The Darwin Exception

because it's not always survival of the fittest – sometimes the idiots get through

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You Might Be a Hick if… You Think You’re A Redneck

Posted by thedarwinexception on October 31, 2006

One of the things that most disappoints me about living in Malone is the lack of a true “cultural” outlet. We don’t have a playhouse, or a local theater group, we don’t have a “historical district”, we don’t have a book club (or even a book *store*), we don’t even have a fucking movie theater. There is no museum or art gallery, or a place to have a concert, unless it’s outside on the grass at  the “Arsenal Green”. And then, the band better fit in the gazebo.

There is nothing to bring the community together in a community event or gathering – nothing that binds the people together in a friendly, group setting. Nothing uplifting, anyway. Nothing that would engender pride or accomplishment.

No, what these people celebrate together every year, the thing that they look forward to with great anticipation and glee is – The Redneck Games.

Now, this bothers me on several levels. Not the least of which is the fact that we are actually sponsoring, as a town, something so fucking stupid. But even more so is that we are sponsoring something so far afield from what this place actually is. Rednecks? In this town? Where? There’s no fucking Rednecks here! Let’s look for just a moment at the actual definition of “redneck”.

Now, Princeton describes “redneck” in the following way:

S:
(n) redneck,

cracker
(a poor white person in the southern United States)

OK, we’ve got the “poor, white” person in spades, but “Southern United States”? I suppose the fact that we are approximately 5 miles from the Canadian border has escaped the fucking notice of anyone in Malone declaring themselves to be a redneck.

OK – let’s see how Answers.com defines a redneck:

red·neck (rĕdnĕk)

pronunciation

n. Offensive Slang.

  1. Used as a disparaging term for a member of the white rural
    laboring class, especially in the southern United States

OK – white and rural – we could probably get away with that – but notice the next word  – “LABORING“. Now, a redneck, by definition, has a ———-wait for it ———— RED NECK. And to paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy – “You might be a redneck if……You
have a fucking RED NECK!”  You know how to get a RED NECK? Well, it’s not by sitting on the porch waiting for the mailman to bring your welfare check!! It’s by fucking WORKING – Yes – WORKING – in the SUN – that’s how you get a RED NECK. These fucking people *ASPIRE* to be Rednecks. They aren’t rednecks any more than I’m the next winning designer on Project Runway because I sew a little.

Give me a fucking break.

Yet, every year, these people sit around getting giddy over the fact that the Redneck Games are coming to town, and they can get out their rebel flag t-shirt and their Dale Earnhardt hats and go bob for pig’s feet, delighted with the fact that they get to be proud of “who they are” for the weekend. Of course, it’s a hollow pride, since they aren’t
rednecks, and co-opting the designation still doesn’t make them Rednecks. But no one is bringing the “Hick” games to town, because it wouldn’t be very entertaining to have to actually pay an admission charge to see your neighbors do what they do best – maximize their government benefits.

Which is really amazing, because the same people who can’t work all year due to their “serious back condition”, and need to collect disability because of their poor health, will all go out and sweat their asses off flinging cow patty’s and competing in events like the “Redneck
Tire Change” and the “Redneck Toilet Flush”. Amazing how well their fucking backs are and how good their health is this one weekend out of the year. And I say if you can fling a cow patty 150 fucking feet, why can’t you sling a fucking spatula at McDonald’s?

I think someone needs to sit down and explain to these people that just because you *claim* to be something, that doesn’t automatically make you something. These people are hicks, no more, no less, and being able to quote an entire Jeff Foxworthy routine, or claiming “Larry The Cable Guy” as your own personal hero, or taking part in some stupid local John Deere tractor dealership sponsored annual “Redneck Games”, doesn’t make you a Redneck any more than celebrating Kwanzaa would make me a proud black sister.

I hate the Redneck Games. I hate the co-opting of a culture by another culture because they think it somehow “elevates” them. I hate hicks thinking that it’s “OK to be a hick” because someone sets up a tractor race course once a year in an empty field and tells them “It’s OK to be you, you dumb fucking hick – give me your money.”

Yet we don’t have a fucking bookstore. Is it any fucking wonder?

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30 Responses to “You Might Be a Hick if… You Think You’re A Redneck”

  1. I am so annoyed that now northern and midwestern hicks are adopting this “redneck pride” thing (and the goddamn Confederate flag along with it) that is so prevalent in the south. I am probably the only person in my office who doesn’t claim to be related to Stonewall Jackson. I thought our forebears left Europe to get away from being defined by class distinctions.

  2. MERISSA ;D said

    i come from lehman.
    and like dallas calls us HICKS.
    when were all preps& whatever else.
    i sware were not hicks.
    but whatever.
    had to share that 😀

  3. Dear Kim-

    I’ve never met you that I know of but I have spent a little time reading your blogs about Malone, the town that I call home. Although I found a lot of what you’ve written amusing, your comments about “The Redneck Games” really bothered me. The Redneck Games is an event that was thought up by our local country station, Wild Country 96.5 to raise money for the local Make-A-Wish Foundation, for local, terminally ill children. The idea was targeted at country music listeners(rednecks), not to poke fun of Malone. You seem to really hate it here, why do you stay? Why don’t you open your own book store or movie theatre? We do have a local theater group- North Franklin Theater Group, they are quite good. We also have a museum and historical society on Milwaukee St. We have an art gallery, Forartsake, on Main St.

  4. I’ve never met you that I know of but I have spent a little time reading your blogs about Malone, the town that I call home.

    Well HI! Glad to see someone else in Malone has a computer.

    The Redneck Games is an event that was thought up by our local country station, Wild Country 96.5 to raise money for the local Make-A-Wish Foundation, for local, terminally ill children. The idea was targeted at country music listeners(rednecks), not to poke fun of Malone.

    Well, no, not quite true.

    The Redneck Games were orginially thought up by a DJ in Atlanta, Georgia He was responding to media criticism that since the Olympic Games were going to be held in Atlanta, that they would be run “by a bunch of rednecks”. He decided to *reinforce the stereotype* that the media held *about Atlantans*.

    None of the above has *anything at all* to do with Hicks, or with terminally ill kids or charity or Malonians. Bringing the Redneck games here is like holding the annual Maine Seafood Festival in Salina Kansas. Just because you listen to country music, it doesn’t make you a redneck. Any more than listening to rap makes you a gangster.

    And that’s the problem I have with it. People embracing labels and stereotypes they have no Earthly right to. Rednecks get that way because they work in the sun. You’re from here – how many people do you know that work? Let alone work in the sun?

    You seem to really hate it here, why do you stay?

    I love it here. I just hate the people.

    Why don’t you open your own book store or movie theatre?

    I don’t open a bookstore because no one reads. When you have statistics showing that less than 20% of the populace has a high school education, that’s to be expected. The movie theater is an idea that my husband and I are looking into. Of course, we are also looking into opening a pawn shop. Paul thinks that is one business that would probably do well here.

    I know that we have an “art gallery”. It’s really not, you know. And I’m quite familiar with the “museum” and historical society. I’m a member – and it’s not really a museum, you know. It’s more of a “look at the all the stuff we have on the Wilder’s” exhibit. And the Wilder’s are from Burke.

    Thanks for reading.

    Kim

  5. Jody South said

    Awesome blog! I friggin’ love it!…but I though the “Fair” was the pinnacle of the Malonian calendar…

  6. Hmmmm….I’m thinking you are probably right – the fair probably *is* the highlight of the year. I just wish they would expand the fair – the fairgrounds, the exhibit tents, the crafts and business sections, the animal tents. But, I suppose i’m just used to the Champlain County fair in Essex, Vermont. It takes you all day there just to go through the exhibits. I wish our fair was like that.

    We have had a couple of guests come to Malone as a result of the blog – they wanted to see the place for themselves. One family came during fair week and we took them over to see it. They liked the fair and it was nice having someplace to take them – besides the Chinese buffet – which is always a “must go to” attraction when we have out of town guests. I LOVE that place!

    Kim

  7. Perplexio said

    Hi Kim,

    I’m new to your blog, someone posted about it over on the Malone group on Myspace.com and I had to check it out. I’m not QUITE a native Malonian (although I am native to the North Country)– I was born in Saranac Lake, but I did live my entire life in Malone– graduated from FA in 1995, and then high-tailed it out of there to attend college in Michigan. I moved back briefly after college, but luckily I was able to escape to Ohio after about 8 months, and then on to Chicago, IL about 2 and a half years after that.

    Your blog is cool, I’ve got some catching up to do… An old friend of mine called me tonight and we reminisced about Malone for a bit. It once was a nice little town with promise. Then the railroad was taken out and that started the downward trend that continues to this day. Sadly it seems each new prison has been a nail in the coffin of the town I once called home. If not for having family still in the area I wouldn’t even be going back to visit. I miss what the town once was and it really saddens me to see how far down it’s gone in the 10+ years since I originally left. I do miss the scenery (it’s too damn flat out here!), but much like you I wasn’t/aren’t much a fan of the people there.

    As for the lack of bookstore, I remember growing up– whenever I’d go to Plattsburgh with my parents, I’d long to go to the mall and I’d spend HOURS at B. Dalton and/or Waldenbooks. I could get lost in those stores! I milked it for all it was worth.

    Perplexio
    http://wreallywrandom.blogspot.com

  8. If not for having family still in the area I wouldn’t even be going back to visit. I miss what the town once was and it really saddens me to see how far down it’s gone in the 10+ years since I originally left. I do miss the scenery (it’s too damn flat out here!), but much like you I wasn’t/aren’t much a fan of the people there.

    Well, the next time you are in this area I really hope you email me and let me know you are coming. If I could impose on you to that extent I would *LOVE* to have someone show me around town who was here when this was a “hopping place to be”.

    I just wish I could have seen this place in “all it’s glory”. In doing research on the history and buildings of Malone, I have read of some of the great promise and hope Malone once had. What a great place to live it must have been back then – coupled with the unparalleled scenery, it must have truly deserved the nickname “Star of the North”.

    Now it’s more of a “fallen star”.

    someone posted about it over on the Malone group on Myspace.com and I had to check it out.

    And what is this of which you speak? A Malone group? If I had a MySpace page, I would join. No, wait, I’ll bet they hate me over there, don’t they?

    Kim

  9. Perplexio said

    Kim,

    Actually my wife & I will be camping up at Meacham Lake with the rest of my family the last week of July. As for the “glory days” of Malone– it was in decline even when I was growing up. You know that block on Main St. between the Post Office and the Congregational Church? There used to be block of buildings with stores in them. That block burned to the ground in 1979, I was still in diapers so I don’t remember it. The block down by the Flanagan (across Elm St.) used to be 4 or 5 stories and burned in 1969. I wasn’t born yet. The Flanagan burned when I was in college. And on West Main where the Stewart’s is now used to be the Franklin Hotel. That’s where my father got his first job (as a bell-hop) back in the mid-late forites. Rick Ellis Pontiac used to be Matteson Pontiac and was owned and operated by my grandfather, Arthur, until 1951 when he died of Cancer and my Uncle took over.

    I remember the strip mall that’s now vacant up by where the Super Wal-Mart now is used to have the K-Mart (which moved into the newer strip mall down the street in the early 90s), a Kinney Drugs, a supermarket (first it was Grand Union and later it was Great American), there was also Aubuchon Hardware store. Where Price Chopper now is used to be Super Duper and Fay’s Drugs. Super Duper moved to the new strip mall up where K-mart now is, and later became an IGA and shortly thereafter went out of business.

    There also used to be an Ames Department store, a P&C Grocery Store, a Sears catalog store, and a hair salon (Stylish Set, which moved to the new strip mall and became Stylish Set 2).

    As I was growing up Franklin Correctional Facility was built, Bare Hill Correctional Facility was built shortly thereafter, and the SuperMax Federal prison I believe was built and opened in 1999.

    My older siblings can recall the “glory days” a bit better because the reprecussions of the railroad being taken out didn’t show up all at once. That happened gradually over the years. My older siblings grew up in the 60s and 70s so they remember a much more vibrant and thriving Malone than I do.

    Perplexio

  10. Growing up I remember a very different Malone. I graduated in 1982 and left for Syracuse, NY. I do make it home every summer to visit family and catch up with friends. I even decided to spend a week at home for vacation last year. I was amazed at how little there is to do. What I did find was that I had to leave Malone for entertainment. I went to Whiteface Mt. and to Ausable Chasm with my daughter. I still love the fact that Malone has a little slower pace. When I get there, I rejuvenate and enjoy the scenery and life seems so much simpler.

    I remember when downtown had a multitude of shops and places to go. Kinney’s Drugs was on the corner of Pearl and Main St. and they had a old fashioned ice cream stand in the back of the store with colorful vinyl stools and all the shiny stainless steel. I remember when the movie theatre was right next door and Eva’s salon (where my Aunt Trudi worked) was after that (which is still there and she now owns it.) The Flanagan Hotel had docters and dentists offices in it and a nice woman’s specialty clothing store below and JJ Newbury’s was across the street (which was like our Family Dollar and Dollar Tree today). I remember when the Rec Park actually had docks and two diving boards. Funny, I took my daughter there last summer and the witch’s hat and the monkey bars we climbed on as kids are still there!! I was there every day during the summer. I rode my bike from Andrus Street to the State Street side, would lock my bike at the top of the hill and walk over the dam. I’m not sure how clean the water was back then, but we didn’t care. I used the “wall” to play tennis against myself with my mom’s old tennis racquet. I actually ran the candy stand one summer between my two years of college and would ride my bike from the the Thomas Road (Whippleville) and home. I took swimming lessons every summer. Then the geese would land there every spring and fall.

    Then there was the Fair, which I lived across the street from untl I was 13. I would stay up at night watching the trucks come in with the rides and try to identify which one it was. The first few years we lived there, we used to park trailers in our yard. That was before the Health Department made it illegal to dig a hole in the ground for your toilet. The “carnies” who parked their trailers in our yard were the nicest people and the same ones usually came back every year. I even made friends with some of the guys who ran the rides (although mom and dad would tell me to stay away from them). One of the guys who ran the Scrambler would give me free rides if it wasn’t busy. Then we just parked cars. We would use the money to go the Fair. One year my friend Allison and I went on the Skydiver 11 times. Mom and I would always get fried dough with honey. The guys working the gate would let me walk in and out if it wasn’t busy. I would wander the barns and go find my Aunt Eileen and Freddie (who owned Melody Lane Farm in Burke) and talk to them. I would head to the horse barn and see all the horses. (I even did this when the Fair wasn’t running because people rented stalls to keep their horses there during the year). My mom during Fair week would go out in her bathrob in the morning and give Mike Maneeley and Dean Yando a cup of coffee. I got the biggest kick out of that! I remember that Dean’s grandpa Yando usually ran the gate crossing the track. On the grandstand, I went to see the stunt show drivers every year (although I can’t remember the name of the group) and of course, we can’t forget the demolition derby. My dad and Dick Sprague entered cars in it one year when I was little. They worked on them at my Grandpa Dora’s Sunco Station which was down in the flats.

    That leads me into walking to school to Flanders every day. I used to stop in the morning and on the way home to see my grandfather. My grandma was there at times because she would help him with the books. I can still recall the setup and the smell of the gas, oil and exhaust. When 4M’s opened, I would stop and get candy or icecream. The Station isn’t there anymore, I think Rick Ellis bought the property to expand his dealership at the time and tore the building down.

    In the winter, I would go sledding in Notre Dame Cememetary. It was great because they would plow up to the bottom of the hill so they could get to the mausoleum and it would create a natural ramp. There were a few times I had to roll off my sled to keep from hitting my head on one of the grave’s headstones. The goal was to see if you could make it down to the street. Most of us didn’t make it, but that didn’t stop us from trying.

    I spent most of my Friday and/or Saturday nights in high school at Skateland. Yeah, I was a rink rat, but I loved every minute of it and it was a place to go where I didn’t have to drink or be involved in smoking pot or doing acid. It was OK not to do it. And, I couldn’t get into too much trouble because Jerry DuFort was my Dad’s friend and a customer.

    I can remember my grandfather saying later on in his years, he could remember when a man’s word and a handshake was enough. I took away all the values and morals that Malone had. Mostly, everyone worked 10 minutes away from their home, they went to church in their community, everyone knew everyone else… you went to the grocery store and you knew the Carrigans at Yando’s IGA. You knew Mr. Paquin who used to run East End Hardware (dad would send me there with a part and have me ask Mr. Paquin to add it to his account), you knew the Tatros who used to run their dry cleaning business next door. You took the time to say hello and chat for 10 minutes, even if you really didn’t have the time. It’s called a small community. I miss that and have never gotten used to the lack of it here in the suburbs of Syracuse. That’s why I still call Malone home!

  11. I have to make a change – I think the hair salon is Ida’s, not Eva’s that my Aunt Trudi owns.

  12. Melissa said

    I am from one of the utmost southern states, Florida. If your hicks think that being a redneck “elevates” them, then they’re missing out on the basic tennet of redneckness, which is simplicity. Basically, most true rednecks, southern or no, are a relatively humble and simple group of folks who work hard for their pay at jobs that keep the rest of us living comfortably.The main joie de vie for one of them is as follows: hunting, big trucks and how to break them, and drinking. If they want to celebrate their own bucolic low-income heritage, that’s fine. But I definitely agree with you that they shouldn’t co-opt ours. And they SHOULD get a library. Tell them that they could check out “You Might Be A Redneck If” books for FREE!

  13. wild country supporter said

    I have a problem with your arguement of the redneck games. At the end of the day, there is over $30,000 being raised for the Make-A-Wish foundation. When is the last time YOU donated that much to a charity??? Who cares WHAT is being done to raise money. Be thankful that it is happening.

    Kim, what if you had a child that was terminally ill and involved with Make-A-Wish? Would you still talk about the redneck games the same way? I think not. There are many other things to gripe about in Malone. You should be ashamed for bitching about an event that raises a huge amount of money for charity.

  14. Who cares WHAT is being done to raise money. Be thankful that it is happening.

    No, I won’t be thankful when it involves compromising my principles and the integrity and identity of the entire town. This argument doesn’t hold up “Oh, but it raises MONEY! For SICK KIDS”. Is it then OK to have a “Puppy Kill A Thon” – because it’s raising money for Jerry’s kids?

    Charity is a wonderful thing, but you can’t justify deinigrating an enitre town in the name of charity and expect everyone to be OK with it.

    Kim, what if you had a child that was terminally ill and involved with Make-A-Wish? Would you still talk about the redneck games the same way? I think not.

    Dude, you don’t know me. Yes, I would feel the exact same way. My niece has Cystic Fibrosis – she’s involved with the Make A Wish program. She was their poster girl in Vermont a couple of years ago (my brother can chime in here and tell me exactly when).

    But no one produced stage plays done in blackface to help her, or dwarf bowling, or any other event that would insult an entire class of people.

    Why is it ok for Malone to do that? There are plenty of ways to help “the poor sick chillllldren” that don’t involve debasing your community.

    Ask Vermont.

    Kim

  15. Malone Leslie said

    Getting a deja vu?

  16. Getting a deja vu?

    :::sigh:::

    This is the post which never ends.

    It never ceases to amaze me that I can criticize the teenage birth rate, criticize the economy and lack of resources, criticize the lack of any work ethic, criticize the uneducated population – and get no response, and certainly no indignation or rebuttal.

    But criticize the REDNECK GAMES and holy fuck – you’re an evil heartless bitch who hates poor sick kids.

    Pick your battles, people. And think about the image you are striving so hard to protect, and what that means. Essentially you are arguing to uphold the fact that you are barefoot, lazy and sitting around with moonshine jugs. Check out the poster for the beloved redneck games.

    Kim

  17. luvgabe said

    Bravo, Kim!!!
    Your logic in rebutting “Wild Country Supporter” is impeccable 🙂

  18. HT said

    Kim, you get an A+ in Logic and Composition.

    HT

  19. Your logic in rebutting “Wild Country Supporter” is impeccable

    Well….thanks. And thanks to HT. At least I can see that *someone* understands, that *someone* gets it.

    Sometimes I feel like I’m beating my fucking head against the wall trying to explain to these people that it’s NOT OK to hold yourself out as uneducated, swill drinking, overall wearing pig lovers. And it’s not OK to allow local businesses to foist such a label on you – with the lame excuse that it’s “for the chilllllllldren!”

    Everyone scroll up – scroll up to the original post and check out the poster for the Redneck Games. Is that how you want prospective businesses who might come to your town to see your residents – their prospective employees? Is that the image you want to portray? Is there NOTHING in this town to take pride in and advertise?

    Now Redneck Games and a “damned be the image” attitude might be OK if you are a self contained, self sufficient little town. If you can afford to have a blase attitude about how the rest of the world might see you, well go ahead and project any damned image you want. Advertise that you are unemployable and that your women all run around in Daisy Dukes and the whole town sits around on hay bales a la “Hee Haw”, won’t make a lick of difference to me, and I’ll support you. Throw big old parties celebrating “gangsta rap days” – arm the teenagers and let them run free. Who cares? As long as you pick a nice charity to benefit, it’s all good.

    But when you are economically depressed, with an unemployment rate at three times the national average and your largest and most attractive employer is the Dollar Store chain, why co-opt an image of ignorance and then celebrate it?? It makes no fucking sense in the world. None.

    Why can’t the local radio station celebrate “Pioneer Days”? This town was built on the sweat and labor of hardy Pioneers who endured freezing temperatures and complete and utter isolation to bring this town into existence. They were creative thinkers who built grist mills to bring economic freedom and underground railroads to bring personal freedom.

    There are whispered tales of moonshine and rum-running throughout the 1920’s, and mob connections and scandalous trials and an ineffectual local attorney who backed into the job of Vice President of the United States.

    This place has its own local flavor and color. Things to be proud of and stories and lore to inspire people and bring a sense of pride in community. Things you don’t have to be ashamed to tell your kids.

    Why this place chooses to co-opt the denigrating slang of a whole nother community to “celebrate” is beyond me. As “wild country supporter” said – “there are enough things to gripe about Malone”. So why the local radio station chooses to visit MORE ills on us is beyond me. And why local residents embrace this as if it’s the bestest and greatest thing in the world is even more puzzling.

    And it can’t be because it’s all “for the poor sick children”, because I guarantee you that if you stood at the gates of the fairgrounds when the Redneck Games are in town and asked the first 100 people to come through “What are we benefitting here today?” The only thing they are going to say is “Rednecks!!” Not “Those poor sick children”.

    People around here don’t care in whose name they are celebrating – they just want to get out of the house once in a while and have a place to go and something to do. If some business wants to slap a shiny sticker on them and call them “The Retard Games” Malonians will go as long as there are corn dogs to eat and some “used to be famous – back in the 70’s” band on a stage.

    Shame on the local businesses who take advantage of the town’s boredom and ignorance. And shame on our local town leaders who allow Malone to be sold so cheaply.

    /rant off – I’m sick of this subject. And I’m sick of beating my head against the wall – they’ll never get it. Never.

    Kim

  20. luvgabe said

    Great rant, Kim! Attagirl 🙂

    I’m trying my damnedest to find a plausible explanation for the Redneck Games, & the best I can come up with is that this is rednecks’ way to coopt & “own” an insult, thereby removing its fangs. As in gays openly & proudly calling themselves queer, & African-Americans calling each other the n-word.

  21. Caroline said

    Kim,

    Your logical and thoughtful explanations seem perfectly plausible to me.

    Celebrating “Redneck Games” when you live practically on the Canadian border is absolutly typical of the dumbing down of America syndrome. The reason this stupidity is so popular is because it doesn’t take an ounce of sense to buy into it. There is no historical reference to have to research, or religious aspect to repect or heaven forbid – any cultural tradition to make one feel humble and/or ignorant.

    The fact that this nonsense would be considered insulting and – god forbid- politically incorrect in many parts of the USA, only makes it more attractive and “special”. But don’t feel too bad, this is why they now have game shows on primetime teevee where people actually compete to be thrown on to giant velcro walls and jump onto giant balls floating in mud.

  22. You are the funniest fucker that I have ever read! I have written a few blogs about Malone but they are nothing compared to anything that you write. I bow down to you! I can not wait until the fiar not for the food, the carnies, and watching the skanks but I hope to see you there. Someday I will shake your hand!

  23. You are the funniest fucker that I have ever read! I have written a few blogs about Malone but they are nothing compared to anything that you write. I bow down to you! I can not wait until the fiar not for the food, the carnies, and watching the skanks but I hope to see you there. Someday I will shake your hand!

    You’re going to shoot me, aren’t you?

    Kim

  24. Anonymous said

    Only you would kick it up with another hilarious response to make my day a better place to be. Love it…

  25. Racistredneck said

    wow…just let them have their fun and get the hell out of that town and drive a half hour to visit people, eh? Oh, and the whole compairison between the redneck games and killind puppys, WTF was that???? damn hippie

  26. jean-luc pelchat said

    wow there is a blog about Malone hmmm…. well at least my grandfather jerry dufort got a decent mention seeing as how that was the last honest to goodness business that provided something to do for the kids other than titus. I grew up roller skating while my mother worked the snackbar for years (for those of you that might know her diana dufort) I really think that its sad to see my home town go under like this but on the other hand I am rather glad that I left. my parents have since moved to plattsburgh and the only family that remain is an aunt (denise lavoie maiden name dufort) and jerry and jean dufort. I’ve been away so long serving in the navy (9 years) that I rarely think of malone but a friend of mine dropped me a link and so I decided that I would drop by and say hello and hope that all of you are doing well…so long and take care.

  27. luke woodshaw said

    hey yall need to quit pickin on these so called hicks n rednecks. yall got to remember who took charge of the slaves in the 1860s when the north was a bunch of wussys. and ya i will give ya that jus cuz u show up at redneck games dont automaticaly make you but it takes some balls to jump up on a massey 451 tractor n bale a hay field or shoot a buck with a bow 50 yards away. and the only reason these people come up with ideas is cuz there aint shit to do in the country but think of stupid shit, in my home town we have bluegrass jam session that i am damn proud to be a part of. any city slicker can shoot some1 but it take mad fuckin skills to play a banjo or even a mandolin…well thats all i gots to say bout that

  28. Baker said

    I gotta agree with ya Luke. I’m a new englander from a wicked backwoods town, and there really is nothing to do here but come up with stupid stuff. When me and my friends get bored we don’t want to go to a museum or shit like that. We go muddin or blow shit up. Cuz that’s all there is to do.

    And while the term ‘redneck’ may have started in the south, it can really be applied to pretty much any rural backwoods place. Heck I live in Maine, and we call ourselves rednecks here. I honestly think that being a redneck is something to be proud of. It just means that you live simple, and work hard for what you have. It’s an uncomplicated sort of lifestyle. And yeah, you shouldn’t call yourself a redneck if you’re not, but that goes for pretty much anything else, not just the redneck lable. No one should try to lable themselves as something their not.

    To tell ya the truth, I wish my town had something like the redneck games.

  29. Tamielady said

    I happened to stumble upon this blog and was mesmerized by the fact that someone else in Malone can really speak their mind and type their thoughts with great grammar and specific thought process! I was glued to this page and actually applaud you for seeing the severed arteries in Malone!
    I lived in the Constable area for several years fighting tooth and nail to develop a Youth Athletic League to encourage children to do something other than “blow shit up”. I was able to bring softball and baseball into the town embracing over 100 children when the town itself decided to take it away from me as they thought I made a profit doing this…without realizing I spent well over $1000.00 per summer out of pocket to assist families needs with clothing, appropriate shoes, gloves and gasoline to get their children to the games. I moved away 9 years ago and within a year the organization had disappeared into the dust of the ball field!
    I am a southern lady/tomboy depending on the situation and day of week! Where I grew up…way out in the sticks..my parents encouraged us to use our minds! We spent many days singing, playing home made instruments, building tree houses and when our road was paved…I became a skateboarder! My brother made our boards with left over skate pieces! “Blowing shit up” never came to mind…we had a father who would have punished us and a mother who would punish us even worse! Not with a stick or shoe but with cleaning house, weeding the garden or cooking for our large family! Were we rednecks…Hell no…but we did work very hard tending gardens, or livestock and making pennies a day picking and staking tobacco or gleaning fields of corn! We didn’t even know we bordered on the poverty line because we didn’t feel as if we were missing out on any thing! We went to church on Sunday dressed in our Sunday best and were very scheduled when it came to after school activities and study habits…some of us went to college some of us earned a technical trade license but none of us are on the welfare line…thank God for that. We all still hug and kiss our parents and each other whenever we are all together…many people from the Malone area who were fortunate enough to meet my family have stated many times that they had never experienced a family closeness as ours. Every one who has met my family knows they are forever a part of my parents hearts and know the front door is always open for them and there is always a place for them at the dinner table…
    Living in upstate NY for 11 years was rewarding to me in many ways…and in many more ways it allowed me to be more respectful of what my family had and continues to give to me!
    Thank you for your post!
    P.S.
    Where I come from we do not have a “Red Neck” games event…unless you consider the farmers getting up at 4 a.m. to tend to their farms an event!

  30. Random:) said

    wow kim, you sound like a bitch.

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