The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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As Seen on Direct TV – The Baby Gets The Body

Posted by thedarwinexception on February 22, 2007

Well, Glory be and Hallelujah. The Dish Network installation went off without a hitch – and the company was professional, upfront, honest and gave me everything they promised. Normally, I wouldn’t endorse a company or product on the blog, but I will endorse these people. They are great. They called the night before to confirm the appointment, thy really *did* give me a dual tuner receiver, 3 free months of a premium movie package, a $10.00 reduction from the normal package price, a choice of a free gift of either an IPod, a DVD System or a portable DVD player and free next day (and on time and professional) installation. I was amazed. And it was nice to know that it *can* be done – you really can have a company be on time, be professional, and do things without a hitch. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that when you live here.

When the guys came to install it – at first they told me “Can’t be done”. I was crushed. The guy explained to me that we didn’t have “line of sight” clear vision. “Our neighbor’s trees were in the way”. He brought me outside to show me the trees, and it was then that I explained to him those were *our* trees, and that we could cut them down. He was pretty incredulous that  we owned so much property in the village, and was impressed with our land. I told him I could have Paul cut them down – it was no big deal, so they installed the system and made me sign a paper saying that I acknowledged that we had a “tree issue.” But the system works absolutely fine, it may only be spring before we notice any degradation in the signal, and that’s only if those trees bear leaves – and if they are still there.

For now though, we have a great signal – everything works wonderfully and I like the Direct TV. I like the program guide, I like the amount of programming, I like the nice crisp clear picture, I like the recording features. And I *love* that I can record from either TV.

And someone left a comment explaining that when the “Today” show pulls away for “local weather” that the satellite doesn’t know what your “local weather” is a puts up a generic map, but I haven’t found that to be true. I get the same local weatherman during those segments that I got with the cable system.

And I *do* get Court TV, thank God, since I am watching the Anna Nicole Smith body custody case. No, not *baby* custody – body custody. And what a circus *that* is. Fainting lawyers, screaming lawyers, judges that spin yarns and anecdotes in the middle of testimony. Absolutely astounding testimony – extending to witnesses on the phone who the court hasn’t even established the identity of – and legally irrelevant testimony with regards to the disposition of this case – And it’s one of those cases you just can’t take your eyes off of – you may miss the next bombshell.

But I think it did establish, for all the world to see, that Larry Birkhead is the father of the baby. One of the last witnesses to take the stand was Ford Shelley – who testified that he himself suggested to Anna Nicole and Howard K Stern that they move to the Bahamas, where he had a home, because only there would Anna Nicole be able to circumvent the rights of the biological father, who she identified to him and his personal attorney as Larry Birkhead, and only there would the government regard as legal and binding the name of the father on the birth certificate rather than the DNA of the child, ensuring that Anna Nicole would accomplish what she apparently wanted at the time – to cut Birkhead out completely. 

And Birkhead himself was quite convincing in his testimony concerning his relationship with Anna Nicole and the reasons he believed he was the father. He was confident, forthright, charming and believable. He testified that he had taken parenting classes even before the child was born, and despite the fact that his testimony had absolutely no bearing on the case at hand, it was a wonderful insight into the man himself, the depth of his belief that this is *his* daughter, and what will probably take place behind closed doors in the forthcoming paternity case in California. I’m rooting for him.

And let me tell you, to see that judge crying as he awarded custody of the body to the infant baby – and to say through his tears “I want her buried with her son.” Damn, that’s some compelling television.


3 Responses to “As Seen on Direct TV – The Baby Gets The Body”

  1. groo said

    Maybe come spring we’ll see Paul out in the woods, cutting down a tree with the plasma cutter.

    Oh, and you seem to be confabulating “Dish Network” with “Direct TV”. They are two competing services.

  2. Paul bought a new chain saw this week. This despite the fact that he *has* 2 chainsaws already. But this was a “good deal” – and it’s an “Eager Beaver”, which, according to him, is the “preferred chainsaw of wood splitters everywhere”. I am not convinced.

    And I know I keep conflating the two. For the record, I have “Dish Network”. I know that because I looked on the remote, and it’s written there. For some reason, I confuse the two services all the time. I can’t keep them straight for nothing.


  3. […] post by thedarwinexception and plugin by Elliott […]

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