The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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A Few Stupid People in the News

Posted by thedarwinexception on April 3, 2007

I hate when people call here during the day only to ask me “Is Paul home?” As if he suddenly up and quit his job between yesterday and today. No, Paul is NOT home during the day – and when you call tomorrow during the day, he’s probably not going to be home then, either. For the love of Mike.

I hate when telemarketers call here trying to sell me something I don’t want, and then try to convince me that I want it. I’ve had some foreign guy from Earthlink calling me almost every day trying to tell me that switching to his “High Powered Broadband” is a great deal. At least, I think that’s what he’s trying to sell me. I can hardly understand him. Finally, I got tired of repeatedly telling him “Thanks but no thanks”, only to have to listen to him again for 5 minutes in unintelligible English telling me why I was “missing out”, and how they would send me the equipment free, and how I would be saving “hundreds of dollars”, so I was ultimately forced to tell him “Look, I’m sticking with Verizon – at least I can understand them” And I hung up on him. That’s one good thing about cable phone – you were under the radar as far as phone numbers were concerned and never got telemarketing calls. I miss that.

So today I am sick of phones. And if I go ahead and pick up a newspaper, I’ll probably find shit like this in it, which will only reinforce my opinion that people are really stupid – even the ones I’m not forced to talk to on the phone.

You know, I’m not even quite sure what the hell this is, or why she’s using it, or why I would ever use it.

 

I’m not sure if “Chef Crappy” is a nickname or if it’s supposed to be descriptive, but, either way, I wouldn’t advertise it.

 

I like this mirror. If I look into this mirror during the day, maybe it won’t depict me as wearing a ratty old nightgown and housecoat.

 

There’s a few kids I would bring here.

 

I wouldn’t be able to use this medicine. I have the chest of an underdeveloped 12 year old boy.

 

 

If my shower reminded me of a living orgasm, I don’t think I’d want to change it. Then again, I don’t think I’m quite sure what a living orgasm is.

 

 

Then she accused the paper…..

 

They misspelled Chimp.

 

Ummm…no thanks, looks like you appreciated it a little too much.

 

I don’t even know what to say.

 

You know, you have to wonder how fucking hungry these people were that they couldn’t tell there was vomit on the buffet.

 

…..and my favorite. Just because I’m wondering if I would qualify as a professional.

 

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4 Responses to “A Few Stupid People in the News”

  1. Boron said

    Kim…! am the proud owner AND user of a Nasaline nasal irrigator. There are at least 2 other irrigators on afca, too, although I don’t know what kind of widget they use. My doc recommended Nasaline.

    Bwa-hahaha!

  2. Charlie Pearce said

    I reckon the ejaculate in that Winnebago has something to do with the Onan engerator – wasn’t he famous for that kind of thing…?

  3. Greg Goss said

    With the “onan” generator, I’m sure that the winnebago ad is intended as a joke.

    An author whose blog I read swears by his nasal irrigator. Says it’s made his chronic allergies almost irrelevant.

  4. Hactar said

    Onan http://onan.com/ is a genuine company. Maybe he said “Gee willikers!” all over the RV.

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