The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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I Learned it in AFCA 02/22/07 – 03/01/07

Posted by thedarwinexception on March 2, 2007

YOU WILL LEARN STUFF HERE

Men’s bathing suits are not taxed in Pennsylvania. Women’s bathing suits are

Formally the titles of Governor and Senator are held for life, the titles of Representative and President end with the term in office. The form of address for a sitting or former Governor is “The Honorable.”

“Late last year, as winter’s first chill sent consumers reaching for their thermostats, a dozen U.S. senators asked 10 major oil companies to donate a portion of their record profits to help the poor. Only Citgo responded, dispatching tankers to housing projects in New York and Massachusetts in what Felix Rodriguez, the company president and chief executive, called a purely “humanitarian” gesture. Today, the program expands to homeless shelters and Native American tribes in Maine. Friday, Rhode Island gets its initial delivery.”

The producers were reportedly dissatisfied with early auditions for the role of House. When Hugh Laurie cast on the audition tape, he apologized for his appearance as he was filming Flight of the Phoenix at the time of the casting session. Laurie’s audition tape
compelled director Bryan Singer to get up out of his chair to get as close to the television screen as he could. Laurie’s American accent was reportedly so flawless that Bryan Singer singled him out as an example of a real American actor, being unaware of Laurie’s
background.

“Horizontal buttonholes take horizontal stress with less deformation of the buttonhole shape and offer much less likelihood of the button pulling out from such stress than do vertical ones. But this results in the button being pulled to the end of the hole rather than staying centered. Since a well fitted shirt shouldn’t naturally have any fitting stress across its width above the waist, the custom is to prefer vertical holes with centered buttons above the tuck-in level; they look better, especially on a vertically striped fabric. Below the belt or at the waist, where there might be more stress, you can revert to the stronger position.”

Thunderstorms form when an air mass becomes so unstable that it overturns (convects) violently. ‘Unstable’ means that the air in the lowest layers is unusually warm and humid, or that the upper layers are unusually cool, or oftentimes, both. Rising near-surface air in an unstable air mass expands and cools, and finds itself still warmer than it’s environment, which causes it to rise even farther. If enough water vapor is present, some of this vapor condenses into a cloud, releasing heat, which makes the air parcel even warmer, forcing it to rise yet again. In thunderstorms, this process continues to feed on water vapor in the lower atmosphere, pumping air warmed by condensation as high as 40,000 to 60,000 feet. Thunderstorms are more common in the afternoon over land, when daytime heating of the land by the sun causes the lower part of the troposphere to become unstable. Or, some thunderstorms can form from the upper atmosphere becoming unusually cool, due to the approach of an upper air disturbance. In
this case storms can form at any time of day, even when there hasn’t been daytime heating of the land. One absolute requirement, however, is there has to be sufficient water vapor to feed the storm. This is the fuel for the thunderstorm. As the storm uses up this fuel, it is converted to rainfall. Eventually, the storm stabilizes the atmosphere, through using up the excess water vapor, cooling the lower troposphere, and warming the upper troposphere.”

Similarly the word “mesmerize” comes from the name of a Franz Anton Mesmer, who discovered what he called “animal magnetism.”

Ostriches and several other types of large flightless birds are collectively known as “ratites.” In addition to being large and flightless, ratites share certain other morphological traits, such as features of the palate, unfused skull sutures, persistence of downy, juvenile type feathers, and an unkeeled sternum. These shared features are similar to those seen in juvenile birds, and it has been suggested that some of the ratites may have independent ancestries.

the primary action of soap is to make bacteria and virus *slip off* — it generally doesn’t kill B&V (and there are B if not V that consider bar soap to be home), but it reduces their ability to cling to you so that the water can carry them away.

Burning Man is an eight-day-long festival organized by Black Rock City, LLC, under the guidance of founder Larry Harvey. The festival is held annually and ends on the American Labor Day holiday in September. The festival takes place on the playa of the Black Rock Desert in Nevada, 90 miles (150 km) north-northeast of Reno. Though the specific location on the playa changes from year to year, the location has been quite constant in recent years. The temporary city is an experiment in community, radical self-expression, and radical self-reliance.  The event takes its name from the ritual of burning a large wooden sculpture of a man on the sixth day.

“The extinction of the passenger pigeon is a poignant example of what happens when the interests of man clash with the interests of nature. It is believed that this species once constituted 25 to 40 per cent of the total bird population of the United States. It is estimated that there were 3 billion to 5 billion passenger pigeons at the time Europeans discovered America.”

Russia and Poland are part of Europe.

a moose can shit a long way.

once you pay off an auto loan and get a release of lien from the lien holder, you have either 10, 15, or 30 days, or as long as you want, to inform the DMV of this and apply for a new title in your name, depending on which DMV web page and/or publication you read. The penalty for not doing something you may or may not need to do is either $15 or $30. Either you can’t do this by mail but need to come into the DMV in person, or you can do it by mail, there is no need to do it in person.

George Walter Pearch, known as Wally George (4 December 1931 – 7 October 2003) was an American conservative radio and television commentator. He was known as the self-proclaimed “Father of Combat TV”. George became famous as the host of the television talk show Hot Seat, where he was famous for his combatative interview style and shocking antics.

STUFF THAT MADE ME LAUGH

Well, if he can calculate the number of angels that can dance on the head of a pin, I’m sure he can calculate the number of suckers who will consider visiting his website.

We’ve probably talked about blowjobs before, too, but I don’t see you bitching about that.

I wouldn’t mind filing a lawsuit against your parents, but not for the same reason as you.

Do both of us occasionally do stupid things? Well, yes, my wife does.

Deactivated? You dated a cell phone?

He’s old enough to have pimped eye of newt.

It’s the tomb of the unknown savior.

It’s not about how fast it comes, it’s about how much it enjoys coming.

Thankfully, AFCA has Shawn to fill that niche.

You can’t get into the mind of a carafe.

Maybe he forgot to wear pants.

For an English major you’re pretty literal-minded.  Not to mention probably wrong.

CONFESSIONS

I like Licky

I seldom wear T-shirts while beating my wife.

I’ve never actually passed a cricketer

my ceremonial loincloth is on the table

If I ever have a kid I’m going to name him “Doctor”. He’ll get teased a lot, but it will save him around $80,000 in medical school tuition.

Aliens abducted me and replaced me with an exact duplicate.

I just don’t know enough about buffalo.

I’m stripping a floor, so this could likely just be the fumes talking…

I’d rather listen to music than people most any day.

My mother doesn’t respond well to treats.

My claims are vaguer than many others.

if I hear shouting and bodies flying, I’ll call the police.

It is pretty much my one claim to fame in this lifetime…I got Campbell’s to quit putting big chunks of celery in their Chicken Noodle Soup

MOTTO’s

If you’re going to be (almost) killfiled anyway, might as well make it worth your while.

I’ve read this sentence several times and am still not sure what you’re doubting.

We almost never make vague claims.

Probably the most splortworthy NG ever.

AFCAN ADVICE

There’s actually three things you need in order to be truly successful. First, you need a good idea. Then, you need a huge pile of money. Lastly, you need to be crazy enough to bet the whole huge pile of money on the good idea.

if a rhino asks you “Does this horn make me look fat?”, you should probably say “no”.

INNOCENT QUERIES

So what are the rest of us?  Unpeople?

Why aren’t all you people entertaining me?

COMPLIMENTS

You are such a lovable retard, I’m going to put your name in a very special place, right alongside Binny’s.

SIMPLE TRUTHS

yes, you CAN knit your own candy underwear.

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.

AFCA is not a hotbed of frat boys and sorority girls.

BAND NAMES

Towing Jehovah

Express beagle anal glands

Pugtative Ratite Fossils

Shelves of Kleenex

Moose Distribution

COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

loan of the simians

PUNISHMENT OF THE WEEK

cluster of periods

FORGOTTEN VERSES

Oh, Jesus was a yo-yo
and he came and he went
the second time down he
landed on a tent

He spun up into heaven
on a heavenly string
but the angels flew around it
and no one saw a thing

Now, the period is doubtful
of the Jesus yo-yo
no one knows just how long
till he comes and he go….oooo….ooos

Well, I read about Buddah
I read about Abe
If I read about Jesus
maybe next time he’ll wave…

(to the tune of “Stewball was a Racehorse”, in case you couldn’t tell)

IF YOU THINK THERE’S NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN

Right. …except for YouTube. That’s pretty new. And Anna Nicole Smith is apparently still dead, that’s a pretty recent development. And the Republicans blocked a no-confidence vote on the president by three votes, that just happened. A high-speed train just crashed in England. Google released enterprise apps. The Army is shocked (shocked!) to find substandard living conditions in the outpatient wing of Walter Reed(after reading about it in the Washington Post, no less) and pledges to do something about it. Canada is now turning back people at the border based on 30-year-old convictions. Apple and Cisco resolved the iPhone dispute. Britney’s back in rehab. That new Astronaut movie is out. A US soldier was sentenced to 100 years in jail for a rape and murder in Iraq. The US government has a controversial new meat-inspection system. Al Queda released a new video. NASA released their plans to deal with an astronaut wig-out in space. There’s beavers in New York City. The NFL combine is coming up.

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One Response to “I Learned it in AFCA 02/22/07 – 03/01/07”

  1. Hactar said

    > Express beagle anal glands

    Worst fast food idea ever.

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