The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Paul is a Year Older – or two

Posted by thedarwinexception on February 27, 2007

This Sunday, March 4th, is Paul’s birthday. He will be 42 – of course, that’s not counting the whole year he thought he was a year older. He was quite upset about that, too. He made it all the way to December 31st thinking he was a year older – it was only when he kept saying “Come on 1998!” ‘Woo Hoo! Out With 1997!” That I noticed something was wrong – it was only going to be 1997. So I told him – “ummm…you do realize that it’s only going to actually be 1997, right?” That he suddenly got this depressed crestfallen look on his face, and then that depression quickly turned to rage. He was so pissed – we spent the whole first hour of the New Year arguing over the fact that it was all my fault that he’s a fucking idiot. He kept blaming me for allowing him to think it was the wrong year, and he said it was all my fault that he never got to be 31 – I stole a year of his life, and how dare I do that to him. To this day he blames me for that – and to this day I tell him he’s a fucking idiot.

But it’s not surprising that Paul can’t keep track of the years – he can’t even keep track of the months. Last Saturday his mother sent him a manila envelope with presents in it – a belt buckle, a wallet, some fabric for me to make him a shirt – and a birthday card. Paul was confused and said to me “Why is she sending me a birthday card?” I said “Ummm…. because your birthday is next week.” He says “No it’s not – this is *February*.” I said “Yeah, and your birthday is next week – March 4th.” He looks at me and says “Kim! This is FEBRUARY!” Then, in all seriousness, he starts counting on his fingers – like he’s 3 years old – trying to, I don’t know, *convince* me that March didn’t follow February. So he starts counting on his fingers and he’s sounding off the months to me very emphatically like I was wrong. “January – February – April – May…….” Then he stops. Thinks about it…. and starts counting again “January – February – April – June – May…”Then he says “Go get me a fucking calendar.”

I’m telling you, it’s no wonder he lost a whole year of his life – and no, it’s not my fault.

But, for his birthday we are taking a trip into the “big city” of Plattsburgh. Paul wants to go and see “Ghost Rider”. So, we get to go to the movies for the first time in I don’t know how long. That should be fun.


3 Responses to “Paul is a Year Older – or two”

  1. Greg Goss said

    I was never 31 either.

    I decided I wasn’t going to be thirty “till I was ready for it”, so I projected a constant 26 at the world for much of a decade. Then I jumped directly to 33.

  2. Debi said

    Bless your heart for continuing to take care of Paul. Apparently he REALLY needs it.

  3. Lisa Ann said

    Kim, I have *got* to get up to Malone to meet you and Paul in person. Has he ever glued himself to anything? I suspect he and my mom might be related.

    Lisa ann

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