The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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Stupid Jobs in the News

Posted by thedarwinexception on November 9, 2006

Malone has no jobs, since we have no businesses, and we have stupid, lazy people who don’t want to work so that businesses can thrive here. But if you look around at some of the newspapers, there are always jobs for stupid people. I’ve come across a few that would suggest there are lots of jobs out there suitable for people who don’t like to work or are just downright ignorant. Here are a few.

At the very least you could use this as one of the contacts for your
unemployment “job search” – because, really, how many people are going to
qualify for this job?

I think what happened here is that they hired all their cops in Malone.

Beautiful house, right? Sure. But too bad about having to rip up your walkway
and replant your garden every time you take the car out of the garage. I
personally know several people who could work for this contractor.

Well, even people with an aversion to work would jump at the chance of getting
this job.

You know, I never really thought so, but it looks like I qualify to be a branch
manager and senior vice president of investments at A.G. Edwards and Sons. Ya
think?

Well, I don’t know about the “good attitude” but we got a lot of people who
would otherwise qualify.

Well, you know, you’ve gotta start *somewhere*.

Personal internships are always good.

Should get lots of applications for this one -the mentally ill usually *are*
successful and interesting. Well, interesting, anyway.

And now I don’t want to hear anymore that there are no jobs out there. Because clearly, there are.

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3 Responses to “Stupid Jobs in the News”

  1. ansaman said

    Hey, I want a new job…I am interesting, self-medicated, have 20 years experience being 18 years old, looking for that “oral treatment” (yeah baby! yeah), and I may not be say, intensely mentally ill, just perhaps a little strange and eccentric.

  2. Cool! You’re hired! $200 for 200 hours, right?

  3. right... said

    why do people feel the need to “add” humor?

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