The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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I Learned it in AFCA 03/16/07 – 03/22/07

Posted by thedarwinexception on March 23, 2007

YOU WILL LEARN STUFF HERE

Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Patrick Leahy, D-Vermont, said Wednesday that he will subpoena Karl Rove to appear before his panel regarding the Bush administration’s firing of eight U.S. attorneys, if the White House deputy chief of staff does not do so voluntarily.

UK: ‘estate car’ == US: ‘station wagon’

“All motor oils are made up of base oils and additives. In general, fully synthetic motor oils contain non-conventional, high-performance fluids. Semi-synthetic oils (also called “blends”) usually use a small percentage of non-conventional, high-performance fluids in combination with conventional base oil.”

Charles M. Taylor, a Canadian philosopher who teaches at Northwestern University, was named on Wednesday as the winner of the 2007 Templeton Prize for Progress Toward Research or Discoveries About Spiritual Realities, which this year is worth more than $1.5-million.

“The Vespa’s original architect, Corradino D’Ascanio – an aeronautical engineer who had a hand in designing the first helicopter – found motorcycles to be inelegant and dirty. He wanted his scooter to be more female-friendly.”

To read can product codes, refer to the bottom of the can. The first four numbers of the second line of numbers are the date code, and the following four numbers indicate the plant code. For example, if the second line begins with four numbers from 6339 to 7073 followed by the plant code 4197, then the can should be recalled. For foil pouches, the code numbers are located at the lower left hand corner on the back of the pouch. The date and plant codes appear in the third group of numbers, beginning an 11-digit sequence.

“Box Lacrosse is played on a standard sized arena floor and features 6 players (goaltender and five runners) of an 18-20 player team on the floor at one time”.

The “Idaho” potato..is the most prized of the North American varieties because of its large size, pulpy interior,..and russeted (textured) skin.

LFOs are used in synthesizers to generate low-frequency signals that can be connected to other modules to control things like vibrato, tremolo, filtering parameters and many other things.  They’re called low-frequency oscillators to distinguish them from the tone-generating oscillators used to give the initial sounds, which have a much higher frequency range.

Ellen Church was hired as the first airline stewardess in 1930 but the word was around for almost a hundred years before that, it was originally applied to women who worked on passenger ships.

This clouded leopard which feasts on monkeys, deer and pigs has been discovered living deep in the Borneo rain forest. Long thought to be identical to the clouded leopards living on mainland South East Asia, genetic analysis has shown that the Bornean big cat is in fact a separate species.

One common myth is that beans should never be salted before cooking because that toughens the skins. Not only is there no scientific evidence for this, but practical experience says otherwise as well. Actually, salting before cooking has no effect on cooking time or digestibility, and because the bean absorbs some of the salt during cooking, it is seasoned through, allowing you to use less salt than if it were added afterward.”

Ketchup has not always been made out of tomatoes. It started out as a general term for sauce, typically made of mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices. Mushroom ketchup is still available in some countries, such as the UK. Some popular early main ingredients include blueberry, anchovy, oyster, lobster, walnut, kidney bean, cucumber, cranberry, lemon, and grape.

in 1970, Nixon’s adjusted gross income was $262,942; he paid $792 in Federal income tax and nothing at all in state or local taxes. Among other shenanigans, he received $1.2 million for selling part of his property in San Clemente but claimed that it was worth exactly what he received for it, so there was no capital gain. (When Nixon started getting heat in the press over his tax returns, he hired Coopers & Lybrand to audit his books: they said there was a $117,370 capital gain on the San Clemente sale. Oops!)

Carol Burnett has filed a $2 million copyright infringement lawsuit against 20th Century Fox, claiming her cleaning woman character was portrayed on the animated series “Family Guy.” The U.S. District Court lawsuit, which was filed Thursday, said the Fox show didn’t have the 73-year-old comedian’s permission to include her cleaning woman character, Charwoman, in an April 2006 episode.

A cobra can lift about a third of its body off the ground. Since a king cobra can be as much as 18 feet long, a big one could stand six feet tall when preparing to strike, or just to have a look around. Despite their ability to stand tall, they make lousy basketball players.

 About one-third of the people living in the national’s capital are functionally illiterate, compared with about one-fifth nationally, according to a report on the District of Columbia.

Serbian vampire hunters rammed a wooden stake through the heart of former dictator Slobodan Milosevic to stop him ‘returning from the dead’.

Iatros means physician in Greek, and -genic, meaning induced by, is derived from the International Scientific Vocabulary. Combined, of course, they become iatrogenic, meaning physician-induced. Iatrogenic disease is obviously, then, disease which is caused by a physician.”

“Canola oil, which is was previously called rapeseed oil, differs from other vegetable oils because it contains significant quantities of eicosenoic and erucic fatty acids. It is used as both an edible oil and as a lubricant for metal surfaces because of high viscosity of
rapeseed oil.”.

At the beginning of each presidential term, it is traditional for anyone occupying a “political office” to turn in a signed letter of resignation. For example, when President George W. Bush took office in 2001, he received the resignations from 91 of 93 sitting U.S. attorneys. A political office is generally considered one that the occupant “serves at the pleasure of the President.” If there is a new President from a different party, it is expected that all of the resignations would be accepted. The attorneys are then replaced by new political appointees, typically from the new President’s party. Presidents Reagan and Clinton immediately dismissed all 93 US attorneys when they came to office. Other Presidents have installed their team by transitioning in replacements gradually as the tenure expired for the preceding administrations US Attorneys.

“Suggestions that the Osco name was dropped [in California] due to its similarity to the Spanish word ‘asco’ (slang for ‘I vomit’) were dismissed by the company as ‘nonsense.'”

“You may wonder why some “wet” food was produced at Menu Foods. In fact, virtually every pet food company commonly uses outside partners for special or small volume items. Nonetheless, the different branded products made by Menu are not “the same”. Our Iams and Eukanuba pet foods have unique recipes and important ingredient differences that distinguish them from other pet food brands.”

France became the first country to open its files on UFOs Thursday when the national space agency unveiled a website documenting more than 1,600 sightings spanning five decades.

Labyrinthitis is disease that can cause dizziness and other balance problems. It is due to (among other things) an ear infection.

“Researchers found that, far from being a sign of delinquency and poor academic ability, many adolescent “metalheads” are extremely bright and  often use the music to help them deal with the stresses and strains of being  gifted social outsiders.”

STUFF THAT MADE ME LAUGH

I looked up “delusional” – your mother was right – based on the picture they have, you DO need a haircut.

the all-purpose tool kit is duct tape and a hammer.  If it moves and it shouldn’t, use the duct tape.  If it doesn’t move and should, use the hammer.

Do you mind? Peter and I are bonding here.

A terrorist, that’s who!

Try the fig thread.

I’m pretty sure they

Well, thanks for spoiling it for us.

My house can read, but only when the writing is on the wall.

“Sheesh, it smells like something died in here.”

GUESS THE AFCA’N

I try to be as disinterested as possible.

I used to own the fastest motorcycle in the world.

Fuck. I’m a Mormon and didn’t know it.

I like the bad tasting ones.

I’ve worn out a bunch of Trojans.

I don’t think I’ve ever really bothered with explicit mashing.

There is nothing I like more than getting a good 8 inches.

I don’t want to be Jackson Pollock. I want to live, dammit, I want to live!

My toilet has never saboted.

My name is Bill and I have been shopping at Safeway for 48 years.

I had to get out my Bible just to confirm that I wasn’t crazy.

I figure if bears had giant trawler fishing ships, they’d use them. But I don’t have a lot of respect for bears.

I have a breastographic memory.

MOTTO’s

Oh, I am sure there are individuals that like it [religion] and find it comforting and all, but like masturbation, it needn’t be done in public.

That’s the best answer I’ve heard so far, albeit a disappointing one.

AFCA is my favorite non-place ever.

Sincerity.  Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Anything you said that does not concur with my conclusion, I have chosen to ignore.

When you ask the question properly, it answers itself, doesn’t it?

Hey.  That’s not the horse you rode in on.

Senseless posts are us.

BIBLICAL MOTTOS

Idiot not lest ye be idioted.

“I will accept no bull from your house.”

AFCAN ADVICE

I suggest you move to a shack high in the Appalachians.

Never tailgate a busload of nuns.

SAY NEIGH TO DEAD-HORSE SEX

INNOCENT QUERIES

Still trying to half-ass things, aren’t you?

Sam Walton wouldn’t  have fed crap to Ol’ Roy, would he?

Who doesn’t like pizza and boys?

Does that make Jessica Rabbit a harelot?

Do we have any volunteers to go thaw Lisa Ann’s butt?

Would the Rosanne Tango involve a bunch of clowns in little cars?

What, you had plans for saturday night involving sheep?

What made you decide to grow boobs?

What are the ingredients of gack?

SIMPLE TRUTHS

but sticking their hoses in their own holes is considered immoral by top military brass.

If you can’t manage to ridicule fried okra, you don’t deserve to BE on late-night TV.

Most snakes are not very tall, whether you include the tail or not.

BAND NAMES

explicit mashing

The Primed Frontal Lobes

Seltzer Filled Sharks

demonic leprechaun

competitive hat culture

FORGOTTEN VERSES

“Now I came here for a story, ’bout the dogs and Harley barn
But Kim just started me knitting when I asked her for a yarn
Then we stuffed ourselves with Chinese, so her husband wouldn’t shrink
And they said before I got to leave, had to fix the kitchen sink
Oh mama, can this really be the end
To have snuck into Malone, with the Memphis blues again . . . ”

–big apologies to Bob Dylan

Take it! Take another little pizza my ass now baby…

AFCA WILL BE WORSHIPPING AT

I’ts-your-duty-to-God-to-drive-a-Hummer Megachurches

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4 Responses to “I Learned it in AFCA 03/16/07 – 03/22/07”

  1. […] Original post by The Darwin Exception […]

  2. groo said

    You quoted: “Serbian vampire hunters rammed a wooden stake through the heart of former dictator Slobodan Milosevic to stop him ‘returning from the dead’.”

    No they didn’t! The inept fuckers missed, probably because THEY DIDN’T DIG HIM UP FIRST. Talk about lazy vampire hunters.

    “Where do you think his heart is, Victor?”
    “Ehh, around there somewhere.”

    If you are going to protect the community from evil undead, you really should show a bit more job dedication. Plus, you might want to consider that pissing off a vampire by driving a stake NEAR his heart is probably not a good plan for living a long, healthy life.

  3. Veronique said

    Thank goodness for your summary, I was going into withdrawal. The only thing that could possibly have bettered it would be one or two more quotes from moi, not that I’m complaining, mind you. Love your blog, hope Paul’s doing okay.

    V.

  4. Lisa Ann said

    Thanks Kim – like the rest of the gang, I’m suffering from Summary Reduction Syndrome…I don’t know what I’d do if yours was late too!

    Hope Paul’s doing well, or at least that you haven’t killed him yet.

    Lisa ann

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