The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Stupid Things in the News

Posted by thedarwinexception on May 9, 2007

The roommate was better last night. Well, only because he left about 10:00. He’s taking a new approach now. He decided that to “show her she can’t fuck with him” he would go to the ER. And then, see, when she called or came over we would say “Oh, Todd is at the ER”, and she would be crushed. Only she didn’t call or come over, so I don’t think that worked out really well. Well, not entirely true – it worked out well for me. I didn’t have to listen to him on the phone all night.

But that might not be a concern too much longer, anyway. I got Paul to ask Todd about how much this phone is costing. Because, really, no one can be on the phone that much and have an affordable bill. Todd told Paul he gets 450 minutes free, and that nights and weekends are free. Paul sad to him “what about after the 450 minutes, how much are the minutes then, because you like used up 450 minutes on Monday.” Todd didn’t know, so Paul told him to find his contract. Surprisingly he had it, and Paul looked and each additional minute after the 450 are 45 cents each. No way he’s going to have that phone much longer. They’ll be shutting it off as soon as he can’t pay the $2,000 monthly bill.

I can’t wait.

In the meantime, here are some other stupid people in the news.

If you see an orange hanging around looking lost, please call this guy.

 

I think the police are getting way too much power.

 

Well, and who better, really…

 

You know, I just don’t get this at all. It’s a knife and fork in one, right? But isn’t that going to be a little dangerous to be putting in your mouth?

 

I’m going to have to ask my friend over at The Extrapolator if this is the same thing as the NCAA

 

Someone call Child Protective Services – quick

 

Band Name!

 

What exactly do “good terrorists” do? Go around planting flower gardens in the middle of the night? “Martha, come quick those damned *good* terrorists painted the house last night.” This guy is right – we just don’t hear enough about the good terrorists.

 

Well, and there’s some skills you just can’t learn too early.

 

Isn’t that the same thing as prostitution?

 

ahhhh yes, that classic Italian tune.

 

I hope this wasn’t the mayor talking.

 

There’s a guy you don’t want to mess with.

 

Ok – where do you start? Really? Where do you start?

 

….and my favorite, just because it’s so fucking stupid.

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4 Responses to “Stupid Things in the News”

  1. Charlie Pearce said

    Surely “up until 2:30 in the fucking morning” falls under “nights and weekends are free”…?

  2. Yes, I was glad to learn that “nights and weekends are free”, but it’s not just “nights and weekends’ that he’s on the phone – he’s on it *continuously” – all day, all night, while he’s walking, while he’s sitting, while he’s eating, while he’s in the car….he’s never *not* on the phone.

    And I don’t think it’s just me that gets annoyed over this – Tuesday he was home all day and calling people over and over and over…finally he called one of his Aunts and whoever answered the phone said “Sorry – she’s taking a nap – call back in half an hour.” Todd said to the person “I’ll Wait!”

    I about laughed my fucking ass off. I thought that was the funniest thing I’d ever heard.

    I think the phone is a comfort thing for him and a way to get people to listen to him. He speaks so unintelligbly that I think “face to face” people tend to blow him off or turn away or stop listening and stop trying to understand him. On the phone, people listen to him, and, he feels he is being heard. He never calls his mother – because his mother hangs up on him when she can’t understand him. It’s easier for her to understand him when he’s in front of her. So he doesn’t call her a lot. He calls *everyone else* though, because they listen to him. And I think that the “captive audience” thing is important to him and a large part of why he’s on the phone 24/7.

    Kim

  3. Well, Kim, if there’s one area in which the NAACP has undisputably done their job about as well as it can be done, it’s basketball.

    Not to nitpick, but there’s extra stuff in my link that’s causing it not to work.

    As always, I have to stifle laughter at work. Which is not your fault. But it is.

  4. I fixed the link – I spelled it wrong – ooooppps.

    And don’t stifle your laughter – that just makes it build up and then it comes bursting out when you least expect it.

    Kim

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