The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Moving Day Part Two

Posted by thedarwinexception on January 9, 2007

So….no sign of them yet! Anyone want to start a pool on when they will return? We can all guess the day and the hour, and the closest person wins! I’m putting my money on Wednesday – about the time the mailman comes – that’s when her next child support check should be here, and I think we can all guess that she’s “all about the money”. But leave a comment with your day and time guess – we’ll see who is closest when they finally do run out of money and come back.

I’d just love to know what they are using for clothes – all they had was what they had on their backs when they left. But I hope they learn to “make do” with just those, because we are fast approaching “moving the shit out to the Harley Barn” time. And I don’t think their clothes will be of much use after sitting out there for a while.

And the poor cat….what the hell do they think I’m feeding this thing? And who do they think is changing the litter box? Milo? Such lack of fucking basic care and responsibility is such a fucking shame. Their cavalier attitude about kids, cats, and sisters infuriates me.

And now I’m pissed off enough to re-open the question of collateral. Should I keep their computer as “collateral for the money you owe me and as a small ‘fuck you’ for the trouble you put me through?” We had considered it, then I reconsidered because I didn’t want anything tying me to them. “You be gone, take your shit and your shit be gone, too.” Now, I’m pissed off enough and I want them to be pissed off, too, so I’m putting the possibility back on the table of keeping the crappy piece of shit. And mostly I’d like to keep it because it would piss her off. And what the hell, I could sell it and get the money they owe me. Some consolation, anyway. So leave a comment about that, too. Would you keep the computer as collateral for the money they owe? Would you keep it just to piss them off? I’ll go with the majority.

So, no sign of them yet, I’m getting less nervous about them showing up when Paul is not here, I don’t give a flying fuck now, after finding the things I did, I figure I have more than enough ammunition as to “why this isn’t working out, and you need to go”.

Oh, and tomorrow I am going to try and catch the mailman myself and tell him that I am no longer accepting their mail. I don’t need them coming around every Wednesday, or every 3rd of the month looking for their checks.

So, sorry, no update today.


14 Responses to “Moving Day Part Two”

  1. Lisa Ann said

    Okay, I’ll play…Weds around 10am…because not only will she want her check, she’ll be hoping you got some more pop-tarts, too.

    Lisa Ann

  2. Boron said

    Perhaps the couple has been involuntarily delayed. A traffic stop would likely get either one pinched and if he was holding, they may be off in orange jumpsuits somewhere.


  3. Or the car broke down, or they ran out of gas and money to buy more, or he found a temporary job over there, or she got caught stealing, or a deal gone bad…..I’ve thought of many of the “perhaps” alternatives.

    But as they say, the simplest scenario is usually the most likely.


  4. groo said

    I’m guessing Wednesday 5:43pm.

    No, don’t keep the computer. You won’t get any money for it anyway.

  5. Que Barbara said

    I was going to enter my guess in the pool, but it just doesn’t seem like a fun thing to do. The situation is too upsetting.

  6. Veronique said

    As someone said on group, the computer attaches you to them. Get rid of it with the rest of their stuff.

    As far as the pool, Feb 4 at 9 PM.


  7. Huey said

    Thursday, 8:30PM

  8. Gary Day said


    First thing i’d do is change the locks, that way if (they even) have a key, when they come home at some stupid time to sneak in like 3am then the locks will be changed, maybe that way they’ll get the picture… If the cheque comes in you should nail it to the outside, or superglue it to the pavement or something.

    Actually, I reckon they found out about your website, read it and got pissed so they’re never coming back.. I’d take whats usable of theirs and drop it off at oxfam or whatever and put the rest in an incinerator.

    Oh yeah, as for the computer, you should go through it and randomly delete files or just format the damn-thing so that the box is a useless as they are! (not that i’m vindictive or anything!)

    I reckon they’ll be back this friday 6pm just in time for the weekend, a feed and a shower!…


  9. Well, they don’t have keys. In fact, *I* don’t even have keys. Well, there’s a key here somewhere for the front door, but I’ll be damned if I know where it’s at. And the back door has a deadbolt that, as far as I know, we’ve never had a key for.

    But I love the superglue idea – that’s too funny. superglue the check to the front of the mailbox.

    And I *could* crash the computer, but that’s too much like sacrilege. I used to be a computer programmer and intentionally wrecking a computer is like blasphemy. If it was a car, or a motorcycle (don’t tell Paul I said that), I could do it, but not a computer.

    And I’ll put you down for Friday, but I figured weekends were prime party time, and that they’d come, get their check(s) and leave again *just* to be ready for the weekend.

    But they really should need a shower and clothes by then.


  10. Charlie Pearce said

    I say Wednesday 5:44pm.

  11. Estron said

    I am fascinated by this continuing story. My girlfriend says I should mention to you, Kim, that you shouldn’t feel any qualms about throwing the twit out; despite her lacks in many areas, she seems to have developed good survival skills.

    She’s happy you’re keeping the cat, though. I think you should name it “Malone,” especially if it mooches a lot.

    My vote for when Gary and twit return: They’re not going to.

  12. Dover said

    I’m going with Thursday around noon. They’ll figure Paul will be at work and it gives them time to cash the check and head out for the weekend.

    I’m with the “don’t keep the computer” crowd. I understand the urge, but keep completely to the high road. That way when they complain about you to your siblings they’ll just look even stupider.

  13. groo said

    I’ve been sniped! Damn you Charlie Pearce!!!

  14. Christine said

    I don’t think you should keep the computer. Just get rid of it and say goodbye and good riddance.

    For the pool, I’ll guess Friday around noon.


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