The Darwin Exception

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Stuff You Can buy me For Christmas

Posted by thedarwinexception on November 2, 2006

Here is my Christmas list. You can get me anything on the list (or things that are not on the list, if you get prior approval, first.) And don’t send me links to places where I can buy the things myself, because that’s just not what Christmas is all about – Christmas is about you buying stuff for me, not me buying it for myself. Duh!

1. I want a dress form. I don’t’ know why I want one, I just think that it would be cool to have one. I love Project Runway, and they work with one, so maybe if I had one, I could design better clothes than I do now. Not that my designs are all wonderful or anything. But I want a dress form. Someone showed me these instructions for making your own out of duct tape, but I think I would need another person to help me do that, and it can’t be my husband. Anything that involved me being in bondage would just inevitably lead to sex, and that isn’t going to get me any
nearer to getting a dress form.

2. Liddle Kiddles. I still want to replace my childhood collection of Liddle Kiddles. It’s just one of those things that I am all nostalgic about. I remember having the whole set when I was a kid and it’s the one thing I wish I had never gotten rid of as I grew older. I remember their heads getting all loopy, I remember the wires sticking out of their feet, I remember them turning green in some places, and the way they smelled, They had a special smell. I want them all back, dammit. All of them. I’m still waiting to stumble upon that one garage sale where the lady has a bunch of them for sale for $5.00.

3. I need some more small memory cards. 16MB or less. That’s the kind my
sewing machine takes. Right now I am using the one that came with the machine,
and one old one I had from my Digital Camera, but I’d like some more. At least
until I figure out how to connect the computer and the sewing machine. I believe
I have some software that came with the machine that will catalog embroidery
designs, and then I wouldn’t actually need so many memory cards. I think.

4. I want the book “Waking God”. I just found out that the guy who wrote it lives in Malone and is a teacher at the local high school. I am very curious now about the book. I need to read a book written by someone who is from Malone. I wonder if he addresses the issue of “no bookstores in Malone” in the book. Or if he finds it ironic that he is a writer in a town where there are no readers. That’s got to be like some “personal hell” thing for him. Kind of like being a cobbler in a town full of people with no feet. I feel for the dude and really
want to read his book.

5. I need a stool for my keyboard. I have a nice piano bench, but it’s too big for the computer/sewing room where my keyboard is. The keyboard has to be near the computer because I can download stuff from the computer to the keyboard (or vice versa). So I need one of these stools for it.

6. Artex Paints and those old pictures you can paint. I used to love Artex, my mother had a whole tin canister full of those paints. I want some. And those tacky pictures you could paint. My mother very rarely allowed us to mess with her Artex paints, but I always wanted to paint some tacky ass picture myself. Or maybe a pillowcase. Or a tablecloth. I don’t even know if these things are even sold anymore.

7. The Project Runway DVD’s. I just thought to look and see if these were available, and they are. Now I want them. Project Runway is the very best thing to get me in the mood for sewing. The show inspires me. I love to watch a marathon of Project Runway on Bravo and sew the whole time. Wonderful. Now I want all the past season DVD’s.

8. I want the materials and supplies to make a latch hook rug. Not one of those Disney ones with Mickey on it, I want to make like a real classical looking Persian rug. I’ve looked around on the internet, and it seems the way to go these days is to buy the mesh canvas, buy a pattern and then cut the yarn yourself to complete the rug. That way you can get different textures and pile
lengths. OK, I can do that. I want the materials. Of course, I’ll have to have one of these nifty stands, too.

So, that’s my list for now. I’ll probably think of more stuff later. What do you want for Christmas? Do you have a list yet?


7 Responses to “Stuff You Can buy me For Christmas”

  1. Hank said

    I’d have thought a plumber would be on the top of your list.

  2. Dana said

    A plumber who’ll wrap you in duct tape. *After* he’s finished plumbing the kitchen, of course.

    And for the Perfect Man Trifecta, he’ll take the parachute when he leaves.

  3. I’ll take a plumber – one who will wrap me in duct tape or not – but I don’t think those can be had around here for love or money. But if you want to pay for one to come from your home town to my house and finish the kitchen sink, well, you can go ahead and do that, and you won’t even have to buy me anything else on the list.


  4. Veronique said

    It would be fun to do some kind of round robin Secret Santa thing, but I don’t know how we’d sort out all the addresses.

  5. Hmmmmm…..that would be fun, wouldn’t it? I could give somebody SOAP!!! Or a PARACHUTE!


  6. Lisa Ann said

    Well, the soap and parachute are enough reasons for me not to sign up for Secret Santa…WTF do I tell my parents when a huge package arrives? “LA, what is this?” “Oooh! It’s my present from Kim! Look Daddy, it’s a genuine military parachute!” “Well, I sure hope you don’t mind turning it into a tent and living on the lake shore!”

    “LA, what is this?” “Oooh! It’s my present from Kim! Look Mom, it’s 500 bars of soap!” “Well, I sure hope it’s Ivory soap so you can lash them together into a raft and go live on the lake!”

    On the other hand, it’s not like I could offer anything exciting in return. “What’s this?” “Oooh! It’s my present from Lisa Ann! Look! She sent me a dead animal hide, some turkey butt feathers with the butt attached, and some unspun llama fur!” “You have weird friends.”

    Lisa Ann

  7. Hey – hubby would take the dead animal hide. When NJM came for a visit – she brought him snake skins. He loves them.


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