The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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9 Days

Posted by thedarwinexception on January 30, 2007

9 days. That’s how long I have been without phone or internet service. 9 days. 9 LONG days. And even though it should have been days that I could get shit done – you know, unpacking boxes, sewing, cleaning, doing dishes, catching up on reading, in fact it was just 9 days that I basically did nothing. So, it’s not that I don’t get anything done because I’m in front of the computer all day long, it’s truthfully just that I’m pretty fucking lazy.

But, as you can see, I finally have service back. But only after I told Time Warner to pretty much kiss my ass and take their router and shit and shove it.

They were supposed to come Monday, that’s when my appointment was to fix the problem I had been having for about a week – the long load times on the internet, the phone cutting in and out, in and out. Well, Monday came and went and nobody showed up – which is par for the course. I complained so much last year when winter hit and I had the same problem, that they just pretty much got tired of coming here to tell me “It’s nothing dear.” So, they never came Monday, and I called Tuesday to reschedule, after noticing that I pretty much had a useless phone on Sunday.

They *did* come Tuesday, and pretty much did the same thing they always do – hitch a multimeter thing up to the TV (which worked fine throughout this whole ordeal), patted me on the head and said “You have acceptable levels”. And you know, it really wasn’t “acceptable”, since, you know, I had no phone service and no internet. I really don’t think that’s “acceptable levels”.

So I told the guy “OK- if this is ‘acceptable’, then please use my phone to call your office.” He tried, and, of course, couldn’t get a dial tone. HA! There! That’ll show him!

He hung the phone up and said “Well, that’s your phone. You need a new phone.”

Now I’m fucking pissed. Really, really pissed. I went to the “I don’t need this shit” drawer and yanked out another phone, hooked that one up and told him “Call Now!” Of course, that phone didn’t work either, and he again said “It’s your phone”. I was so pissed I just told him to leave, and I said I would be in to their office the next day.

So Wednesday, I packed up their router, and went to the office where I pretty much acted like a maniac, yelled at the lady, told her their service sucked, their response time sucked, and their customer service sucked, and that I wanted my phone and my internet service cancelled, and “fuck you very much”.

I then went home and called Verizon, and asked what kinds of plans they had that would be comparable with the “local and long distance for one price” deal I was getting with the cable phone. Surprisingly, their plan was about the same price, and their DSL service was on a “6 month reduced a whole bunch” deal, so I ordered both. They said they would be out here on Thursday to hitch it up, since I had no existing jacks (something we failed to install when remodeling).

Thursday came and went and they never came. This was beginning to sound familiar, and I was pissed. Doesn’t anyone respect customer service policies anymore? Is this just Malone? I had an appointment for “between 8-12 on Thursday”, and here it was 5:00, and no one had come. I called at 5:00 – the lady was all apologetic, said they must be running behind, that this never happens, and they would be here first thing Friday.

When 5:00 came around on Friday – I called again. This time they tried to tell me “Oh, they were there at 11:32 am – no one was home – did you step out?”

Now I was really pissed. If you have ever been to my house you would know – I live on a dead end street. I am pretty much the last house on that street – and I have 2 dogs that bark if the mailman parks his van at the top of our street. There’s no way you can come to my house and knock on the door and I won’t hear you. The dogs *will* bark. I told the lady this, and that there’s no fucking way anyone was at my house. The only response she could come up with was “Well, that’s in the past, let’s move forward – do you want an appointment for next Wednesday?” I told her “fuck no! I want an appointment for Monday!” she said the earliest she could give me was “next Wednesday”. So I told her I wanted to speak to a supervisor.

I did and they “escalated” my appointment for Today.

And they actually showed up this time. Woo Hoo. And the service guy who came actually agreed with me – he said that the guy on Thursday or Friday probably didn’t ever come, because he was pretty well known for doing that – if he got behind he would just write “No Access” on his service tickets and leave it at that.

And now I have a new email address – so if you’ve emailed me in the last 9 days email me again at darwinexception at and if you had my old phone number and want the new one, email me at the new email address and I’ll send you the new number.

And now I can get back to updating the blog every day – now that I’ve had my 9 day involuntary vacation.


6 Responses to “9 Days”

  1. Dana said

    That first Verizon service guy, he’s a native of Malone, isn’t he?

  2. Oh I’m quite sure. I know the lady at the office was a native – she was thick as a brick and kept trying to counter my well thought out, angry, spiteful and “pre-planned and rehearsed for 4 days” comments with things like “You’ve had 15 service calls in the last 6 months and there was never anything wrong”, which just kept making me angrier and angrier.

    I mean, what did she think? I was just lonely and wanted a visit with their service guy? There WAS shit wrong when I called – the fucking phone didn’t work!

    Time Warner should stick to cable – the only thing that has consistently worked is the cable – thank God, too, I never would have lasted 9 days with no cable.


  3. Paul Madarasz said

    You don’t know how much we’ve missed you, Kim. Best of luck with Verizon. Maybe they’re thermometers skew towards the high side.

  4. Veronique said

    God, I LOVE the Time-Warner guy telling you it’s your phone over and over again. He should be on the Daily Show or something.

    Glad you’re up and functional again (internetally, I mean.)


  5. Randee said

    I was screaming (well, quietly) along with you while reading your ordeal. (BTW, hiya from an infrequent AFCA poster.) I went through something similar when I tried to add internet phone to my cable service, and got similar runarounds all the way down to “well, they were there, did you step out.” The sad thing is that there’s nobody who’s REALLY good, they’re all just shades of bad. Good luck with Verizon.

  6. Hatpin said

    Great to see you back online, Kim. And congratulations on not killing any of those morons.

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