrodotoxin.

Tensegrity is a portmanteau of tensional integrity. It refers to the integrity of structures as being based in a synergy between balanced tension and compression components

Harrisburg has been an important transportation center since the days of riverboat traffic. Its western boundary is formed by the Susquehanna River. This location played an important part in its selection as the capital of Pennsylvania in 1812. Because of its location, Harrisburg played a large part in the early development of the Pennsylvania canal system and the subsequent development of the railroads, highways and airlines.

In 1942, Manchester took part in Operation Pedestal, an operation to supply the besieged island of Malta, and which cost a number of warships, including the loss of the carrier Eagle. During the operation, on 13 August, she was torpedoed by an Italian Ms torpedo boats off Tunisia, killing several of her crew, and she was subsequently scuttled by explosive charges.

Apparently on Inside Edition’s home planet it is a big shocker that home repair contractors scam people.

The Michigan Item Pricing Law states: If an item should scan higher than the  price it is marked, you are entitled to the difference, PLUS 10 times the difference, not to be less than $1.00 or more than $5.00.  (to paraphrase very closely)

STUFF THAT MADE ME LAUGH

Yes, but of course, their only answer is “Nuts!”

That sounds like either a really nasty medical procedure or a very kinky date.

AAAAAAAAA++++++ WOULD REPENT AGAIN

I’ll never understand how grackles get laid with a mating call that seems to be communicating “Hey I gotta lot of phlem”.

I think there are ways around paying your taxes. They probably involve moving to some tiny nation, but, well…that’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

GUESS THE AFCA’N

sitting in a hotel room in Tokyo I might have latency problems

I’m not shooting myself for someone else’s sins. Not unless they ask

I don’t have any strap-ons available.

As a single man, I’m used to doing things by hand, y’know

I have been known to lavish unlimited smoochies and wild sex on socklet wearers

MOTTO’s

In this family, the black sheep are white.

I don’t have a two. I thought I did, but it was a restatement of 1

without asscracks, we’d all be full of shit.

I misspelled “slipprz”

There’s nothing a man and a computer can’t answer.

ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI

That’s an interesting idea, though maybe not a very good one

Some days there isn’t enough herring in the world to give you the smack you’re asking for.

If you can’t roll on your ass on the floor with your friends, I’m not sure what’s left

The flaw with your argument is that it isn’t the argument.

Stranger things have happened. Particularly in Malone

AFCAN ADVICE

Dude, if someone pulls out a pizza cutter with needles and asks you to take out your penis, you’ve got more than nerve damage if you go along with the program. You need to sit down and have a talk with your brain. It is NOT pulling its weight in this relationship

if you are with someone who knows The One Right Way to do something, it shortly becomes necessary to stab them to death.

If anyone asks what you’re doing at my funeral, just say “I’m a penguin from the Internet from 2007.” My relatives will believe you.

INNOCENT QUERIES

What are some of your buggery choices?

Can you start with Marie Curie? I’ve always wanted to go out drinking with her.

Have you ever had seriously depressed, angry chick sex? It rocks.

Is this about those chihuahuas again?

who doesn’t like getting greased up and playing with hot slippery stuff

If the General’s Tso chicken, shouldn’t he be in another line of work?

If Bush told you that sticking carrots in your nostrils would defeat terrorism, you’d be first in line at the vegetable patch, wouldn’t you?

When you get all your info from fiction, who knows how reliable it is?

COMPLIMENTS

I’d never puke on Les’ shoes.

I’ve looked into his ass.  He is a good man.

It seems like all the crazy bastards I’ve been cursing out on the roads for years are here in this newsgroup.

Well said, sugar tits.

SIMPLE TRUTHS

the reward for being a cancer survivor is that you are a cancer survivor

A fuel and his money are soon parted.

All cats are, in a very real sense, in the kitchen meowing for food even when they appear to be somewhere else.

Baked beans on toast trumps popcorn every time.

Harper Lee was full of shit.  Mockingbirds are not innocent and “They don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us” my ass.

Humpback tempura is very tasty when dipped in soy sauce.

Gubs don’t kill birds.  People kill birds.

Better than one of ’em golden shower retrievers.

THE DOCTOR IS IN….5 CENTS

If he’s on drugs, he needs serious help getting off them.
If he’s not on drugs, he needs them badly.

BAND NAMES

Ricing Potatoes

gross of socklets

LUDLOW NOVEL  OF THE WEEK
the Blinky-wait equation

BELIEVE IT OR DON’T
It may be easier for Acosta to physically negotiate the hike because the dog has more legs to distribute the weight (and *probably* more stamina than you), but it takes its toll in the dog’s mental well-being; with each step Acosta has to remember where the other 3 legs are in relation to the obstacles on the trail, so that it can place its next leg correctly.  In a famous experiment* a mature Labrador Retriever was led along a mountain path strewn with small rocks.  The dog was able to successfully navigate the path several times, and showed no sign of tiredness or mis-steps.  But when a marrow bone was shown briefly to the dog when it was in mid-stride, the dog would lose its foot placement concentration and trip on a stone in the trail.  The experiment was repeated several times with the same result. Unfortunately, the experimental work had to be discontinued after eight repetitions when the dog stumbled so badly that it fell off the mountain.  Canine confusion experiments were never funded again.

*(“Canine Ambulatory Confusion – 1938, H. Marplot)

MALONELOL’S

 

 

 

THE CHOIR WILL BE SINGING

Jesus, I’m A Guilty Sinner, Hit Me In The Face With A Rake On Fridays

Pro Pudendum, Max Factor Dolores.

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