The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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I Learned it in AFCA 03/30/07 – 04/05/07

Posted by thedarwinexception on April 6, 2007

YOU WILL LEARN STUFF HERE

In the UK during the war it was a legal requirement to remove the rotor if you left your vehicle unattended, to stop the German paratroopers dressed as nuns from stealing it.

“Answers.com is currently being used by Google for providing definitions to search terms (by direct links). Previously, Google had used Dictionary.com for that purpose. This switch contributed significantly to Answers.com’s popularity.”

…when a team of scientists led by Robin L. Bennett, a genetic counselor at the University of Washington and the president of the National Society of Genetic Counselors, announced that cousin marriages are not significantly riskier than any other marriage, it made the front page of The New York Times. The study, published in the Journal of Genetic Counseling [in 2002], determined that children of first cousins face about a 2 to 3 percent higher risk of birth defects than the population at large. To put it another way, first-cousin marriages entail roughly the same increased risk of abnormality that a woman undertakes when she gives birth at 41 rather than at 30.

Emergency room visits for cheerleading injuries nationwide have more than doubled since the early 1990s, far outpacing the growth in the number of cheerleaders, and the rate of life-threatening injuries has startled researchers. Of 104 catastrophic injuries sustained by female high school and college athletes from 1982 to 2005 head and spinal trauma that occasionally led to death more than half resulted from cheerleading, according to the National Center for Catastrophic Sports Injury Research. All sports combined did not surpass cheerleading.

Swearing is only 40% of plumbing.  Showing ass crack cleavage is another 40%.  The other 20% involves knowing the only 4 things you need to know to get a plumber’s license.  To wit:

1.  Hot on the left
2.  Cold on the right
3.  Shit runs downhill
4.  Payday is on Friday

“Love” comes from “l’oeuf” which is French for “egg”.

There is an old cooking phrase which addresses the weight of water and other similar liquids (and in some cases, solids) used in the preparation of foods: “A pint’s a pound the whole world ’round”. Actually, a pint of water weighs 1.04375 pounds. So, although this
phrase does not provide the EXACT weight of each liquid, it does provide a very simple rule for determining approximately how much liquids weigh.

“Europe has eclipsed the US in stock market value for the first time since the first world war …Europe’s 24 stockmarkets, including Russia and emerging Europe, saw their capitalisation rise to $15,720bn (?11,819bn) at the end of last week, according to Thomson Financial data. That exceeded the $15,640bn market value of the US.

“Be advised that the dolphins, which have a lifespan of 50 years in the wild, rarely last more than five years in captivity.  They can’t handle the stress of being confined, being fed as opposed to hunting, and being forced to interact with human whether they want to or not.  When you go, ask the handlers themselves how long the dolphins live in captivity (not in the wild or overall, but after they arrive in the pen).  See for yourselves.”

After years of discussion and delay, U.S. airlines will start offering in-flight Internet connections, instant messaging and wireless email within 12 months, turning the cabin into a WiFi “hotspot.” Carriers are expected to start making announcements around the end of the summer, with service beginning early next year.

STUFF THAT MADE ME LAUGH

Of course given a choice I’m not sure who you’d rather have defending your rear, Thespians or Lesbians.

I would have expected her to be weaned before marriage.

The “Radio Flyer” wagon I had as a kid did not have a radio or fly.

You know what they say about books with really big footnotes.

Remind me to keep bags of rat poison, labeled as cocaine, in my house.


GUESS THE AFCA’N

I, for one, welcome Raquel Welch over me.

I’m out of Shortbread cookies and I need a fix.

I have always found fukitall works for me.

I’m just full of pithy sayings that I make up all by myself.

It was probably cuter than the cyst on my ass.

When my sons were born,  I was neither given an enema nor shaved and neither was my wife.

I already suspected that I am a bit retarded.

I have to admit it’s the best life-size chocolate Jesus I’ve ever seen:

You are fucking lucky I don’t own a gun, Lady.

I am the anti-Morrissey.

The last census report, Charleen filled in her race as Ferengi and I put down that I was human.

Before I had all those kids, I was a lot smarter.

MOTTO’s

“British plumbing?” We’re doomed.

 *everthing* is sushi to a shark

Put that nit back where you found it – it’s not ripe yet.

My assertion may be contradicted, but it is not wrong.

I’d rather scrub toilets than “deal with the public”.

While I can understand how someone could hold this totally wrong, misguided, ridiculous assertion to be true, I beg to differ.

This is not a motto

AFCAN ADVICE

If you’re genuinely confused as to how one might “avoid” an ATM camera, you’re not cut out for a life of crime.

Don’t wear light pants and a dark top, it’ll make your thighs look huge and your chest flat.

You’re not supposed to play poker with guys named Doc.  Maybe you’re not supposed to go out with them too.

I guarandamntee you that you don’t want to dig a grave where there are pingos, solifluction, or vertisol.

You know, if you make a slip like that, it’s common courtesy to let someone else point it out and tease you.

INNOCENT QUERIES

Where can I find an inflatible co-pilot?

Did they ask about any Big Mac related injuries?

How come we never say, “. . . back when he was just a bulge in his father’s pants” ?

What does the City of San Francisco have against apostrophes?

What is the sound of one car crashing?

Is that your trampoline?

This won’t be an unusual question for you, I’m sure: who the fuck are you?

Plus, what’s the point of guarding the U.S./Canada border? Why would Canadians want to come here?

COMPLIMENTS

I’m sure you were an attractive bulge, Charles.

SIMPLE TRUTHS

Control is pretty much central to rent control.  Heck, it is even in the name.

The revolution was no tea party.

I believe there will be armchairs for many years to come.

BAND NAMES

stoic bird

peripherally related

me and the slump

Prehensile Penis

Scary Goobers

Fossil Clam

morphing the moon

Ceremonial wash basins

FORGOTTEN VERSES

I want my own personal Chocolate Jesus
Break out
Touch face

(Depech Ala Mode)

SUPERHERO TAGLINE OF THE WEEK

Reality fighter—-fighting for freedom from reality on a daily basis

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One Response to “I Learned it in AFCA 03/30/07 – 04/05/07”

  1. njgill said

    The word love goes back to the very roots of the English language. Old English lufu is related to Old Frisian luve, Old High German luba, Gothic lubo. There is a cognate, lof, in early forms of the Scandinavian languages. The Indo-European root is also behind Latin lubet ‘it is pleasing’ and lubido ‘desire’. The word is recorded from the earliest English writings in the 8th century.

    The origin of ‘love’ meaning ‘nil’ in tennis scoring seems to have been adapted from the phrase ‘to play for love (of the game)’ (that is, to play for nothing). Although the theory is often heard that it represents the French word l’oeuf an ‘egg’ (from the resemblance between an egg and a nought) this seems unlikely. But the cricketer’s ‘duck’ is another matter.

    A batsman who makes no runs at cricket said to be out ‘for a duck’. This is short for ‘out for a duck’s egg’, the duck’s egg being the large nought (0) recorded on the scoreboard.
    The expression is recorded from the 1860s.

    http://www.askoxford.com/?view=uk

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