The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Yet More Stupid Products in the News

Posted by thedarwinexception on February 2, 2007

It’s cold here. Really cold. Just when I thought that we were going to have a winter made up of a few chilly days and no snow, we got a shitload of snowy days all in a row, and every morning when I’d wake up and go to the window, the snow was deeper and deeper. I hate snow. And I hate the cold. And I hate Paul waking up every half hour yelling to me “Did you check the stove?” I think that global warming is a good thing. As long as it raises the temperature here 30 degrees or so year round, I’m fine with it.

Mostly I hate winter because I hate to go out in this shit. I hate walking the dogs when it’s freezing ass cold out, and I hate shopping when it’s cold – I hate trying to maneuver the shopping carts through the snow in the parking lots and I hate bundling all up and then having to walk through stores that way.

Maybe I should just shop on line for everything – I can start by looking for these fine items!

I love when they put these little messages on the receipts. I always read them
before I leave the cashier – just hoping for messages like this.

 

…as opposed to those smaller, regular pain tanks.

 

I wonder if one of the phrases “Tickle Me Elvis” says is “Don’t be cruel, baby.”

 

I’m hoping someone is going to comment and explain this one to me. Why the hell
would you want a “key pocket that holds a gerbil” in your shorts? Is this
common?

 

I like that this Corvette has cruise control. And AC.

 

This would be great for a 5 year olds birthday party – well, until that Party
Animal the cobra got a hold of one of the guests.

 

OK  – Now this is probably a great place to get your kid’s band instruments
– but why do they show a picture of some kid with his pants pulled down? What
the hell kind of band is this?

 

They could have at least put the fire out before taking the picture.

 

Diet Water? How many calories are in regular water?

 

With a name like Bluto, you just knew he was going to be a boxer.

 

I’m thinking that see through windows could revolutionize the industry.

 

And after this quote, she’s going to catch back up and beat your ass.

 

He also has a lawn mower that was only used on grass.

 

I’m really thinking the kid is supposed to come out of the stroller before using
the cover.

 

Dude, that sucks.

 

…and my favorite. Even though I shouldn’t laugh, I do. Every time I read this
– I do.  I laugh.

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8 Responses to “Yet More Stupid Products in the News”

  1. joolz said

    re: the gerbil pocket..
    Perhaps designed for the Richard Gere wannabe? Yes, I know it’s a UL, but possibly the clothing manufacturer doesn’t.

    PS long time lurker, huge fan

  2. joolz said

    re: the stroller cover

    That *is* the way they’re intended to be used. It’s a rain cover, especially useful here on the wet coast. I used it with my kid when she was small, and the covers are everywhere in Vancouver

  3. No shit Joolz? That’s real? Are there air holes?

    Too funny. I’m glad you’ve explained it to me, I swear to God, if I saw someone strolling their kid along with a big old sheet of plastic over the kids head like that I would be tempted to go over and rip it off and ask the adult if they were insane and start giving the kid CPR. Rain or no rain.

    Glad I was warned.

    Kim

  4. The first thing I thought of with the shorts was “These must have been custom made for Richard Gere.” Some UL’s don’t die, I guess.

    And glad you are a fan! Hope I make you smile a little!

    Kim

  5. Greg Goss said

    Stroller cover — You can see that there is a lot of interior space for the air to circulate. And that the stroller design leaves lots of openings between all that open interior space and the open bottom of the cover. It is much MORE open to fresh air than your typical car, even if you DO leave that little lever on the “fresh” setting instead of “circulate”.

  6. Hatpin said

    I’m not sure which is funnier: the ads, or your comments. I love this blog.

    Re the stroller cover, if you’re worried, they’re completely open on the bottom, so there’s no risk of suffocation or anything. We used them for our two here in the wet UK.

  7. Montgomery said

    I finally decided to give you a little feedback ! well you got it! i love your site !!! no , really, its good…

  8. Frank said

    I had to stop reading and look away because I couldn’t stop laughing. I thought I might pass out.

    Thank you! This made my day better.

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