My Batter Don’t Stick – My Phone Book Ain’t Thick
Posted by thedarwinexception on February 8, 2007
As part of my whole “switching the phone to Verizon” deal, today I got a new phone book in the mail. And it’s a good thing, too. The Malone phone book is so small, just a leaflet, really, that I keep misplacing mine. It will help to have an extra one. And if you think I’m kidding about the size, well, consider the fact that Verizon felt it necessary to mail the phone book with a piece of Styrofoam backing. You know, so it wouldn’t get lost, I guess.
There are still no dog groomers in the phone book. And there aren’t any bookstores, either, so I guess I’m still shit out of luck, there. In fact, the whole “Yellow Page” section is 24 pages long. 24 pages. And that’s not “24 pages – front and back” that’s 24 pages total. And half of those pages are doctors who are affiliated with the hospital – and the hospital itself, which takes up 3 pages. And there’s also the 2 page spread of advertisement from Verizon themselves. With the message “You can stop Searching!” I looked really closely at that ad – because I thought there was going to be another line to that message in little letters down at the bottom that said “Yeah, you can stop searching – you live in Malone – it ain’t gonna be in here.”
Paul has been wondering what kind of business would actually do well in Malone. I mean, we have Dollar Stores and Rent to Own centers covered – but, surprisingly, there are no pawn shops. I think a pawn shop would do well in Malone. So maybe we’ll open a pawn shop. I looked in the phone book, there isn’t one of those around, either.
And I finally got some sleep! I went to bed last night at like 8:00 – mostly so I could wake up at 10:00 for the return of “Lost” – but that didn’t happen. So I had to watch it this morning – after I finally woke up around 9:00. I was a little disappointed with “Lost” – still no questions answered – as if there ever will be, right? I don’t know, I think “Heroes” is a more satisfying show. I mean, I still love “Lost”, but I must admit, I look forward to the next episode of “Heroes” much more. At least I know that storyline is going somewhere.
I did some sewing, today, too. I finally finished Paul’s pajamas. They have football helmets on them, because they were supposed to be for Christmas and he could wear them around the house on Sunday when he was watching football. That worked out really well, huh? About as well as the newborn sleepers I’m still making for the kid who is like 4 now. Luckily his parent’s are planning on having more kids.
I also went and did some grocery shopping today. I bought 2 pounds of smelt. I love smelt – it’s my favorite fish. The only thing I hate doing is breading it. How do you get breading to “stick”? Mine never does. I coat the smelt in an egg and milk mixture – then I roll them in some flour stuff, and when I fry them – I have bare fish. How do you make the flour stuff actually stay on the fish? Is there something I am doing wrong? And if you could let me know by tomorrow night when I make the smelt – that would be really good.
I would call like a cooking consultant or something – but I doubt there would be one of those in our phone book, either.