The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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More Random Stupidity in the News

Posted by thedarwinexception on February 24, 2007

So – all is going well with the new Dish system. Except for Paul using it. He now has to get used to a whole new remote, and new buttons and features. And although you would think that things like “a button that has an arrow on it pointing right” would kind of mean “play” from one remote to the next, and that this would be something that you wouldn’t have to like RE FUCKING LEARN, no, he has to be taught all over again.

And it’s unfortunate that the new remote says “select” on the main button instead of “enter”, like the last one, because that’s like having to learn a whole new fucking language. I have to re-train myself to not say “OK Paul, now just push ok.” or “OK Paul, now just hit enter.” Because since there isn’t an actual button that says “OK” or “Enter”, he can’t quite grasp that you just hit the “main button”. He’ll sit there looking at the remote going “What? Where? What do I hit now?” It’s the fucking microwave all over again – he still can’t run that thing. Because, you know, a great big fucking button that says “START” is way too fucking complicated for him.

So, all should be fine once I retrain him. And in the meantime, I just have to keep yelling from the computer room “Push the big fucking button in the middle!” And then, 5 minutes later when I hear him cursing and mumbling “Stupid fucking remotes – why do they have to make them so complicated?” I just have to quietly get up and go do it for him. Because, you know, the up arrow next to the word “Volume” can’t *possibly* mean “turn the volume up” – because the last remote said “Sound” not “Volume”.

So, let’s take a look at some other examples of stupidity. Misery loves company.

Well, that’s good – you know, for when you’re racing a porch.


OK – admit it, you’ve been using your carport the wrong way all these years, haven’t you?


I can’t quite figure this out. Does the car run *although* the engine is gone, or is the engine like in some other car, but running? Now see, I’d call the guy just to ask him. But, either way, I wouldn’t buy the car. Well, maybe if it ran without an engine, I would. Because that could like be nice and all.


I think these would be a great gag gift for someone. Especially if they didn’t notice that there was only one set of clamps until they went to use them. Wouldn’t that be funny?


anyone want to hazard a guess as to exactly what that hat is hanging on?


You know, I’m just not thinking this is a really attractive look.


I think some people are just crazy – I’d never keep a teenage boy as a pet.


You know, that’s just nasty.


…but only *part* dog.


You know, if you do these steps backwards, you’ll screw your furniture right up.


I love this company.  I love the way they advertise. That’s a company with balls.


And my favorite, because there’s nothing like your childhood Christmas memories. 


2 Responses to “More Random Stupidity in the News”

  1. Hactar said

    Re your “remote saga”, I feel your pain. One of my relatives is the same way. Drives me batty.

  2. Hatpin said

    “Wherever I hang my hat, that’s my bone.”

    And you can wipe it with a dry, clean cloth after use, too.

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