The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Stupid Police Calls in the News

Posted by thedarwinexception on December 18, 2006

People don’t like police. But, you know, some of the shit they have to deal with on a day to day basis is enough to make anyone an asshole. They don’t always deal with the smartest people in town. I could never be a policeman, because I’d take about 2 or 3 of these calls, and I’d start shooting people. “Breathing While Stupid” is an executable offense, right?

Now see? Do you think this deserved a call to the police? I mean, if he was
flying the kite nekkid and running around going “pull my string! pull my
string!” Well, I might find that “strange” – but just flying a kite and letting
it go? Not so much.


Hmmmm… could they tell?


You know, this whole town is fucking weird – a guy trying to return a stolen DVD
player, a man has a fire in his fireplace – and a woman who calls the police
whenever Olivia Newton John is on TV.


And you know, I agree with him, this “dog on cat” crime has to be stopped.


I admit it – this one is my favorite. What the fuck kinds of kids are they
birthing in “Mountain View” that they can’t tell a baby from a burrito?


Why the hell can’t I get these kinds of people to come to my house?


and that makes *all* the difference….


Well, that’s one way to solve the problem.


You know, folks, if you expose yourself to others, and they can’t tell if you
are a “himself” or “herself” – I think you have other problems.


An that’s why you don’t bank at 1st National Mayflower Mattress & Loan


That’s one lucky kid.




Is this Irony?



well, and that’s gotta be illegal.


I wonder if it was one of those pine tree ones


I hate when that happens

How come I never get behind these people at the airport?


The lady fingers are terrific….


Who is the real criminal here?


And finally…..Stupid Criminal of the Week


2 Responses to “Stupid Police Calls in the News”

  1. […] […]

  2. Pierre Girard said

    I’m a cop. Daughter checked out your site after I told her of a call I had the other night of a 20 month old child with head stuck in a potty chair. Asked the mother why she’d called us. Advised her we could pull harder – if that’s what she wanted. Perhaps another one where “head removal” would be in order.

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