The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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There’s Hope in Microphones

Posted by thedarwinexception on January 21, 2007

Did you hear about the kids who were kidnapped and then found – one of whom had been missing over four years? I’ll bet you have, which is kind of the point. Everyone has heard about these kids, right? Is there any media outlet that *didn’t* report that they had been found? Was it overlooked on any TV news show or did it fail to make the front page in any newspaper? I doubt it.

What bugs me is that the family of the kid missing for over four years has been making the interview rounds. I saw them on the Today show, and on
Oprah, and CNN and giving interviews to anyone who put a microphone in front of them. I wondered what the hell could be the point? I mean, don’t you think that
the kid just like, wanted to go home and chill for a while? And there is a ton of speculation on whether or not the kid was sexually abused – Oprah asked the
parents outright if he was (they “guessed” he was, but couldn’t really say, because they hadn’t had a spare moment with all the interviews they were giving
to even talk to the kid yet). I question the wisdom in going on TV to speculate on whether or not your kid was molested. Especially when the kid is going to see the interview. I don’t see the point – at all.

Fortunately, they were asked on the Today show “What’s the point in all the interviews?” You know, leave it to that hard hitting news source – the Today show – to ask the tough questions. The mother said “Oh, we want to let people know that Shawn was found – it gives hope to others who have missing children.”

Now, excuse me, publicity slut, but doesn’t everyone kind of know already that your kid was found? Don’t you think that the Today show would have mentioned it even if you *didn’t* go on the show to grant an interview? Fuck, I saw one one segment where they interviewed his fifth grade classmates – don’t you think that all those parents of missing kids would get that whole “Hope” message even if you *weren’t* on Oprah speculating on whether or not your kid was sexually abused? And what kind of message is that to send to parents of other missing kids? Aren’t you just reminding them what kind of circumstances
their missing kids could be in?

I don’t like this woman. I think she’s an idiot. And I think all those people interviewing her are idiots. Instead of giving these people air time, asking
stupid, inane fucking questions, I think the time would be better spent showing a montage of other missing kids and telling people “Look, this kid was hiding in plain sight. He was riding his bike, walking around a neighborhood just like yours, going swimming, hanging out at the mall, doing all the things normal kids do – he
wasn’t chained to a radiator in some little room. Look around your neighborhood and see if any of the kids look like one of these kids.” If my kid was missing, I’d rather the message to the public be “Look around, abducted kids are sometimes living among us – too fearful to let anyone know who they are” rather than “So, Shawn’s mother – how did you feel when you heard the news your kid was with that other kid?” Like, you know, she’s going to give some answer *other* than “Oh, we were so happy, and so shocked, and we felt so *blessed*” – because everyone always says they are “blessed” when something good happens.

I swear to God, if I’m ever in a position to have a microphone shoved in my face after some lottery win or something, I’m going to *not* give the answer they expect. If my kid gets rescued after being missing for four years and someone asks me how I felt when I heard he was rescued, you know what I’m going to say? I’m going to say “Well, you know, Muffy, we were kind of pissed. Yeah, we had just converted his bedroom into a game room, and you know, I don’t know what the fuck we’re going to do with that pool table now, because there’s no way it’s fitting in the living room. And you know, the kid has been gone for 4 years – that means a whole new wardrobe, so, there goes the family vacation in Aruba this winter.. And I gotta admit, Muffy, Christmas was a little easier when we
knew we wouldn’t have to be standing in line for the new Playstation 2.” I’m gonna do it, just to see Muffy’s face.

Of course, If I was in that situation, I wouldn’t be doing interviews, anyway. I’d be taking a page from that other family’s playbook. You haven’t seen *them* on the news shows or on the interview circuits, have you? No, they are probably home doing the *right* thing, shielding their son from the publicity, making therapy appointments and trying to make their son feel safe and secure again. Good for you, other kid’s parents.

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4 Responses to “There’s Hope in Microphones”

  1. Quite a tirade…I agree with many of your points. Howerver, perhaps you missed it, but the other kid’s parents were on Oprah, too…though they had the good sense at least not to put the kid on the show…I do think the parents are sincere in that they want to spread a message of hope…but they’re just small town folks caught up in a media worlwind…it is the media who is acting irresponsibly. And I agree…the best thing to do would be to show info and pictures of other missing kids so that perhaps we can find them, too.

  2. Paul Madarasz said

    Who are these people? I’ve not heard of them, and I try to keep up.

  3. Mike said

    I wonder if they get paid for the interviews? You think that’s why they’re doing so many of them?

    I had some neighbors years ago who dragged their kid to every modeling job, TV show audition, and movie audition they could. They happily told us he was their new house. It was all about the money, and not about the kid’s college fund, either. The kid wasn’t going to see a penny of it unless he made it really, really big.

    I wonder if these parents are similar. If they get a few thousand dollars for each interview (how much are interviews like that worth, anyway?), they could go on a nice spending spree.

    — Mike —

  4. disorientexpress said

    these people think they must share their story with the rest of the media hungry tv worshipping viewers!…lolll, I look at it as a way to get on the tube using their kid as a story.

    too much TV has its own effects.

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