The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Nothing New Under the Sun

Posted by thedarwinexception on April 10, 2007

So it’s been a while since I updated what’s going on around here, so let’s have at it.

First Off: My health. Thanks to everyone who has been emailing me inquiring about the status on how Paul and I are doing. Me? Well, I’m back on “the tube”. And that doesn’t mean, unfortunately, that I finally got a burst of horniness and I’m riding Paul’s “tube”. No, I’m back on the feeding tube. I had a fun, glorious experience with this a while back for about six weeks. The doctor finally removed it after I gained about 11 pounds. Well, now I’m back on it again, since I have been losing weight again and having a problem keeping anything down. I think I’ve just been worried about Paul, and stress does strange things to my immune system, which is shot anyway.

This time as an added bonus I have this wacky aversion to the smell of meat. I can’t smell any flesh cooking – it makes me vomit. And I found out last night it’s not just “cooking meat” – it’s the smell of meat in any form. Paul was eating a ham sandwich and I was sitting next to him watching “Dancing With the Stars” (Go Fat One!) and all of a sudden I got a smell of the ham sandwich. Which was all I needed. I looked over at Paul and said “Are you eating meat?” and I had to run to the bathroom, where I had the dry heaves for two whole dancers.

I went shopping Saturday, and I had to run past the deli with my jacket over my face because they were roasting chickens. I didn’t think I was going to be able to shop without puking. And I was quite sure I was going to be stopped by security at any moment. I mean, how suspicious did I look with my jacket over my face running down the cereal aisle?

But, I’m back on the tube. Every night I have to hook up to this contraption and pour this Nestlé’s supplement into my stomach via a plastic shunt. And don’t let the name Nestlé’s fool you. This stuff isn’t chocolate or palatable. And it’s expensive. Luckily, last time I was tubing it the doctor had given me a case of the stuff, and I still had some left over.

Second off: Paul’s health. Paul is still losing weight. Which is rather amusing, if you think about it. Between me on the tube again and him losing weight, it’s like we must have hit a gypsy or something in the car. We are the couple from “Thinner”. But Paul’s weight loss is more frustrating then mine. Mine has a cause and a cure. His doesn’t, as far as I am concerned. I can keep nothing down, I have known issues, so it’s not as worrisome. Paul eats more in a day than most small countries, and it’s not like he has some super active lifestyle. The guy would sleep 20 hours a day if he could. And he does sleep 20 hours a day most weekends. His “get up and go” has “got up and went”.

But, luckily, when we went to my doctor, who is very good, I asked about Paul and expressed to him my concerns with the doctors in Malone. I just don’t think they are aggressive enough and active enough in diagnosing and treating Paul. I mean, I believe that something is up with his thyroid. I really do, and when I google the symptoms of “unintended weight loss; low blood pressure” I do get a lot of hits on “Thyroid”, so I am sure that something is up with Paul’s thyroid. It’s just that I would also like a *reason* his thyroid is wacky. Is the bad thyroid a symptom of something else? And I do understand that the thyroid medication he is on needs to be in his system a while before things get better, but I don’t want the treatment to cover up all the symptoms if there is something else going on. I guess I just want a second opinion, and a more aggressive doctor who is more innovative and questions more. So I asked my doctor if he could recommend someone else in Plattsburgh who might take a look at Paul. He gave me the name of a colleague of his who we are going to go see on April 18th. And my doctor agreed with me that there might be more going on. Which was a relief. I thought I was just being obsessive. But, I’ve had experience with this, I mean, the first doctor I went to when I got ill diagnosed me with Lupus, and left it at that. While it was nice to know that I had lupus, he attributed a lot of my symptoms to that, unable to see past his own diagnosis. It was only my second doctor who did more tests and found out the whole story. And I’m just concerned that this is what Paul’s doctor is doing.

Next Up: Malone Update: So, things are the same in Malone. Still no bookstore, still no movie theater. And the people are the same. Well, except we did lose the pregnant thief and her boyfriend. She *is* pregnant again, and they did finally move to her grandmother’s “down near Peru”. Wherever that is. But we’ll be gaining a new child any day now when Josh and his girlfriend have their kid. Josh is Ray and Lynn’s son, and is also the father of the pregnant thief’s first kid. Josh is in jail at the moment. He’s a thief, too. In fact, he came over here one time and had the fucking balls to steal shit from the old lady across the street. Her brother had taken her shopping and his truck was parked in the driveway full of stuff as he helped the old lady bring packages into her house. While they were carting stuff in, Josh helped himself to one of the bags that was still in the bed of the truck – one that was full of cartons of cigarettes the brother had bought. I was fucking pissed when I found out about it. I knew it was him. Had to be, he was leaving our house while the truck was parked ion the driveway – who else would it have been? Fucking thief. I told Paul if he ever came back to our house I would immediately call the police on him and tell them he was the one who stole from the old lady across the street. Paul must have known I was serious, because Josh has never been back here. Not once.

Next Up: Project Update: I am finished the fur lined PJ’s. Yeah! Are they adorable, or what? I think they came out really well. Now I am starting on some little overalls and a matching shirt for a little boy. And for this outfit I am using the embroidery machine to embroider a matching motif from the shirt onto the bibs of the overalls. A little more complicated, but hopefully the whole thing will go much quicker than the fur lined PJ’s. Those took forever. And I’m still not done with the knitting of the bunting. I might as well quit that project. I just find it impossible to sit and knit lately. I blame it on “Nothing on TV worth sitting down for.” I mean, Sanjaya? Really? He’s almost as bad at singing
as Leeza Gibbons is at dancing.

And after a couple of good weeks that made me think “Lost is Back!” They had a sucky episode again. And Heroes still isn’t back. So there’s just nothing worth sitting down for. So my knitting goes unfinished.

Next Up: Family Update. Still haven’t heard from Gary – but my sister saw him when he went to her house recently “to get some stuff”. So, he’s still alive and still OK. And still using, apparently. Such is life, I guess. Like I’ve always said about Gary, he’s hit what *I* would have considered “rock bottom” so many times, I don’t think he *has* a “rock bottom.” Maybe there are some people in the world who don’t have one. Personally, if I lost all my shit, if my kids and my family hated me and turned their backs on me, if I didn’t have a place to live or a change of clothes and no money and no hope, you know, I might look around and begin to think “I might be doing something wrong, here. Maybe I need some like, fucking *help*.” Gary doesn’t think like that. If I had three wishes, I think I would spend one on him – that he could kick his addictions once and for all, and be the Gary I used to know and love so much. He’s not a bad guy, I swear he’s not. When he was clean, he was the funniest guy you could ever know. And he’s *really* smart. He’s really into music, and he could rattle off music facts and trivia the way my kids could rattle off football stats. I always thought he would be a great music reporter, or a music producer or something. He used to have much smarter choices in women, too.  don’t think this one he’s with now is helping the situation much. He doesn’t need a drug buddy. He needs a strong woman who can urge him and support him in getting some treatment. But, since I don’t think I’m going to be getting “three wishes” any time soon, I guess I’ll just have to wait until he finally ends up dead or in prison. I think that’s the only way he’s going to be clean – if he’s dead or in prison. And even the “in prison” one might not keep him clean. I haven’t given up on him, but I think I have futile hope.

So, that’s all the news that’s fit to print around here. And now I’m going to email every single person who emailed *me* and ask them for updates on what’s going on with them. So you might as well leave a comment here telling me. And you know who you are.


4 Responses to “Nothing New Under the Sun”

  1. Dana said

    “Peru?” Oh, hell. There’s a Peru (pronounced “PEE-ru”) here in Southern Indiana. Just what we need — the pregnant thief and her stupid baby-daddy.

  2. HAHAHAHAHA! I’ll send them to your house – they would *LOVE* the RV parked in your driveway! Home Sweet Home!


  3. Hank said

    Don’t mean to be nosy, but did you and Paul find out anything from the doctor on the 18th?

  4. Perplexio said

    I have a wacky thyroid too… it doesn’t do anything. I take levothyroxin daily… I used to take synthyroid. But a messed up thyroid– whether you’re hypo (like me) or hyper-thyroid can really wreak havoc on your metabolism. Apparently the effects of these 2 disorders is even greater with women as it does a number on their monthly cycles (and I don’t mean the bicycles they happen to ride every month).

    If I miss a day or two of medication it won’t kill me, I’ll feel a little off maybe– but generally I won’t get ill. But just based on what you’ve described it could very well be thyroid related.

    I’d recommend you and Paul to my old doctor in Saranac Lake but I believe he’s retired and even before he retired he’d stopped taking on new patients. Medical care in Malone isn’t always the best which is why so many from Malone end up over in Plattsburgh or Burlington instead.

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