The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Random Stupidity in the News

Posted by thedarwinexception on February 17, 2007

Well, since Randee wrote such a nice comment, and said “I especially like the newspaper clippings”, Today’s edition of random stupidity in the news is dedicated to Randee!

Now, you know, I wonder how many babies are born every year with an unbiblical
cord, and if anyone is actually working to cure this problem.

 

This is unfortunate – I could use a new colon, I think, but I’d probably need a
“small”. But a “never opened colon” would be a nice “gift idea”.

 

And it’s about damned time, too. These “hat crimes” are getting out of hand.

 

I don’t think I’ve ever had “refried sugar”. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever
had Fried sugar.

Somehow I don’t think they needed to pay for that extra line that says “Unused”.

 

That’s the way we play poker – douches are *always* wild.

 

Well, that’s one way to pander to a niche market.

 

You know, somehow I don’t think this is *quite* what I wanted in a storage shed.
I mean, who the fuck would buy this?

 

Do many people really want the “place where babies come from” to get a lot
bigger? Is that like “a good thing?”

 

Well no, no you won’t.

 

Ummmmm……you know, I’ll bet this guy is going to take his $10 from this sale
to buy an eject button for his IPod.

 

I think that’s a really honest endorsement. They don’t have anything special,
and, you know, it’s about the same price….what more do you want?

 

I’m wondering why in the hell they let this dog play ball with the kids knowing
it likes to eat live rabbits and kittens! Did they just like throw the ball to
the kid to *see* if the dog would eat the kid? “looky there, Bubba! The dog
ain’t even trying to eat the boy!”

 

I wouldn’t even call about these clothes. “Yeah, do you have any of those fat
fat things left?” “Gee, no, sorry, only medium fat.”

 

I’m from Vermont – I love Lake Champlain Chocolates – one of my favorite things
in the world. But I just lost about half my respect for them. People from
Vermont aren’t supposed to be stupid.

 

OK Ryan, come here and sit down, honey. Now look – when you start selling off
your toiletries, it’s time to go and get a JOB.

 

…and my favorite. Just because I can imagine all the potential buyers coming
and asking for a test drive

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 Responses to “Random Stupidity in the News”

  1. Mike said

    I think I might have had an unbiblical cord. Maybe that’s why I turned out to be an atheist.

  2. Randee said

    Snif.

    I’ve never had a blog entry *dedicated* to me.

    Maybe if I keep this up ALL of your entries will soon be about boo-boos in the paper.

    Many chortles were had here. Thanks again!

  3. groo said

    Where the heck do you FIND all of these? I can’t believe that even Malone can account for all these gems. Have you been saving these newspaper clippings up for years?

  4. Malone doesn’t account for *all* of them, but a fair few. Some I’ve had *forever* – I’ve collected them since college days. The first one I ever found was one in the phone book – under the heading of “Wedding Services” there was an ad for a bail bondsman – I thought that was hilarious and tore it out of the phone book and kept it. After that, I just “noticed” them more, and started keeping them. And since I’ve been posting them on the blog, people have been sending me them. And believe it or not, I just got one at the pharmacy last week – on my prescription. I’ll post that one next week, I think. It’s a keeper.

    Kim

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