The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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It’s Escrow Calling….Are you looking for a house?

Posted by thedarwinexception on December 29, 2006

So the girlfriend is getting the itch to move. I certainly hope it has nothing to do with ME! (Actually I don’t give a flying fuck if it does or not.) But she’s getting the itch to move.

Now, this is despite the fact that she and Gary still have no money – although she does get a SS Disability check on the first or the third or whenever they get those things. (But you would expect her to get one of those checks, wouldn’t you?) I don’t know why she’s classified as “disabled” – she seems perfectly fine when she’s playing that ridiculous computer game she plays all day long. And *my* thinking is, if she can sit and do that, why can’t she sit and do data entry all day, you know? And she seems fine when she’s sitting watching Lifetime Movies all day. And if she can sit and do that, why can’t she sit and telemarket all day?

But maybe it’s me. I mean, I have nothing against receiving a check every month if you are disabled. Even if the reason you are disabled is some psychological ailment that really and truly prevents you from working all day. If you have some legitimate disability, hey, I’ll be the first one to drive your ass down to the SS office and plant your disabled self at the front of the line. But people who can obviously work doing *something*, and *choose* to get a check every month instead, just because their only disability is an aversion to work, well, I have a problem with that. And she’s one of them I have a problem with, because she’s not disabled, she’s just fucking lazy.  

The other thing I hate with a passion is the fact that not only does she get a “disability’ check – one of her kids gets one too. And, of course, she’s looking forward to getting that on the first or the third or whenever, despite the fact that she doesn’t have the kid anymore. Kids getting disability checks is an offshoot of the rampant epidemic in this country of labeling kids “hyperactive” or haphazardly diagnosing kids with ADHD. There’s a whole new class of “governmental abuse” going on wherein the minute a kid gets this label in school, the parent will make their next stop the SS office to sign their kid up as “disabled” and collect a check for the kid every month. Now, truly, if your kid is “hyperactive”, what extra costs does this incur to the parent? Especially when the kid is already on Medicaid, Food Stamps, Heating Assistance, Section 8 and WIC? What extra costs do you have? Why is the kid getting a SS Disability check? But all you need is a doctor’s note saying “ADHD”, and you qualify.

But, anyway, she’s looking forward to moving with her three or four child support checks that are coming “any day now”, and her SS Disability check that will come on the first or the third. She should have about $1,000. Plenty enough to move and set up a new household, according to her.

Yesterday was quite amusing, as she called realtor after realtor to look for a house to *buy*. Since, of course, she’s probably never had a whole thousand dollars in her hand at one time without a handful of bills in the other hand, and a whole thousand dollars should at least buy you a down payment on a house, right?

I didn’t realize she was looking at houses for sale until I walked by their bedroom and heard her talking to some realtor and heard the number “$59,900.” She was asking the realtor – “well, and how much should be up front?” I paused to take in the hilarity of it all, since I know that at this moment they owe me $50.00, they need to pay something on groceries and the light bill, they need to get their car fixed, and I’m still debating whether or not I should charge them for cable and phone.

When she hung up, I poked my head in and asked Gary “Are you finding any apartments?” She, of course, pipes up and says “Well, I was calling some realtors to see what’s for sale.” I asked her “Oh, and how’s your credit?” She says “well, mine is bad because of my ex-husband, but I figure there’s enough people in Gary’s family that have good credit, we could get a co-signer.” Um, yeah. Right. *That’ll* happen. I didn’t say anything, but I did mention “well, you know when you buy a house, you have to have at least 20% down, right? And figure 10% of the purchase price as closing costs – that means “Up Front”.” And you have to have cash money for escrow.” She asked “Escrow? Who’s he? The real estate guy? I wasn’t calling Escrow, I was calling North Country”.  And since I didn’t feel like giving her a  “Real Estate 101” course, I let it go. When the realtor guy called back, (North Country, not Escrow),  she changed her tune to “Do you have anything “Rent to Own”. I think he got a clearer picture of her, because he asked a few more questions, said he’d call back in 15 minutes, and didn’t. And when you have a real estate guy *not* calling you back, well, that says a lot. But my information kind of took the wind out of her sails. She went back to looking for places to rent.

But there’s a snag with that, too. Number one, they have a cat, so, no places that say “No Pets”. Because when they go, the cat goes with them. I hate that little jumping fucker – always on my sewing table. Number two, no places that say “References” – remember, these are people who left their last place in the middle of the night, leaving most of their worldly possessions there for the landlord to get rid of. Not exactly going to get a glowing recommendation from him. And I’d give Gary a great recommendation, but I’m not really impressed with her.

But, she is living on the fantasy that she’s just going to find this three bedroom house, move in, then go back to Vermont and get her kids back from her ex husband with no argument or fight, and move them all over here. So she needs a “kid friendly” neighborhood with kids already there that are her kids age, and she needs the three bedrooms, and she’s going to go down to welfare when she finds a place and sign up for all the things she’s “entitled” to as the mother of three kids who might not be living with her *Now*, but certainly will be, at some point, when she gets the car fixed, and can go and just get them back. I kind of thought that in order to get welfare the kids like had to be with you at that moment, but she says, “No, I just have to tell them that the kids are *going* to be living with me.” So, I just said “Good luck with that.” As long as she doesn’t mention my name or address, hey, do what the fuck ever you have to do.

But now we are on “Move Out Watch”. Let’s see how long this actually takes.

And I still say she could work.


2 Responses to “It’s Escrow Calling….Are you looking for a house?”

  1. Gary Day said


    She sounds like a lazy ass, I f**kinghate people who abuse the system, cos it’s the suckers like us that have to pay for those…

    What you should probably do is take a bat to your brothers head and ask him why he’s with this woman, i mean unless she’s you know *great* in the sack what’s he seeing in her, I mean does he really want to move somewhere with her and end up lumped with her 3 damn kids (who it seems don’t even like her anymore anyway!)

    I’d call the DSS and shop her for being a slacker, or drag her ass to the jobshop on the 2nd and tell her that if she want’s to stay in/at your place she needs to get off her ass and work for a living, even if it’s just a mcjob or whatever..


  2. I agree with you, Gary, the one thing I hate above all other things (well, maybe ignorance comes first, but this is a part of it), is people who expect the government to support them because they have the distinguished skill of being able to fuck and produce children. They act like they are the only ones capable of reproducing, and this skill entitles them to FREE STUFF!

    I think *someone* is catching up with the twit, though. Yesterday she got a “Certified”, “registered”, “restricted” letter notification in the mail. She has to go to the post office to pick it up, and they noted on it for her to bring her ID. I looked at the notification, and the only thing it said in the “From” box was “State of Vermont”.

    I’m truly hoping it will be something from some family court saying “You’ll never see your kids again you stupid fucking thief abandoner”, but it’s probably something innocuous like “Your Section 8 is no longer valid, since we know you don’t have the kids anymore.”

    But, whatever it is, it’s probably step one in her slow decline to hell from her bad, bad, Karma.


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